Despicable Me 2 Quotes

Jillian: Gru! It's Jillian!
Gru: [whispers; to Agnes] Tell Jillian I'm not here.
Agnes: Gru's not here!
Jillian: Are you sure?
Agnes: Yes, he just told me.
Jillian: [laughs] Agnes, where is Gru?
[Gru zips his lip]
Agnes: He's...

putting on lipstick!
[Gru swings his arms wildly, making buzzing sounds]
Agnes: He's... swatting on flies!
[Gru slices his hand beneath his chin]
Agnes: He's... chopping his head off!
[Gru covers his head, groaning loudly]
Agnes: He's...
[confused]
Agnes: pooping?

[after Gru lied about his fear of dating]
Gru: Good night, Edith.
[gives her a good night kiss and gently pulls the beanie over Edith's eyes]
Gru: Good night, Margo.
[gives her a goodnight kiss, but returns in suspicion]
Gru: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, hold the horses. Who are you texting?

Margo: No one. Just my friend Avery.
Gru: Avery...
[confused]
Gru: Avery? Is that a girl's name or a boy's name?
Margo: Does it matter?
Gru: No. No, it doesn't matter, unless it's a boy!
Agnes: I know what makes you a boy.
Gru:

[concerned] Uhh... Oooh... you... do?
Agnes: Your bald head.
Gru: [relieved] Oh... yes.
Agnes: It's really smooth. Sometimes I stare it, and imagine a little chick popping out.
[imitating a chick]
Agnes: Peep-peep-peep.
Gru: Good night, Agnes.
[kisses her forehead]

Gru: Never get older.

Gru: I'm a father now, with responsibilities, and a legitimate businessman. I'm developing a delicious line of jams and jellies.
Silas: [chuckles] Jams and jellies?
Gru: Oh, attitude. That's right! So thanks, but no thanks. And here's a tip: instead of tasing people and kidnapping them, maybe you should give them a call! Good day,

Mr. Sheepsbutt.
Silas: Ramsbottom.
Gru: [chuckles sarcastically] Oh yeah, like that's any better.

Gru: [in falsetto] It is I, Gru-
[pauses]
Gru: zinkerbell, the most magical faerie princess of all!
Young Boy: [interrupts] How come you're so fat?
Gru: [annoyed] Because my house is made out of candy, and sometimes,
[while hitting boy with wand]
Gru: I eat instead of facing my problems!

Antonio: [suave] And my dream is to one day play video games for a living.
Margo: [romantically] Wow.
[chuckles]
Margo: You're so complicated.
Gru: Margo...
[the tweens look up and, once seeing Gru, Margo gasps in astonisment]
Gru: [attempts a smile] What is going on here?

Margo: Oh, Gru. Se llama, Antonio. Me llamo, Margo.
Gru: Me llamo-llama-ding dong.
[serious]
Gru: Who cares? Let's go.

Lucy: [calmly] Don't worry about me, Gru! I'll be fine. I have survived lots worse than this...
[frantically]
Lucy: Okay, that's not entirely true, I'm actually kind of freaking out up here!
Gru: Don't worry, I will get you out of this!
[They both freeze when they see Pollito approach the remote control. They both gasp.

Pollito narrows his eyes, then pecks the remote button]
Gru: [morosely] I *really* hate that chicken.
[the rocket launches]

Lucy: Mr Gru?
Gru: [stammering] Wha... I didn't... Wha... yes?
Lucy: [takes off her sunglasses] Hi. Agent Lucy Wilde of the AVL.
[shows her AVL credentials; noticing she shows her ID-card upside-down]
Lucy: Oops.
[giggles, then clears her throat]
Lucy: [seriously] Sorry.

You're gonna have to come with me.
Gru: Oh, sorry, I...
[takes his freeze ray out of his polo and fires it]
Gru: Freeze Ray!
[At the same moment, Lucy pulls out a retractable flamethrower, blocking the ray of ice]
Lucy: [puts her flamethrower back in and gently pulls a lipstick-like weapon out of her purse] You

know, you really should announce your weapons *after* you fire them, Mr. Gru. For example...
[fires the weapon at Gru, making him drop his freeze ray and flail though some weird movements before finally passing out]
Lucy: [sing-song voice] Lipstick taser!

Gru: I have accepted a new job.
Margo: Whoa! Really?
Gru: Yes, I have been recruited by a top secret agency to go undercover and save the world!
Edith: You're gonna be a spy?
Gru: *That's* right, baby! Gru's back in the game with gadgets and weapons and cool cars! The whole deal!

Edith: [amazed] Awesome!
Agnes: Are you really gonna save the world?
Gru: [coolly] Yes.
[puts on a pair of sunglasses]
Gru: Yes, I am.
Dave: [copies him] Mocha!
Tim: [wearing an old Dutch beard and tie] Cacao!
Stuart: [dresses like

Pippi Longstocking] Papadum? Eh,
[chuckles]

Additional Minions: Kevin?
Additional Minions: Hm? Tom? Hello!
Additional Minions: Kampai!
Additional Minions: Kampai!
Additional Minions: [Syringe comes down and Tom looks at it smiling] Huh? Kampai!
Additional Minions: [Tom hits the syringe with a banana and

then injected and turns into a purple minion] Bah!
Additional Minions: Pfft HAHAHAHAHA
[Is injected by another syringe]
Additional Minions: Ohh.