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Dr. Ben Sobel: You don't hear the word "no" a lot, do you?
Boss Paul Vitti: Well, I hear it all the time, only it's more like "no, please, no!"

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Dr. Ben Sobel: What happened with your wife last night?
Boss Paul Vitti: I wasn't with my wife, I was with my girlfriend.
Dr. Ben Sobel: Are you having marriage problems?
Boss Paul Vitti: No.
Dr. Ben Sobel: Then why do you have a girlfriend?
Boss Paul Vitti:

What, are you gonna start moralizing on me?
Dr. Ben Sobel: No, I'm not, I'm just trying to understand, why do you have a girlfriend?
Boss Paul Vitti: I do things with her I can't do with my wife.
Dr. Ben Sobel: Why can't you do them with your wife?
Boss Paul Vitti: Hey, that's the mouth she kisses my

kids goodnight with! What are you, crazy?

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Boss Paul Vitti: Whoever did that thing to you-know-who, that good friend of mine, they're trying to do that to me now, and I'm having a lot of feelings about that. And I'm... and I'm trying to get some... some...
Dr. Ben Sobel: [whispering] "Closure"
Boss Paul Vitti: ...closure on that, ya know?
Primo: What

kind of feelings?
Boss Paul Vitti: I'm... I'm very angry, I'm feeling very angry about that. I'm... I'm really... uh... I'm enraged, I'm feeling very, very mad about that.
Primo: So why are you telling me?
Boss Paul Vitti: Why am I telling you? Like you don't know nothing about it, huh? You don't know... what?

Primo: I don't know what your talking about.
Boss Paul Vitti: Okay, whatever, whatever. I'm just trying to...
Dr. Ben Sobel: [Whispering] "Tell you about my feelings..."
Boss Paul Vitti: ...tell you about my feelings and that, uh...
Dr. Ben Sobel: [Whispering] "I'm angry..."

Boss Paul Vitti: ...I'm angry and... and that anger is a...
Dr. Ben Sobel: [Whispering] "Blocked wish...?"
Boss Paul Vitti: ...a blocked wish. And I'm looking forward to seeing you... next week at that thing, and then I can... unblock that angered wish... and then hopefully... hopefully you make one more move on me you motherfucker

I'll fuckin' cut your fuckin' balls off I'll shove them up your fuckin' ass, I'll fuckin' bury you, I'll put fuckin' ice picks in your eyes, I'll chop your fuckin' eyeballs, I'll send them to your fuckin' family so they can eat 'em for dessert. You understand me?
Primo: Hey Paul...
Boss Paul Vitti: What?
Primo: Fuck you.

Boss Paul Vitti: You motherfucker!
Primo: [to Moony] You get a dictionary and find out what this "closure" is. If that's what he's going to hit us with, I want to know what it is
Boss Paul Vitti: [to Dr. Sobel] Yeah. How was that?
Dr. Ben Sobel: It was going great until the... cutting off of the balls and

shoving it up his ass.

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[Ben rushes up to Paul's room after Jelly throws a hit man off the balcony onto the wedding party]
Boss Paul Vitti: Hey, people get depressed, they jump. But that ain't my fault.
Dr. Ben Sobel: Oh, so you're telling me it was suicide?
Boss Paul Vitti: I don't know, he probably left a note. Jelly, did they find that note?

Jelly: [taking out a pen] Uh no, but they will in a minute.
Dr. Ben Sobel: Oh, and let me guess what it says? "Life is bullshit, I can't fucking take it no more! Signed, the Dead Guy."
Jelly: Hey, that's good, Doc.

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Boss Paul Vitti: [to Dr. Sobel] If I talk to you, and you turn me into a fag... im gonna kill you , you understand?
Dr. Ben Sobel: No.
Boss Paul Vitti: Me fag, you dead.

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Boss Paul Vitti: I was Fredo? I don't think so.

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Boss Paul Vitti: I couldn't get it up last night.
Dr. Ben Sobel: You mean sexually?
Boss Paul Vitti: No, I mean for the big game against Michigan State. Of course sexually! What the fuck's the matter with you?

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[Impersonating a gangster]
Dr. Ben Sobel: My name is Ben Sobel... -lioni. Ben Sobellioni. I'm also known as, uh, Benny the Groin, Sammy the Schnazz, Elmer the Fudd, Tubby the Tuba, and once as Miss Phyllis Levine. Went to a party, pop-a the 'lude and smoka the Tibet, and next thing I know I'm in fishnets singing show tunes, but that is not the point. The point is, I am

known to those who know me the best as the fuckin' doctor. That's it, bada-bing, bada-boom, very good.

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Dr. Ben Sobel: Let me get this straight: you flew all the way down to Miami and kidnapped me from my hotel room in the middle of the night just because you couldn't get an erection?
Boss Paul Vitti: Don't that prove I'm motivated?
Dr. Ben Sobel: You know, you can take a pill for that.
Boss Paul Vitti: Nah, you

start with the pills, the next thing you know you're putting in hydraulics. A hard-on should be achieved legitimately or it shouldn't be achieved at all.
Dr. Ben Sobel: Hmm, I think Mark Twain said that, didn't he?

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Boss Paul Vitti: You're turning me down?
Dr. Ben Sobel: When I got into family therapy, this was not the "family" I had in mind.
Boss Paul Vitti: You, with your schmucky little office in your schmucky little home, you're turning *me* down? For what, so you can go back and listen to housewives piss and moan about how nobody fucks 'em

right anymore?

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[afterreceiving a lavish gift from Vitti]
Dr. Ben Sobel: Call the Vatican. See if something is missing.

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[Preparing to kill him]
Jelly: Sorry, Doc. Nothing personal.
Dr. Ben Sobel: Don't kid yourself, Jelly, it doesn't get more personal.

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[when two hit men attack Paul and Ben in a junkyard, Ben grabs Paul's gun and blindly shoots back - he straightens up and sees two dead men]
Dr. Ben Sobel: J-Jelly? Did I do that?
Jelly: No, Doc. That one's mine. You got the '72 Chevy, and the Amana side-by-side refrigerator-freezer.

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Dr. Ben Sobel: You know what I do when I'm angry? I hit a pillow. Just hit the pillow, see how you feel.
[Vitti pulls out a gun and shoots a pillow]
Boss Paul Vitti: There's your fuckin' pillow.
Dr. Ben Sobel: Feel better?
Boss Paul Vitti: Yeah, I do.

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Dr. Ben Sobel: Doc, if you gotta talk, try to be vague. Can you do that?
Dr. Ben Sobel: I'm a psychiatrist. Believe me, I can be vague.

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Dr. Ben Sobel: What is my goal here, to make you a happy, well-adjusted gangster?

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Jelly: I'm gonna get a bite to eat. You wanna sandwich or somethin'?
Guard: What kind of sandwich ain't too fattening?
Jelly: A half a sandwich.

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Caroline: [complaining about her ex-boyfriend] What do you think I should do?
Dr. Ben Sobel: Well, what I think you should do... is stop whining about this pathetic loser.
[Sobel stands up]
Dr. Ben Sobel: You are a tragedy queen! "Oh, Steve doesn't like me!" "Steve doesn't respect me!" Oh, who gives a shit? GET A FUCKIN' LIFE!


Caroline: Dr Sobel?
[Sobel, back in his chair, snaps out of a daze]

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Boss Paul Vitti: [telling Ben about a dream after Jelly promises not to listen] My wife wakes me up, it's the middle of the night, the baby's crying. I go to the refrigerator to get a bottle of milk, and the milk is black.
Jelly: That's fuckin' weird.

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Boss Paul Vitti: You know me?
Dr. Ben Sobel: Yes.
Boss Paul Vitti: No you don't.
Dr. Ben Sobel: Okay.
Boss Paul Vitti: You see my picture in the paper?
Dr. Ben Sobel: Yes.
Boss Paul Vitti: No you didn't.
Dr. Ben

Sobel: I don't even get the paper.