Irving Feffer: It's not about what happened in the past, or what you think might happen in the future. It's about the ride, for Christ's sake. There is no point in going through all this crap, if your are not going to enjoy the ride. And you know what... when you least expect something great might come along. Something better then you even planned for.
Reuben Feffer: Since we have been together I have felt more uncomfortable, out of place, embarassed, and just physically sick then I have in my entire life. But I could not have gone through that, I could not have thrown up 19 times in 48 days if I was not in love with you.
Sandy Lyle: Let it rain!
Reuben Feffer: No Lisa, I'm not going to take you back
Lisa Kramer: [stunned] What, why?
Reuben Feffer: Well, you screwed a SCUBA instructor on our honeymoon. What kinda cold-hearted bitch will do that to someone they love. I have to be an idiot to take you back.
Sandy Lyle: Raindance!
Sandy Lyle: [Shooting basketball] White chocolate!
Sandy Lyle: [Going for layup in basketball] Iceman!
[Misses horribly]
Sandy Lyle: All right, we all need to look into our hearts and go, "Do I think this dude is gonna die in a few years or not?" Is old Leland here gonna fight off a man... who goes by the last name "Reaper," first name "Grim"? Or will this BASE-jumping, crocodile-wrestling, shark-diving, volcano-luging, bear-fighting, snake-wrangling, motocross-racing bastard die?
Sandy Lyle: [shooting basketball] Raindrop!
[basketball bounces off the backboard]
[while in a crowded elevator]
Reuben Feffer: So whose party is this again?
Sandy Lyle: It's an art opening for this Dutch guy, Jost. His art sucks, but he used to sell me really good pot.
[pause]
Sandy Lyle: Oh, man, I'm so friggin' horny.
Reuben Feffer: You don't know what it was like for me growing up. I had a mother who made me afraid of everything!
Polly Prince: Well, big deal, Reuben, my dad had a whole second family!
Reuben Feffer: What?
Polly Prince: Yeah, on Long Island. He had a wife, and kids, and a golden retriever!
Polly Prince: I've been living my life, okay? I've been in good relationships and I've been in shitty ones... and I've moved alot... and I've been happy, and I've been sad... and I've been lonely... and that is what I've been doing. Which is a lot more then I can say for some freak, who thinks he's gonna get the Ebola virus from a bowl of mixed nuts.
Claude: Luban! Look me in my eyeball. I treat her like my own flesh and blood.
[first lines]
Reuben Feffer: [practicing] I, Reuben, take you, Lisa... I, Reuben, take YOU, Lisa, to be my lawfully wedded wife. I do. I do.
[last lines]
Reuben Feffer: So you ready?
Polly Prince: Let's do it.
Reuben Feffer: You know, they really should tell you if they're gonna just let Komodo dragons run loose around the hotel.
