A. A. Gill
A. A. Gill

Shorts are silly. Men in shorts are silly men. And silly is the very worst thing a man can be.

A. A. Gill
A. A. Gill

Every man imagines that he will turn his suit like a double agent, that it can be twisted to his will with irony or comedy, that the man can undermine its origins.

A. A. Gill
A. A. Gill

You can propose marriage naked or in handcuffs, but no one is going to agree to forsake all others for a man in shorts. You can't declare war in shorts or deliver a eulogy in shorts.

A. A. Gill
A. A. Gill

We have to thank the members of the Romantic movement for the sober colours of suits. It was their love of the Gothic that put us in grey and black but the suit stuck.

A. A. Gill
A. A. Gill

Clothes maketh the man. They don't make you some other man.

A. A. Gill
A. A. Gill

It is impossible to be taken seriously in shorts. No one has ever cared about anything said by a man in shorts.

A. A. Gill
A. A. Gill

Penicillin and plastic bags help a lot, fridges and hot water make manliness more comfortable and Tom Ford's fragrance range makes it smell better, but the idea that has pushed our lives into the light more than any other -ism or -ology is feminism.

A. A. Gill
A. A. Gill

Learning Jimmy Carr riffs off by heart is not the way to anyone's heart, unless you're Jimmy Carr. And remember, the two most attractive things in a man is a sense of danger and being able to make a girl feel really safe.

A. A. Gill
A. A. Gill

I'm frightened of my innate vanity. I mean: the suits lined with scarves? Even I know the warning signs. I could quite easily end up in a tiny Playboy mansion, all on my own.

A. A. Milne
A. A. Milne

War is something of man's own fostering, and if all mankind renounces it, then it is no longer there.