Shorts are silly. Men in shorts are silly men. And silly is the very worst thing a man can be.
You can propose marriage naked or in handcuffs, but no one is going to agree to forsake all others for a man in shorts. You can't declare war in shorts or deliver a eulogy in shorts.
It is impossible to be taken seriously in shorts. No one has ever cared about anything said by a man in shorts.
I wish I could pull shorts off. My wife tells me that I just can't. But that's okay. I'm tall, I can do other things, like change light bulbs.
A lot of shorts spend too much time setting up the idea; sometimes they meander.
I'm most comfortable in my bare shorts without any underwear and a T-shirt if I'm home. I definitely like to sleep naked. I don't know how girls do it with thongs. Forget that!
I love thigh highs, heels, shorts, or a skirt.
With a lot of those 'S.N.L.' shorts, we would do them just as we wanted to do them and then beep out the bad words. Since it was late night T.V., they let us get away with a lot.
Sometimes, particularly in summers in New York, I have tried to write in shorts or with no shirt on and found myself unable to do so, the reason being, I take it, that writing, even of the most impersonal sort, is for me a divestment, a striptease, even, so that if I start off undressed, I have nowhere to go.
My partner and I won the race, and I threw my hat into the air and bent to pick it up. Everyone started laughin' because I had split the back end of my pants out, and I wasn't wearing shorts.