I tell you, once a girl's got a dose of novels she's a pushover for iambic pentameter.
Gordon Brown is a character from a tragic opera, twisted by ambition and a Presbyterian sense of fateful destiny. He has waited 13 years, mostly in Tony Blair's shadow, for this poisoned chalice and has a pessimist's luck.
So much of life is not about whether you're good or bad, or right or wrong, or can afford or not afford - it's just about timing.
The real question is: if you knew there was a god, would you behave any differently? And if the answer is yes, then perhaps you should assume there is.
There's no pleasing the British, or winning their favor. They simply hate politicians. All politicians. Hatred goes with politicians like mint sauce with lamb. It's as old as Parliaments.
I don't go to the openings of shops or parties given by people I don't know.
People who don't believe in God are no happier than people who do, and those who do believe are no nicer than those who don't.
The answer is that if God exists, he doesn't seem to mind if you believe in him or not.
In fact, everybody should wake up smelling nice. I go further, there is not an excuse, ever, not to smell nice, particularly your feet.
For men, privacy means not being told stuff that would hurt. For women, secrecy is having stuff go on behind your back.
