I want to tell you what it was really like to think death is imminent, but I can't. It's a taste in your mouth. And an emptiness.
When I talk to some of the younger filmmakers, they are so worried about their films that, eventually, this state of being worried reflects itself in and helps the final work. Whereas, with projects that are meticulously planned, you look at the end result and it is full of emptiness.
It wasn't a conscious decision to search for my Asian self; it was an urgency born out of an emptiness I was trying to fill.
There's a disappointment there because I still feel there's an emptiness in my career that just wasn't filled.
When I was growing up, I'd study for days trying to get good grades. When I'd get an 'A,' I'd feel elation for about 30 seconds, and then a feeling of emptiness.
You know that day after day of, Oh God what am I going to do with myself feeling? The fear of the emptiness that it implies keeps me going.
Illusion is needed to disguise the emptiness within.
To fake it is to stand guard over emptiness.
If I look at my old lyrics, they seem to be full of rage, but empty. There was an emptiness in my life.
The world, when you look at it, it just can't be random. I mean, it's so different than the vast emptiness that is everything else, and even all the other planets we've seen, at least in our solar system, none of them even remotely resemble the precious life-giving nature of our own planet.
