Wild Hogs
Wild Hogs

Dudley Frank: [upon seeing Maggie] She is perfect.
Doug Madsen: You like the waitress?
Dudley Frank: Oh, man. I wanted to say something funny to her, but all I could think of was black jokes.
Bobby Davis: Like which ones?
Dudley Frank: I forget.
Bobby Davis: Why

don't you tell the one that ends with you getting your ass whooped.
Dudley Frank: Would that be funny?
Bobby Davis: I'll be laughing. Oh, I'll be cracking up.

Wild Hogs
Wild Hogs

Jack: You're gonna pay a disobedience fee of $10,000! Plus another $40,000 to rebuild the bar! And if you wanna see your friend alive again, do not call the cops! If you're not here in half an hour to settle this, I'm gonna take the fine out on your friend's legs! I'm gonna break 'em with this tire iron!
Dudley Frank: Don't bring the money! I'm a computer

programmer! I don't need my legs!
Jack: Fine! I'll break his hands!
Dudley Frank: Oh, damn it. Bring the money!

Wild Hogs
Wild Hogs

Doug Madsen: Ooh boy, my ass is sore.
Dudley Frank: Mine too, its Woody's fault for riding us so hard yesterday. The human body wasnt made to stradle something that big for that long.
Woody Stevens: Well ya know its gonna hurt a little bit but that's all part of the experience. Its why we didnt bring our wives.
Bobby

Davis: Wut da...? What the hell? Someone wanna explain to me why I'm the one in the dirt? When I got sore jaws from 3 hours of blowin...
[notices Highway Patrolman]
Highway Patrolman: Please... Please, for the love of God, finish your sentence.

Wild Hogs
Wild Hogs

Dudley Frank: And I got a girlfriend. Punch that out of me, bitches.
[gets knocked out]

Wild Hogs
Wild Hogs

Maggie: That's too bad. I wanted you to try my chili. It's pretty hot.
Dudley Frank: No, I'll try it. I like your kind of hot. Chili, chili hot. Food hot. That's the hot I want to kiss. Eat.

Wild Hogs
Wild Hogs

Highway Patrolman: 4 counts of indecent exposure... 2 counts of lewd, lascivious behavior, and one count - pure jealousy
Doug Madsen: [shocked] Huh?
Highway Patrolman: [Smiling] How you doing?

Wild Hogs
Wild Hogs

Dudley Frank: [after tasting some of Maggi's chili] Mother of God! I swallowed hot lava!

Wild Hogs
Wild Hogs

Bobby Davis: [after being called out by Jack] Anyone else getting that pre-rape feeling?
Red: [grinning] I do.

Wild Hogs
Wild Hogs

Damien Blade: [Damien walks up to the Wild Hogs after the Del Fuegos leave] The posers. What do you guys call yourselves?
Woody Stevens: I'm Woody...
[the others say their names]
Damien Blade: [interrupting] No, no... you all riding together? What do you call yourselves?
Dudley Frank: Hogs... Wild Hogs.


[turns around and shows Damien the back of his jacket]
Damien Blade: [laughs] Wild Hogs. Well, Wild Hogs... ride hard or stay home. Oh, and guys... lose the watches.
[he leaves]

Wild Hogs
Wild Hogs

Charley: Needless to say, we don't carry firearms anymore. Sometimes you pull them out and think they're not loaded, and...
Bobby Davis: You blow your deputy's ear off.
Charley: Yeah.

Wild Hogs
Wild Hogs

Doug Madsen: Woody, sorry I said you had ego issues.
Woody Stevens: Sorry I said you were a pussy.
Doug Madsen: You didn't call me a pussy.
Woody Stevens: Well, not to your face, but that's what I was thinking.

Wild Hogs
Wild Hogs

Maggie: You coming back through?
Dudley Frank: Maybe. A biker never knows. A week, a month.
[pauses]
Dudley Frank: Six days, ten hours, 27 minutes, give or take six minutes for wind resistance.

Wild Hogs
Wild Hogs

Doug Madsen: Well, what has your wife ever made us?
Bobby Davis: Hard.

Wild Hogs
Wild Hogs

Mother-in-Law: In my day, the women stayed home. Not the lazy men.
Bobby Davis: In your day, men were busy building pyramids! How long ago was that?

Wild Hogs
Wild Hogs

Dudley Frank: Thanks, Woody, I feel really safe with you.
Woody Stevens: I noticed that. If you ever lay your head on my back while riding bitch, I'll throw you into traffic!
Dudley Frank: I was just trying to keep the wind out of my face.
Woody Stevens: I felt you smell my neck!
Bobby

Davis: Did you smell that man's neck?
Dudley Frank: His cologne is fantastic. It's musky with an oaky finish like a... lawyer cowboy.
Bobby Davis: A lawyer cowboy?

Wild Hogs
Wild Hogs

[first lines]
Dudley Frank: [after getting a fist-tap from Woody and nearly wiping out] Whoa! Whoa! Oh! Man, oh, man. I almost lost it back there. I didn't know what was going on.
[hits a sign face first]

Wild Hogs
Wild Hogs

Woody Stevens: [a large yard is full of a bunch of leaves] Well go home, Toby! You make me sick!
Toby: I can't do this many leaves for $10!
[Woody kicks a pile of leaves]

Wild Hogs
Wild Hogs

Dudley Frank: The music moves me, but it moves me ugly.

Wild Hogs
Wild Hogs

Doug Madsen: You're the sheriff, aren't you going out there?
Charley: Hey, I took my law enforcement course on the internet! For arms training they just told us to play Doom!

Wild Hogs
Wild Hogs

Red: When we drink piss, we drink it cold!
Murdock: What?
Red: We don't drink piss!