The Martian
The Martian

Mark Watney: In the face of overwhelming odds, I'm left with only one option. I'm gonna have to science the shit out of this.

The Martian
The Martian

Mark Watney: I don't want to come off as arrogant here, but I'm the greatest botanist on this planet.

The Martian
The Martian

Mark Watney: They say once you grow crops somewhere, you have officially colonized it. So, technically, I colonized Mars. In your face, Neil Armstrong!

The Martian
The Martian

Mark Watney: I've been thinking about laws on Mars. There's an international treaty saying that no country can lay claim to anything that's not on Earth. By another treaty if you're not in any country's territory, maritime law aplies. So Mars is international waters. Now, NASA is an American non-military organization, it owns the Hab. But the second I walk outside I'm in

international waters. So Here's the cool part. I'm about to leave for the Schiaparelli Crater where I'm going to commandeer the Ares IV lander. Nobody explicitly gave me permission to do this, and they can't until I'm on board the Ares IV. So I'm going to be taking a craft over in international waters without permission, which by definition... makes me a pirate. Mark Watney: Space Pirate.

The Martian
The Martian

Mark Watney: [From deleted scene] Every human being has a basic instinct: to help each other out. If a hiker gets lost in the mountains, people will coordinate a search. If a train crashes, people will line up to give blood. If an earthquake levels a city, people all over the world will send emergency supplies. This is so fundamentally human that it's found in every culture

without exception. Yes, there are assholes who just don't care, but they're massively outnumbered by the people who do. ~ Mark Watney, The Martian

The Martian
The Martian

Mark Watney: I admit it's fatally dangerous, but I'd get to fly around like Iron Man.

The Martian
The Martian

Mark Watney: Fuck you Mars.

The Martian
The Martian

[last lines]
Mark Watney: At some point, everything's gonna go south on you... everything's going to go south and you're going to say, this is it. This is how I end. Now you can either accept that, or you can get to work. That's all it is. You just begin. You do the math. You solve one problem... and you solve the next one... and then the next. And If you solve enough

problems, you get to come home. All right, questions?

The Martian
The Martian

Mark Watney: Hi, I'm Mark Watney and I'm still alive... obviously.

The Martian
The Martian

Teddy Sanders: If we are going to have a secret project called "Elrond", then I want my code name to be "Glorfindel".

The Martian
The Martian

Mark Watney: [recording a video message] If the oxygenator breaks down, I'll suffocate. If the water reclaimer breaks down, I'll die of thirst. If the hab breaches, I'll just kind of implode. If none of those things happen, I'll eventually run out of food and starve to death. So, yeah... Yeah...

The Martian
The Martian

Mark Watney: [after trying to make water by burning hydrogen] So, yeah, I blew myself up. Best guess, I forgot to account for the excess oxygen that I've been exhaling when I did my calculations because I'm stupid. I'm gonna get back to work here just as soon as my ears stop ringing.

The Martian
The Martian

Mark Watney: I'm the first person to be alone on an entire planet.

The Martian
The Martian

Mark Watney: [after finding out the intercept distance is too far] Did you say 312? Yeah, I'll just wave to you guys as I go by.

The Martian
The Martian

Mark Watney: I've got to make a lot more water. The good thing is, I know the recipe: You take hydrogen, you add oxygen, and you burn. Now, I have hundreds of liters of unused hydrazine at the MDV. If I run the hydrazine over an iridium catalyst, it'll separate into N2 and H2. And then if I just direct the hydrogen into a small area and burn it. Luckily, in the history of

humanity, nothing bad has ever happened from lighting hydrogen on fire.

The Martian
The Martian

Mark Watney: It's a strange feeling. Everywhere I go, I'm the first. Step outside the rover? First guy ever to be there! Climb a hill? First guy to climb that hill! Kick a rock? That rock hadn't moved in a million years! I'm the first guy to drive long-distance on Mars. The first guy to spend more than thirty-one sols on Mars. The first guy to grow crops on Mars. First, first,

first!

The Martian
The Martian

Mark Watney: Mars will come to fear my botany powers.

The Martian
The Martian

Mark Watney: Tell Commander Lewis, disco sucks.

The Martian
The Martian

Vincent Kapoor: Mark, please watch your language. Everything you type is being broadcast live all over the world.
Mark Watney: Yeah?
[he proceeds to swear even more]
Vincent Kapoor: Oh my God...!

The Martian
The Martian

Annie Montrose: I mean, what are we gonna say, "Dear America, remember that astronaut we killed and had a really nice funeral for? Turns out he's alive and we left him on Mars. Our bad. Sincerely, NASA". I mean, do you realize the shit storm that is about to hit us?