The Italian Job Quotes

John Bridger: I feel so optimistic. How do you feel?
Charlie Croker: [shrugging] I'm fine.
John Bridger: Fine? You know what "fine" stands for, don't you?
Charlie Croker: Yeah, unfortunately.
John Bridger: Freaked out...
Charlie Croker: Insecure...

John Bridger: Neurotic...
Charlie Croker: And Emotional.
John Bridger: You see those columns behind you?
Charlie Croker: [looks behind him and sees the pillars] What about them?
John Bridger: That's where they used to string up thieves who felt fine.
Charlie

Croker: After you.

Left Ear: [observing the front gate to Steve's house. He sees guard dogs] Shit.
[Speaks into his wire]
Left Ear: This dude got dogs. I don't do dogs... I had a real bad experience, man.
Charlie Croker: [from their Netcom Cable van] What happened?
Left Ear: [speaking slowly to reiterate his point,

irritated] I had. A bad. Experience. Damn it. "I'm" deaf!

John Bridger: Charlie, there are two kinds of thieves in this world: The ones who steal to enrich their lives, and those who steal to define their lives. Don't be the latter. Makes you miss out on what's really important in this life.
Charlie Croker: What are you talking about, John? You've been a good father.
John Bridger: Sending

presents doesn't make you a good father. I've spent half my kid's life in prison. Don't get to be my age with nothing but this, Charlie. Find somebody you want to spend the rest of your life with, and hold onto her forever.

Lyle: [Handsome Rob approaches Becky, the cable technician, in the parking garage. Lyle watches, amazed] Are you kidding me? How does he do that? How do you do that? What are you saying?
[Lyle narrates the conversation with alternating Handsome Rob and ditzy female voices]
Lyle: [speaking as Handsome Rob] Hey, how are you?

Lyle: [speaking as Becky] Oh, I'm good!
Lyle: [as Handsome Rob] Nice to meet you. I'm Handsome Rob. And you are?
Lyle: [as Becky] Oh, my name's Becky, but it's written on my shirt!
Lyle: [as Handsome Rob] Listen, I'm gonna need your shirt, and your truck.
Lyle: [as Becky] Perfect! I'll

give them both to you. Would you like my virginity as well?
Lyle: [as Handsome Rob] If it's on the menu.
Lyle: [as Becky] Oh, you're so witty! Why don't you take advantage of me?
Lyle: [as Handsome Rob] Yeah, you're not too bright, are you?
Lyle: [as Becky] No.
Lyle: [as Handsome

Rob] Perfect!

Steve: [in a restaurant] Don't talk about right or wrong with me, man, because I don't give a shit. Okay? You got your cards, I got my cards. We made our play, and I came out on top. Okay? Now, if you want to start the game up again, that's fine with me. What is your play here, really? Come on, what do you? What do you think? You'll try to take out my guards, right? I have five of

them that you don't know about. You'll try to have Lyle hack the system? I'll change it again tomorrow morning. What was your final move? I mean. Have Bridger's daughter come in and try to crack my safe? That's very poetic and all, but I just don't see it. I don't think she'll get anywhere near it.
Charlie Croker: Same old Steve huh? Always thinking defensively. That's why

you're always number two.

[about John]
Charlie Croker: Just because he was around me more doesn't mean he wasn't thinking about you all the time.
Stella Bridger: [Sniffling] It would be nice if it was true.
Charlie Croker: It is true. He always regretted not having been a good enough father to you, Stella.
Stella Bridger: How do

you know that?
Charlie Croker: Because he told me.

[Lyle arrives on his motorcycle. He has trouble on the bike, though]
Charlie Croker: [when meeting Charlie's crew for the first time] That's Lyle. He's my computer genius. You know he's who really invented Napster? At least that's how Lyle tells it. Said Shawn Fanning was his roommate in college and stole his idea.
[We see a flashback of Fanning stealing a Floppy

disk from a napping Lyle]
Charlie Croker: I think it's his first time riding that bike, though.
Lyle: Hey.
[Lyle falls over]
Charlie Croker: You okay?
Lyle: Yeah.
[a car drives up behind him]
Charlie Croker: That's Left Ear. Demolition and explosives. When he was

ten, he put one too many M-80s in the toilet bowl.
[Cuts to the exterior of a toilet stall. Suddenly the door bursts open from an explosion. The toilet is spraying a fountain of water up]
Kid On Left: Damn, that was cool. How did you do that?
Young Left Ear: What?
Kid On Right: How did you do that?
Young

Left Ear: WHAT?
Kid On Right: I said, "how did you do that?"
Young Left Ear: What?
[Flashback to present]
Charlie Croker: Lost the hearing in his right ear. He's been blowing stuff up ever since.
[a car zooms in from behind Charlie and Stella]
Charlie Croker: Handsome Rob. Premier

wheel man. Once drove all the way from Los Angeles just so he could set the record for longest freeway chase.
[Cuts to Rob being chased down the freeway by a massive armada of police cars]
Charlie Croker: You know he got 110 love letters sent to his jail cell from women who saw him on the news?
[We see two women hanging a banner on a bridge saying "We heart

you, Rob."]

Charlie Croker: A police boat can get from the station to our position in seven. That means you've got four minutes to work your magic.
John Bridger: What? You told me ten and you said that I would have five.
Charlie Croker: [slightly panicking] When?
[John smiles and then chuckles]
Charlie Croker:

[sighs with relief] Do not be messing with me right now, okay? I will kick your ass.

[as they are dangling from under the road way, after Left Ear's gotten all the explosives in place, and is about to insert the detonater]
Left Ear: Just give me a minute.
Charlie Croker: [impatiently] NOW?
Left Ear: I'm about to insert this detonator tube, and if the brass touches the sides, we'll both be the last people we

ever see.
Charlie Croker: [suddenly looking very nervous] Take all the time you need.
Left Ear: [after a long pause] Hey, Charlie?
Charlie Croker: What?
Left Ear: [pause] I love you, man.
Charlie Croker: I love you too.