Billy McMahon: Whoa, guys, where's all this hostility coming from?
Stuart: Where do you think it's coming from, you big tree. Two fifths of our team is made up of two old guys who don't know shit.
Nick Campbell: Geez, Yo-Yo, did you get beat up a lot in school?
Yo-Yo Santos: I was homeschooled by my mom.
Billy McMahon: Did you get beat up a lot in homeschool?
Billy McMahon: For you this is like teaching a little kid the alphabet, right?
Headphones: No, actually it's like teaching a kid a letter. Just one letter.
Billy McMahon: Yeah. Yeah, your strong point would not be communicating to humans.
Headphones: I know.
Billy McMahon: No, we can't talk about it later. The future doesn't know later.
Nick Campbell: All the future is, is later. That's literally what the future is. It's later. What are you talking about?
Billy McMahon: Great big world out there, my friend. Just three inches up, I beg you.
Stuart: [Notices the topless waitress] Oh... wow.
[Waitress deep throats Stuarts finger]
Stuart: Holy... shit, that's deep.
Lyle: Can we talk about the on the line thing for a minute?
Stuart: Quick interjection: When you keep saying 'on the line,' you do mean online?
Nick Campbell: Stuart. Don't do that. You don't do that to a man. He's got a million-dollar idea right here.
Stuart: A billion-dollar idea?
Nick Campbell: Even better. Let him flow!
Kevin, Matress Salesman: [approaching Nick and Billy] How's it going, Gossip Girls? CW just called - you're canceled.
Neha: I'm sorry, almost? Or you either done or you not, you can't be almost pregnant.
Stuart: Yeah. Hey, she would know guys.
Neha: Why don't you Google asshole, asshole?
Nick Campbell: Wh-Why did you bring me over to introduce me to this guy? It's like he was your best friend. You introduced me to Hitler.
Billy McMahon: Here's the deal. I'm pretty terrific on the phones. I could sell prosciutto to a rabbi. And I have.
Neha: What the fuck was that?
Yo-Yo Santos: I was punishing myself for my inferior performance.
Billy McMahon: Nick? Would I be wrong to call you my brother?
Nick Campbell: Of course not, I'd do anything for my little show pony. Look at me, anything.
Billy McMahon: I need you to ice my balls for me.
Yo-Yo Santos: My mother hits harder than you!
Nick Campbell: For whatever it's worth, your imagination is so wild, reality's gonna be a breeze, if not a letdown.
Billy McMahon: [to Kevin] Me and you are the same height.
Kevin, Matress Salesman: [shakes head dismissively] We're not the same height. We're not the same height. I'm handsome tall - you're the type of tall where, you walk through the airport, people stop what they're eating and look at you. You're like a freak.
