The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

[Will's father came back into town, and then lied to Will about being around more and left. Phillip is trying to comfort him]
Will: Hey, you no what, you ain't got to do nothing, Uncle Phil. You know, ain't like I'm still five years old, you know? Ain't like I'm gonna be sitting every night asking my mom 'when's daddy coming home?' You know? Who needs him? Hey, he wasn't

there to teach me how to shoot my first basket, but I learned it, didn't I? And I got pretty damn good at it too, didn't I, Uncle Phil?
Phillip Banks: Yeah, you did.
Will: Got to do my first date without him, right? I learned how to ride, I learned how to shave, I learned how to fight without him. I had *fourteen* great birthdays without him; he

never even sent me a damn card. The hell with him!
[pause]
Will: I didn't need him then, I won't need him now.
Phillip Banks: Will...
Will: No, you know what, Uncle Phil? I'm gonna get through college without him, I'm gonna get a great job without him, I'm gonna marry me a beautiful honey and I'm having a whole bunch of

kids. I'm gonna be a better father than he ever was. And I sure as hell don't need him for that, 'cause there ain't a damn thing he can teach me about how to love my kids!
[long pause; he's crying]
Will: How come he don't want me, man?

The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

[the theme song]
Will: [singing] Now this is a story all about how / my life got twisted, turned upside down, / and I'd like to take a minute, just sit right there, / I'll tell you how I became the Prince of a town called Bel-Air... / In West Philadelphia, born and raised / on the playground where I spent most of my days / Chilling out, maxing, relaxing all cool / and all

shooting some b-ball outside of the school / when a couple of guys, they were up to no good / started making trouble in my neighbourhood / I got in one little fight, and my mom got scared / and said "You're moving with your Auntie and Uncle in Bel-Air!" / I whistled for a cab, and when it came near / the license plate said "Fresh" and had a dice in the mirror / If anything, I could say that this

cab was rare / But I thought: "Nah, forget it. Yo homes, to Bel-air!" / I pulled up to a house about seven or eight / and I yelled to the cabby "Yo homes, smell you later!" / Looked at my kingdom, I was finally there / to sit on my throne as the Prince of Bel-Air!

The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

[Trying to hit on a girl]
Will: Hey baby, I noticed you noticing me and I just wanted to put you on notice that I noticed you too.

The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

Will: Man, I love Halloween! It's the only time of year when a black man can wear a mask at night and not get arrested!

The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

Will: Oh my God, Carlton! What's that hideous thing growing out of your neck?
Carlton: Where? Where?
Will: Ah, never mind. It's just your head.

The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

Carlton Banks: The police were doing their job. We were detained a couple hours, and dad came and got us out. The system worked.
Will: I hope you like that system, because you're gonna be seeing a lot more of it in your life.
Carlton Banks: Not if I bring a map.
Will: Man, you don't get it, do you? A map is not gonna help you. Neither is your

Glee Club, or your fancy Bel-Air address, or who your daddy is. They don't care about any of that. They only see one thing.

The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

Jazz: I'm starvin'. When do we eat here?
Phillip Banks: *We* eat here later, *you* eat here never.
Jazz: [looking Phillip up and down] Looks like *you* eat here *often*.

The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

Girl: Excuse me, what's a nine-letter word for "Terrific?"
Will: That's easy: "Will Smith."

The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

Phillip Banks: Geoffrey, bring me my tools.
Geoffrey: Do you mean your knife and fork, sir?

The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

Will: Well, you know what they say about guys with big feet.
Ashley Banks: [smiling] No, what?
Will: [Uncle Phil stares angrily at Will] T-they say, "Damn, those are some big feet"!

The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

Will: [to Carlton] Could you drop me off at the beach? No, scratch that. Drop me off a couple of blocks from the beach. The honeys will get nervous if they see me with a midget.

The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

Phillip Banks: Will, going to college isn't just about finding a job. It's about finding yourself, and finding what you do best that makes a contribution to the community. It shouldn't be just about money.
Will: You really believe that, Uncle Phil?
Phillip Banks: Yes, son, I really do.
Will: Then how do you

explain becoming a lawyer?

The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

Will: Hey Hil', what's so funny?
Hilary: Oh, Carlton just told a joke.
Will: No, Hilary, Carlton is a joke.

The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

Will: Girl, you look so good, I would marry your brother just to get in your family.

The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

Geoffrey: I'm too ashamed to talk about it, it's better if I show you...
[puts in tape]
Geoffrey: [Will jumps up, excited]
Will: You did a porno movie?
Hilary: Eww...

The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

Carlton: If it looks like a duck, sounds like a duck, and smells like a duck, what is it?
Will: Your prom date?

The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

Will: Girl, if God created anything less beautiful than you, I hope He kept it for Himself.

The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

Phillip Banks: [Phillip and Dr. Hoover are in a fight] Dr. Hoover, the school where you got your degree, did you find it on the back of a matchbook?
Dr. Hoover: Penn State, my brother.
Phillip Banks: Really? Good school. I was thinking of going there if my scholarship to Princeton, Yale, Warton, and Talladega Tech had fallen through!


Dr. Hoover: Impressive, you must of been quite an athlete in your thinner days.
Phillip Banks: Hey, hey, lets stick to the topic okay?
Dr. Hoover: Fine. Speaking as a doctor, I think your daughter should be heavily sedated and immediately institutionalized.
Phillip Banks: Well speaking as a lawyer, I

can only say that your daughter fits the criminal profile to a T, right down to the sloping forehead, and the wide jaws suitable for grains and small rodents!
Dr. Hoover: I think you have her confused with your moma!
Will: [Phillip punches Dr. Hoover and knocks him down] That's it Uncle Phil, your grounded!
[to Dr. Hoover]

Will: You know, I'd be happy to perscribe something for that.

The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

Will: Ain't no thang but a chicken wing.

The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

Hilary: Maybe I sometimes say things that are selfish and self-centered, but that's who I am, dammit.