The Constant Gardener
The Constant Gardener

Tessa Quayle: I thought you spies knew everything.
Tim Donohue: Only God knows everything. He works for Mossad.

The Constant Gardener
The Constant Gardener

Sir Bernard Pellegrin: Do you no good to go poking around under rocks, Justin. Some very nasty things live under rocks, especially in foreign gardens.

The Constant Gardener
The Constant Gardener

Lorbeer: I only give the food to the women, Mr. Black. Women make the homes, men just make wars... and hooch. Adam was God's first draft - He got it right with Eve. Tell that to your readers, Mr. Black.

The Constant Gardener
The Constant Gardener

Justin Quayle: Arnold Bluhm is gay, Bernard. Gay men don't rape their women friends.
Sir Bernard Pellegrin: [bemused] Well, I've known one or two very savage queens in my time.

The Constant Gardener
The Constant Gardener

Arthur "Ham" Hammond: So who has got away with murder? Not, of course, the British government. They merely covered up, as one does, the offensive corpses. Though not literally. That was done by person or persons unknown. So who has committed murder? Not, of course, the highly respectable firm of KDH Pharmaceutical, which has enjoyed record profits this quarter, and has now

licensed ZimbaMed of Harare, to continue testing Dypraxa in Africa. No, there are no murders in Africa. Only regrettable deaths. And from those deaths we derive the benefits of civilization, benefits we can afford so easily... because those lives were bought so cheaply.

The Constant Gardener
The Constant Gardener

Tim Donohue: I can get you out of Kenya. it's one of the few things we still do well. Drop it now, and it's over. I'll make sure word gets to the right people. Go home... and live
Justin Quayle: But I don't have a home, Tim. Tessa was my home.

The Constant Gardener
The Constant Gardener

Policeman No. 1: For a diplomat you're not a very good liar.
Justin Quayle: Well, I haven't risen very high.

The Constant Gardener
The Constant Gardener

[Aid workers are being airlifted from a village ahead of band of raiders. Justin brings aboard a local village girl]
Jonah Andika: I'm sorry, I can't take the girl.
Justin Quayle: I'm not leaving her!
Jonah Andika: We're only allowed evacuate aid workers.
Justin Quayle: To HELL with what's allowed! I'll

-look, how much you want for her?
[pulls cash from pocket]
Justin Quayle: There's 800 dollars.
Jonah Andika: Don't embarrass me! You can't buy this. The rules are made for good reason. Please.
Justin Quayle: This is a child's life! There are no rules to cover that!
Jonah Andika: Look, there are

thousands of them out there. I can't make an exception for this one child
Justin Quayle: Yes, but THIS is one we can help!

The Constant Gardener
The Constant Gardener

Justin Quayle: [Tessa tells Justin to slow down, wanting to drive a woman, her baby, and her brother who are walking 40 kilometers back to his home] We can't involve ourselves in their lives, Tessa.
Tessa Quayle: Why.
Justin Quayle: Be reasonable. There are millions of people, they all need help. It's what the agencies are here for.


Tessa Quayle: Yeah, but these are three people that WE can help.

The Constant Gardener
The Constant Gardener

[last lines]
Justin Quayle: [whispering] Tessa...

The Constant Gardener
The Constant Gardener

Tessa Quayle: It's an outrageous thing. It's almost if it's -it's a marriage of convenience- and the only thing it's going to produce is dead offspring.

The Constant Gardener
The Constant Gardener

Birgit: [on drug trials] Put $50,000 in the right hands and you can test battery acid as skin lotion.

The Constant Gardener
The Constant Gardener

Lorbeer: Big pharmaceuticals are right up there with the arms dealers.

The Constant Gardener
The Constant Gardener

Tessa Quayle: Sorry, I've just got one question: Whose map is Britain using when it completely ignores the United Nations and decides to invade Iraq?
Tessa Quayle: Or do you think it's more diplomatic to bend the will of a superpower and politely take part in Vietnam the Sequel?

The Constant Gardener
The Constant Gardener

Justin Quayle: Your life is your own. That was always our agreement.
Tessa Quayle: No, no, no. The agreement was, that my *work* was going to be my own. That's what makes me who I am.

The Constant Gardener
The Constant Gardener

Justin Quayle: Well, ah, I can't speak for Sir Bernard...
Tessa Quayle: Oh, I thought that was why you were here?
[lecture audience laughs]
Justin Quayle: Well, diplomats have to go where they're sent.
Tessa Quayle: So do labradors.
Justin Quayle: [Smiling] Ouch... Well, I think

Mr. Bernard would argue that when peaceful means are exhausted...
Tessa Quayle: Exhausted? Mr.Quayle, they're not exactly exhausted, they're just lying in the way of the tanks!

The Constant Gardener
The Constant Gardener

Sir Kenneth "Kenny" Curtiss: You're what passes for James Bond around here. Get Her Majesty's Secret Service to pull a few things. It's what you spies do, isn't it?
Tim Donohue: Is it? Never really sure what it is we do.
[putts golf ball towards hole]
Sir Kenneth "Kenny" Curtiss: [Angrily kicks Tim's ball aside] Don't even

think about bullying me, old man. I'm not a member of your gentleman's club. I don't have to play by the rules.
Tim Donohue: So it would seem.
[looks at ball]
Tim Donohue: Let's call that one "in". shall we?

The Constant Gardener
The Constant Gardener

[first lines]
Justin Quayle: Oh, thank you Arnold. I... I can manage that. But I still don't see why you couldn't wait a couple of weeks. Why go all the way up to Loki?
Tessa Quayle: Well, we want to hear Grace Makanga speak, and she won't be coming to Nairobi.

The Constant Gardener
The Constant Gardener

Tim Donohue: [after a car chase through the desert] Who did you think I was?
Justin Quayle: Fuck you, Donohue! This is bandit country.

The Constant Gardener
The Constant Gardener

Sandy Woodrow: Don't try to play detective.