Bill Murray: It's 'cause I'm white, isn't it?
Michael Jordan: No. Larry's white, so what?
Bill Murray: Larry's not white. Larry's clear.
Michael Jordan: Whatever you do, don't forget my North Carolina shorts.
Daffy Duck: Your shorts? From college?
Michael Jordan: I wore them under my Chicago Bulls uniform every game.
Looney Tunes: Eeewwww!
Michael Jordan: Hey! I washed them after every game!
Sylvester: Sure...
Michael Jordan: I did!
Michael Jordan: What's going on here?
Bugs: Why Michael, l thought you'd never ask! You see, these aliens from outer space want to make us slaves in their theme park. They're little. So we challenged them to a basketball game. Eh, what do we care? They're little, so we challenge them to a basketball game! But then they show up and they ain't so little,
Bugs: [shouts] they're huge! We need to beat these guys, 'cause they're talking about slavery! They'll make us do stand-up, the same jokes every night every night for all eternity! We're going to be locked up like wild animals and then trotted out to perform for a bunch of lowbrow, bug-eyed, bad-headed, humor-challenged aliens! Eh, what I'm trying to say is...
Bugs: [screams] WE NEED YOUR HEEEEEEEEEEEEELP!
Michael Jordan: Yeah, but I'm a baseball player now!
Bugs: Right.
[Bugs gets out the rabbit skull]
Bugs: And I'm a Shakespearean actor.
[Bugs throws the skull away]
Daffy: Just how did you get here, anyway?
Bill Murray: Producer's a friend of mine. He sent a Teamster to drop me off.
Daffy: Aha. Well, that's the way it goes.
Daffy Duck: You think she's got enough toys?
Bugs: Speaking of toys, remember those mugs and t-shoits and lunchboxes with our pictures on 'em?
Daffy Duck: Yeah.
Bugs: You ever see any money from all that stuff?
Daffy Duck: Hah, not a cent!
Bugs: Hmm... me
neither.
Daffy Duck: [sighs] It's a crying shame. We gotta get new agents, we're gettin' screwed!
Bugs: You wanna play a little one on one, doll?
Lola Bunny: [angrily, with fire in her eyes] Doll?
Bugs: [with hearts over his head] Uh huh.
Lola Bunny: On the court, *Bugs*.
Bugs: Sure.
Tweety Bird: Ooo, she's hot.
[Tweety touches his rear and steam
appears with a hissing sound]
Lola Bunny: [starts dribbling] Ready?
Bugs: Yes.
[Lola gets past Bugs]
Bugs: I got it, I got it!
[Lola spins around him, he winds up into a knot and she makes a basket]
Michael Jordan: The girl's got skills.
Bugs: [Lola comes over to
him seductively] Yes?
Lola Bunny: Don't ever call me "doll".
[Lola blows her ears out of her face]
Bugs: Check.
Lola Bunny: [as she is leaving] Nice playin' with ya.
Michael Jordan: Very smooth.
Bugs: Ahh, she's obviously nuts about me.
Michael
Jordan: Obviously.
[Stan prepares to take a picture of Michael after the hole in one]
Stan Podalak: Let me get a picture of this. All right, here we go, you want to smile. You reach in, you reach in for the ball and then you smile. OK?
Michael Jordan: Yes.
Stan Podalak: And you think this is good.
Michael Jordan: Just
take the picture!
Stan Podalak: All right.
[a rope comes out of the hole and pulls Michael in]
Bill Murray: [after a pause] What kind of camera is that?
Stan Podalak: It's just a
Bill Murray: [interrupts] Would you not point it at me please and close the lens cap?
Stan
Podalak: I didn't do anything! I just took...
Larry Bird: Where'd he go?
[last lines]
Larry Bird: What's the matter, Bill?
Bill Murray: [after seeing Michael's fancy return to the NBA] Larry, that could have been me.
Larry Bird: Would you get over it? It's over. It's done with. You can't play.
Bill Murray: Okay.
Bill Murray: [voice breaking with
emotion] Let's go, Bulls!