70 Shrek the Third Quotes (2024)

Shrek the Third

Prince Charming: You! You can't lie! So tell me puppet... where... is... Shrek?
Pinocchio: Uh. Hmm, well, uh, I don't know where he's not
Prince Charming: You're telling me you don't know where Shrek is?
Pinocchio: It wouldn't be inaccurate to assume that I couldn't exactly not say that it is or isn't almost

partially incorrect.
Prince Charming: So you do know where he is!
Pinocchio: On the contrary. I'm possibly more or less not definitely rejecting the idea that in no way with any amount of uncertainty that I undeniably
Prince Charming: Stop it!
Pinocchio: ...do or do not know where he shouldn't probably

be, if that indeed wasn't where he isn't. Even if he wasn't at where I knew he was
[Pigs and Gingerbread Man begin singing]
Pinocchio: That'd mean I'd really have to know where he wasn't.

Shrek the Third

Donkey: Alright people, let's do this thing. Go Team Dynamite!
Pinocchio: But I thought we agreed we'd go by the name Team Super-cool.
Gingerbread Man: As I recall, it was Team Awesome.
Wolf: I voted for Team Alpha Wolf Squadron.
Donkey: Alright, alright, alright. From henceforth, we're

all to be known as Team Alpha Super Awesome Cool Dynamite Wolf Squadron.

Shrek the Third

Snow White: Right! Ladies, assume the position!
[Sleeping Beauty falls asleep, Snow White lies down in her coffin pose, and Cinderella seats herself on the floor gazing dreamily into space]
Princess Fiona: What are you doing?
Sleeping Beauty: [Snaps awake] Waiting to be rescued.
[falls back asleep]

Shrek the Third

Shrek: I can't believe I'm going to be a father. How did this happened?
Puss in Boots: Allow me to explain. When a man falls in love with a woman, he is overcome with powerful urges...
Shrek: I know how it happened! I just can't believe it.
Donkey: [to Puss] How does it happen?

Shrek the Third

Shrek: Listen, Artie. Eh, if you think this whole mad scene ain't dope, I feel you, dude. I mean, I'm not trying to get up in your grill or raise your roof or whatever, but what I am screamin' is, yo, check out this kazing thazing, bazaby! I mean if it doesn't groove or what I'm sayin' ain't straight trippin' just say, "Oh, no you di'n't! You know, you're gettin' on my last

nerve." And then I'll know it's... then I'll - I'll know it's wack!
[Shrek gets hit in the face with a branch that Artie had evidently pulled back]
Artie: Somebody help! I've been kidnapped by a monster who's trying to relate to me!
[knocks on the door of a tree incessantly]
Artie: Knock, knock. Hello! Hello!
[a holograph of

Merlin emits from a crystal a few feet adjacent to the door]
Merlin: Greetings, cosmic children of the universe. Welcome to my serenity circle. Please leave all bad vibes outside the healing vortex. Now prepare-
[the holograph cuts off. Merlin comes out the front door and says]
Merlin: I knew I should have got that warranty.

Shrek the Third

Snow White: Rapunzel, Rapunzel. Let down your golden extension.

Shrek the Third

Donkey: [Reading Sign] Wer-sestor-shiray? Sounds fancy!
Shrek: No, it's Worcestershire.
Donkey: Like the Sauce? Spicy!

Shrek the Third

Cinderella: [after hearing the Puss and Donkey speak after changing bodies] I don't get it.
Snow White: The cat turned into a little horse that smells like feet. What's to get?

Shrek the Third

Puss in Boots: [after switching bodies with Donkey] Ye haw.
Donkey: Oh, you'll learn to control that!
[Snickers]

Shrek the Third

Puss in Boots: How can you be a reciever of the wedgies, when you are clearly not a wearer of the underpants?
Donkey: Let's just say some things are better left unsaid.

Shrek the Third

Snow White: I'm sorry but this isn't working for me.
Sleeping Beauty: It's not like your attitude is helping, Snow.
Snow White: You're just jealous that I was voted fairest in the land.
Rapunzel: Oh, you mean in that rigged election?
Snow White: You're one to talk. "Rapunzel, Rapunzel,

let down thy golden extensions."

Shrek the Third

Sleeping Beauty: Who dat?

Shrek the Third

Shrek: Excuse me; can you ladies tell me where to find...
Cheerleader: Ugh, totally ew-eth.
Cheerleader: Totally.

Shrek the Third

Cheerleader: Ahem. This is like totally embarrassing, but my friend Tiffany thinkest thou vex her so soothly and she thought perchance thou would want to ask her to the homecoming dance or something.
Shrek: Excuse me?
Cheerleader: It's like whatever. She's just totally into college guys and mythical creatures and stuff.

Shrek the Third

Captain Hook: [looming over a young boy threateningly with his hook] Well, well, Peter Pan!
Mother: His name's not Peter!
Captain Hook: Shut it, Wendy.

Shrek the Third

Puss in Boots: [after Shrek throws Donkey out the door] Some people just don't understand boundaries.
[Shrek then throws Puss out. Puss does his cat screech, then the eyes]

Shrek the Third

Donkey: What in the shestershire is this place?
Shrek: Well, my stomach's aching and my palms just got sweaty. Must be a high school.

Shrek the Third

Puss in Boots: If he were real, could I do this?
[Digs claws into Shrek's leg, Shrek tries to hold in his pain]
Shrek: Ah! Oww!
Donkey: Or this?
[Kicks Shrek's other leg, Shrek moans]
Shrek: If it were real, that would have been agonizingly painful.
Donkey: Now watch this!

Shrek: [Restrains Donkey and Puss] That's quite enough, boys!