Frank Serpico: You know what they say, don't you? If you love a man's garden, you gotta love the man!
Frank Serpico: The reality is that we do not wash our own laundry - it just gets dirtier.
[Given a detective's gold badge]
Frank Serpico: What's this for? For bein' an honest cop? Hmm? Or for being stupid enough to get shot in the face? You tell them that they can shove it.
Frank Serpico: How come all your friends are on their way to bein' someone else?
Frank Serpico: You stupid fuck! You didn't know me? You fired without a warning, without a fucking brain in your head? Oh, shit. If I buy one, motherfucker, I ain't buying it from you.
Frank Serpico: I'm a marked man in this department. For what?
District Attorney Tauber: I've already arranged a transfer for ya'.
Frank Serpico: To where? China?
Tom Keough: Now I ain't sayin' who. They just said ya'... ya' couldn't be trusted, you know?
Frank Serpico: 'Cause I don't take money, right?
Tom Keough: Frank, let's face it. Who can trust a cop who don't take money?
Gun shop owner: That gun takes a 14 shot clip. You expecting an army?
Frank Serpico: No. Just a division.
Larry: Leslie is a mindfucker.
Frank Serpico: You gotta be kidding. I didn't know that. What's a mindfucker?
Larry: Well, it's a chick who digs intellectual types and super bright guys.
Frank Serpico: Oh, she's very perceptive.
Leslie Lane: [feeling his gun as she's riding on the back of his motorcycle] What'ya need a gun for?
Frank Serpico: Didya ever hear of Barnum and Bailey?
Leslie Lane: Yeah.
Frank Serpico: Well, I'm their lion tamer.
Rudy Corsaro: [being arrested by Serpico, who's having trouble finding his badge] Where have they been hidin' you, kid?
Frank Serpico: Wouldn't you like to know?
Frank Serpico: [Lombardo has fallen] You okay?
Insp. Lombardo: Yeah... makes me feel like a cop again.
Frank Serpico: You know, you're pretty fuckin' weird for a cop.
Bob Blair: Me? What about *you*? You're a fucking hippie!
Cop: Say it isn't so, Serpico.
Bob Blair: [to Frank] Who the fuck do you think you are, you son of a bitch? You think you have it bad just because those bastards won't play ball?
Tom Keough: Drop your cocks and grab your socks!
