Never trust sheep.
I'm going to buy some green bananas because by the time I get home they'll be ripe.
The sky, the sky beyond the door is blue.
I'm convinced to do improv. All you have to do is listen to what people are saying to you, and then just add more information to what they've just said. That's all there is to improv, but it's the hardest thing to do.
The first rule to living in America is 'Stop tap dancing, you fool!'.
You know, I've got a confession to make myself. I'm not really a priest, I've just got my shirt on backwards.
Never interrupt me when I'm eating a banana.
If I were like your mother, I would be a woman.
If I could rap, that would be a sensation, but I can't, you see, I'm just a Caucasian.
I'm Jim Phillips, I have multiple personalities. I'm also a skindiver, a puppeteer, and I was the tenth president of the United States.
I can't sprinkle sprinkles on. I lose control when I have sprinkles. I'm shaky. I still remember the great sprinkle accident of 1982.
Back off or the lizard gets it!
I'd rather drive the yellow brick road, you wouldn't happen to know of a rental car place around.
Drew's a funny guy. Because anything he gets into, he gets in 100%. Even when we were doing 'The Drew Carey Show,' he got into bowling, and suddenly he's phoning up pros for tips and carrying around 3 balls. It's just how he does it.
If I were a man with gills, I would be a fish!
If I were as much of a man as my woman, I'd be my wife.
If I were but a man who would be tall, I would be me.
That is raw dough. Never eat raw dough. They can make worms in your tummy. Worms in your tummy.
What do I do when we're not taping? Sit in a dark room and refine my plans for someday ruling Earth from a blimp. And chess.
When it comes to making love, I may not be the best, but I'm damn gouda.
