Ralphie May
Ralphie May

If we were all sitting around as different races and as different religions, if you were a real friend of these people, you would bust on them all.

Ralphie May
Ralphie May

I don't just live in a bubble in Los Angeles. I'm on the road all the time. I say hello to people everywhere. That way, you get to see what despair is around the holidays. People are making terrible choices: Do I have heat in the winter or food on the table? Decisions between filling the gas tank or buying a gift for a kid.

Ralphie May
Ralphie May

If people get their feelings hurt from jokes, then they are too delicate to be in society.

Ralphie May
Ralphie May

I've had people hate me for my appearance. I think it gets me a certain level of empathy with the audience. If I was white and handsome and privileged, I probably couldn't talk about what I talk about because people wouldn't believe that I have empathy or I could be evenhanded and objective. It's strange.

Ralphie May
Ralphie May

I want to raise awareness about evils perpetuated on American citizens by other American citizens.

Ralphie May
Ralphie May

People have been calling me names and setting me back my whole life. And with every fight it's just given me more fuel to my fire and in doing so I've become a success.

Ralphie May
Ralphie May

I live in a dangerous part of Los Angeles. It's called... Los Angeles.

Ralphie May
Ralphie May

I love what I do. I do what I love. I'm honest about it!

Ralphie May
Ralphie May

I'm not your usual cup of tea.

Ralphie May
Ralphie May

When somebody's different, it's so easy to dismiss what people say because of what they look like. They really want to judge the book by its cover.

Ralphie May
Ralphie May

The people I make fun of most are white people. They're the dumbest ones. They really are.

Ralphie May
Ralphie May

I'm so Southern that I'm related to myself. I'm actually my own cousin.

Ralphie May
Ralphie May

The iPhone rules, but it does everything but get a call, you know? I can't tell you how many times my wife has been madder at me because cell phone coverage dropped and she thought I hung up on her.

Ralphie May
Ralphie May

We are all fingers on the same hand. We may not look alike, but we are all needed.

Ralphie May
Ralphie May

There's a big difference between being racist and racially insensitive.

Ralphie May
Ralphie May

I've got one foot in the grave and another on a banana peel.

Ralphie May
Ralphie May

I'm a fan of old vaudeville theaters.

Ralphie May
Ralphie May

I grew up in a little town in Arkansas called Clarksville and it was a weird existence, you know? I grew up white trash; we had holes in our walls.

Ralphie May
Ralphie May

My audience has accepted me for a long time as, you know, not a fat comedian but a comedian who happens to be fat. That's a huge difference.

Ralphie May
Ralphie May

Atlanta is interesting. You have high education rates but there are plenty of regular folks. People have degrees but chop wood on weekends.