Patton Oswalt
Patton Oswalt

So when you spot violence, or bigotry, or intolerance or fear or just garden-variety misogyny, hatred or ignorance, just look it in the eye and think, 'The good outnumber you, and we always will.'

Patton Oswalt
Patton Oswalt

I'm still very much an atheist, except that I don't necessarily see religion as being a bad thing. So, that's a weird thing that I'm struggling with that seems to be offending both atheists and people that are religious.

Patton Oswalt
Patton Oswalt

If you hit a midget on the head with a stick, he turns into 40 gold coins.

Patton Oswalt
Patton Oswalt

I fantasize and idealize myself as Bugs Bunny, but I know deep down I'm Daffy Duck.

Patton Oswalt
Patton Oswalt

I had a romance novel inside me, but I paid three sailors to beat it out if me with steel pipes.

Patton Oswalt
Patton Oswalt

I haven't sworn off Facebook. I'm on Facebook. There's a fan page on Facebook that I will update, but I'm on there myself under a pseudonym, because there were a lot of people able to private-message me on Facebook, and it was getting really weird.

Patton Oswalt
Patton Oswalt

It wasn't until I went to college and met different people from different areas of life - and then went to San Francisco and met people who really knew who the hell they were - that I kind of caught up in a hurry.

Patton Oswalt
Patton Oswalt

George Bush is not stupid. He's evil. OK? There's a huge difference between stupid and evil.

Patton Oswalt
Patton Oswalt

I think right now is the best time for stand-up, ever. I sincerely do.

Patton Oswalt
Patton Oswalt

I think I realized it was an art form at the beginning, but it took me a really long time before I was able to view what I was performing myself as an art form.

Patton Oswalt
Patton Oswalt

If Kevin James or Paul Giamatti drop weight, I'm done. I don't want to be the last pudge out there.

Patton Oswalt
Patton Oswalt

The Kentucky Fried Chicken corporation made a bobble head of me and sent it to my management. No card, nothing.

Patton Oswalt
Patton Oswalt

Like, my feelings on religion are starting to morph. I'm still very much an atheist, except that I don't necessarily see religion as being a bad thing. So, that's a weird thing that I'm struggling with that seems to be offending both atheists and people that are religious.

Patton Oswalt
Patton Oswalt

90% of every art form is garbage - dance and stand-up, painting and music. Focus on the 10% that's good, suck it up, and drive on.

Patton Oswalt
Patton Oswalt

I've gotten very cynical and kind of anhedonic about all the things I have to do to get to do comedy: all the travel, hotels, and airports.

Patton Oswalt
Patton Oswalt

I have to drink this much to be as unfunny as you.

Patton Oswalt
Patton Oswalt

Doing 'Young Adult' was really reassuring to me in a lot of ways. It confirmed a lot of suspicions I had about great actors.

Patton Oswalt
Patton Oswalt

I remember, when 9/11 went down, my reaction was, 'Well, I've had it with humanity.' But I was wrong.

Patton Oswalt
Patton Oswalt

I think the kind of person that gravitates toward New York is a person that's not so much focused on controlling exactly how they appear and how they exit. They're more fascinated with the process.

Patton Oswalt
Patton Oswalt

Beyond any role that I ever had, really early on as a stand-up, I would see actors decide to try it and they would bomb miserably. What I realized was that stand-up, acting and writing are all their own disciplines.