Being happy is a revolutionary act; I think it spreads, like ripples in a pond.
Each morning and night I get down on my knees and thank God for my life and ask Him to make me grateful all the time instead of just most of the time.
The only real benefit of being famous is being recognized by head waiters and getting good tables at restaurants. The rest is part ego trip and part inconvenience.
In '08, Barrack Obama was famously elected president. Even though I'd supported McCain and dreaded what I feared Barrack might do, I felt a surge of elation when the networks announced he'd won. I really hadn't thought the U.S. would go for an African-American for a decade or so.
The movies saved my life. I grew up in the great depression, the only child of a pair of star crossed lovers. My father lost his job. My mother drank. They fought. The movies were my escape.
One night in a club in Boston, I tried the name Roger Duck. No laughs. The next night, I tried Orson Bean, putting together a pompous first name and a silly second name. I got laughs, so I decided to keep it.
A lot of people didn't know I was doing Broadway. They thought I was one of those guys who was famous for being famous. I was the one who sat next to Charles Nelson Reilly and said funny things.
I did my teen-age years in World War II. War news was a constant. We kept the radio on in our house to hear Edward R. Murrow broadcasting from the rooftops of London, describing the blitz.
Well, I haven't done that many movies, but the best one was 'Being John Malkovich.'
War was a way of life for Americans in the early forties. Heroism was expected.
When I grew up, which was really in the 30s and the 40s, the movies were a moral guideline for me.
Every restaurant in the world is owned by a Greek.
I paid a price for being on game shows and that was not being taken seriously. But so what? I did what I did and I was glad. But it's a strange form of immortality.
Possessions can possess you. Even a lawn can possess you. It makes you buy a garden hose. Which makes you water. Which cuts into time you might be happier spending some other way.
I like to work. I like to go every night and play a part.
God is being siphoned out of the public arena. People don't even say God bless you when you sneeze anymore. I want to be able to lay a Merry Christmas on someone without its feeling like a political statement.
I think God loves to hear little kids laugh at fart jokes. He didn't just make sunsets and bluebirds, He made hot babes. And dirty old men like me. That's the modest message I've set out to tell the world: you don't have to be Ned Flanders to be a Christian.
I adored my mother. She was beautiful, smart, sexy and funny.
The people who get bored and want to get out of a long-run aren't the people who actually like to act.
I had come to New York seeking my fortune after a few years of honing my craft as a stand-up on the road.
