35 Orange Is the New Black Quotes (2024)

Orange Is The New Black

Miss Rosa Cisneros: [after running Vee over with the prison van] Always so rude, that one.

Orange Is The New Black

Poussey Washington: [about love] It's just chilling, you know? Kickin' it with somebody, talking, making mad stupid jokes. And like, not even wanting to go to sleep 'cuz then you might be without 'em for a moment and you don't want that.

Orange Is The New Black

Big Boo: [observing Pennsatucky's grave shrine to her aborted babies] It's like a whole little graveyard here.
Tiffany 'Pennsatucky' Doggett: Yeah, these are all my unborn babies.
Big Boo: Ooh.
[sings]
Big Boo: Ooh. She got the Mother's Day blues!
[pause]
Big Boo: Jesus,

you look like the Angel of Death. I get that a lot.
Tiffany 'Pennsatucky' Doggett: [about aborting her babies] Yeah, I'm goin' to hell. I know it. I mean, even though I was saved and everything, I just- they never even had a chance, you know?
Big Boo: Son, you gotta let go of that shit.
Tiffany 'Pennsatucky' Doggett: It's easy

for you to say. I'm guessing you ain't never had to abort nobody.
Big Boo: A bold assumption. You ever read a book called Freakonomics?
Tiffany 'Pennsatucky' Doggett: No. What's it about, bearded ladies and midgets?
Big Boo: Close. It's about economic theory, cause and effect.
Tiffany 'Pennsatucky'

Doggett: Sounds boring.
Big Boo: It's actually a pretty good read. They have this chapter in it, "Where Have All the Criminals Gone?"
Tiffany 'Pennsatucky' Doggett: Over there in that field.
Big Boo: You know, in the 1990s, crime fell spectacularly, and this book attributes that to the passing of Roe v. Wade.

Tiffany 'Pennsatucky' Doggett: The Darkness of '73.
Big Boo: The exact opposite, actually. I mean, the abortions that occurred after Roe v. Wade These were children that weren't wanted. Children who, if their mothers had been forced to have them, would've grown up poor and neglected and abused, the three most important ingredients when one is making a

felon.
Tiffany 'Pennsatucky' Doggett: But they were never born.
Big Boo: [ignores Pennsatucky] So, 20 years later, when they would've been of prime crime age, they weren't there. And the crime rate dropped dramatically.
Tiffany 'Pennsatucky' Doggett: What's your point?
Big Boo: Well, my point is that

you were a meth-head, white-trash piece of shit, and your children, had they been born, would have been meth-head, white-trash pieces of shit. So by terminating those pregnancies, you spared society the scourge of your offspring. I mean, when you think about it, it's a blessing!
Tiffany 'Pennsatucky' Doggett: Never thought if it that way.

Orange Is The New Black

Alex Vause: [to Piper] Are you cheating on me and Larry with Crazy Eyes? 'Cuz there is not room for the four of us!

Orange Is The New Black

Galina 'Red' Reznikov: All I wanted was to eat the chicken that is smarter than other chickens and to absorb its power!

Orange Is The New Black

Piper Chapman: I'm scared that I'm not myself and I'm scared that I am.

Orange Is The New Black

Tasha 'Taystee' Jefferson: Don't be fuckin' with Harry Potter!

Orange Is The New Black

Galina 'Red' Reznikov: I'm missing half my zucchini. These girls don't realize I'm here to provide food not dildos. I'm all out of cucumbers, carrots, beets. God knows what they're doing with those. I can't hold on to anything cock-shaped.

Orange Is The New Black

Poussey Washington: Nein, motherfucker, nein!

Orange Is The New Black

Yoga Jones: [about coping in prison] Work hard to make something as beautiful and meaningful as you can and when you're done, pack it in and know it was all temporary.

Orange Is The New Black

Pete Harper: I'm not an alcoholic. I'm Australian!

Orange Is The New Black

Suzanne 'Crazy Eyes' Warren: [to Piper] Before I met you the sun was like a yellow grape. But now, it looks like fire in the sky. Why? Because you light a fire inside me!

Orange Is The New Black

Galina 'Red' Reznikov: The second you're perceived as weak, you already are.

Orange Is The New Black

Lorna Morello: [to Piper] Do you hear yourself sometimes? Like, when you speak?

Orange Is The New Black

Tiffany 'Pennsatucky' Doggett: [opening lines in third season]
[while driving the prison van]
Tiffany 'Pennsatucky' Doggett: I'd butter your toast. I'd feed her dog. I'd zip his sweater. Mmm! See? It doesn't matter what you say, as long as it's "I'd blank your blank"!
[chuckles]
Tiffany 'Pennsatucky' Doggett: It all

sounds dirty, always.

Orange Is The New Black

Piper Chapman: The food here is *disgusting*!
[everyone at the table shoots her a stern look]
Piper Chapman: [pause] What?
Nicky Nichols: Did I mention that Red runs the kitchen?
Piper Chapman: [shocked and embarrassed] Oh, shit! I'm sorry!