Ocean's Twelve Quotes

Matsui: So, business?
Danny Ocean: Business.
Rusty Ryan: A doctor, who specializes in skin diseases, will dream he has fallen asleep in front of the television. Later, he will wake up in front of the television, but not remember his dream.
Matsui: [to Caldwell] Would you agree?
[Caldwell is visibly

perplexed and perturbed, shaking his head]
Matsui: .
Danny Ocean: If all the animals along the equator were capable of flattery, then Thanksgiving and Hallowe'en... would fall... on the same day.
Rusty Ryan: Mm.
Matsui: Yeah. Hey. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
Matsui: When I was four years

old, I watched my mother kill a spider... with a teacosy. Years later, I realised it was not a spider - it was my Uncle Harold.
Linus Caldwell: [All eyes turn to him, expectantly] Oh, let the sun beat down upon my face, stars fill my dreams.
[Ryan claps hand across eyes]
Linus Caldwell: I am a traveller in both time and space, to be where I

have been.
[Blank, yet stern, looks from everyone]
Linus Caldwell: [Outside, Ryan and Ocean join Caldwell in the street] Is he alright? Are we alright?
Rusty Ryan: Kashmir?
Danny Ocean: Is that your idea of making a contribution?
Rusty Ryan: We hadn't even started. We ain't even got to the terms

yet.
Danny Ocean: We came this close to losing that.
Linus Caldwell: Hey, I don't even understand what happened in there. What did I say?
Danny Ocean: You called his niece a whore.
Rusty Ryan: A very cheap one.
Linus Caldwell: What?
Danny Ocean: She's

seven.
Rusty Ryan: Currently confined to bed with a wicked case of...
Danny Ocean: No, you don't need to tell him that...
Linus Caldwell: Sorry.
Linus Caldwell: OK. So what does this mean?
Rusty Ryan: It means you stay here.

Linus Caldwell: [Linus is trying to convince everyone that Danny was actually the leader of "The Benedict Job"] Well, if any of you had a problem, who did you go to?
Basher Tarr, Turk Malloy, Virgil Malloy, Reuben Tishkoff, Livingston

Dell, Yen, Frank Catton: [simultaneously] Rusty.
Danny Ocean: Thanks, Linus.

Linus Caldwell: Hey, can I ask you something? You ever notice that...
Rusty Ryan: If you're gonna ask if you can ask me a question, give me time to respond. Unless you're asking rhetorically, in which case the answer is obvious - yes.
Linus Caldwell: Okay, can I ask you...
Rusty Ryan: Yes.
Linus

Caldwell: Thanks. You ever notice that Tess looks...
Rusty Ryan: Ooh, don't ever ask that. Ever. Seriously. Not to anyone, especially not to her.
Linus Caldwell: Wait, why not?
Rusty Ryan: Look, it's not in my nature to be mysterious. But I can't talk about it and I can't talk about why.
[walks off]

Linus Caldwell: Oooooooooo.

Linus Caldwell: Um, all right, let's go over the list again. Ah, Swinging Priest?
Basher Tarr: Not enough people.
Linus Caldwell: Crazy Larry?
Turk Malloy: Not enough people.
Linus Caldwell: Soft shoulder?
Basher Tarr: Not enough people.
Linus

Caldwell: Baker's dozen?
Basher Tarr: No woman
[pause]
Basher Tarr: and not enough people.
Turk Malloy: Hell in a Handbasket?
Linus Caldwell: [sigh] We can't train a cat that quickly
[pause]
Linus Caldwell: and...
Linus

Caldwell, Basher Tarr, Turk Malloy: Not enough people.

Danny Ocean: What are you doing?
Rusty Ryan: Sleeping. Why are you dressed?
Danny Ocean: It's 5:30, day of. Gotta go, let's go!
Rusty Ryan: It's 11:30. The night before.
Danny Ocean: [realizes he was given a prank wake-up call by Toulour]
Rusty Ryan: Oh! Oh he's

mean. He's just mean spirited. All right, how many espressos have you had?
Danny Ocean: Five.

Molly Star: I hope Danny And Rusty appreciate the fine job you did - in a tight jam? I'm really proud of you.
Linus Caldwell: Thanks.
Molly Star: We both are.
Linus Caldwell: [pauses and looks at Star]
Linus Caldwell: [revealing that Molly Star is actually Mrs. Caldwell, his mother] You

told Dad? You told Dad?
Molly Star: I had to sweetheart, We were on vacation.
Linus Caldwell: [shaking his head, looks away from his mom]
Molly Star: [smiling] I'm sorry.
Linus Caldwell: Great. you guys are gonna be dining out on this one for months! Hey, you remember the time your mom had to go to

Rome, Blah, Blah,blah? Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah?

Turk Malloy: It's ridiculous, I mean this is a moral issue we're dealing with here. Not to mention we don't have a grease man anymore, because he's in a bag somewhere. We don't know.
Virgil Malloy: We got a bag man.
Turk Malloy: Such an ape, an animal, with no feelings you are.
Virgil Malloy: I have feelings.

Turk Malloy: No, you don't.
Virgil Malloy: Look, yeah, I do I feel bad for the guy. He's a human being in a piece of luggage, but you got water, he's got air. What did you want them to do?
Turk Malloy: Oh my God they should have gotten off the bus, get off the bus and pick up the bag with our friend in it.

Virgil Malloy: Get off the bus, they were trying to be inconspicuous. How many soccer teams do you know that are fielding 50 year-old men?
Danny Ocean: Rusty's not 50 years old.
Turk Malloy: Yeah, dude, we know Rusty's not 50.

Tess Ocean: [while trying to get through a crowd of fans thinking she's Julia Roberts] How is this going to get Danny out?
Linus Caldwell: We need someone famous.
Tess Ocean: Why didn't you get someone famous?
Linus Caldwell: Just think Four Weddings and a Funeral.
Tess Ocean: [rather

bewildered] She wasn't in Four Weddings and a Funeral.
Linus Caldwell: 'I'. 'I wasn't in Four Weddings and a Funeral'! Just protect your fake baby!

Danny Ocean: How much is everyone short?
Turk Malloy: 14.
Virgil Malloy: You're kidding me! You spent all but 5 million?
Turk Malloy: Yes! Are you going to start on me with that too? You don't know what it's like starting something from scratch!
Virgil Malloy: Well, with interest, I'm

short 7.
Frank Catton: Eight.
Linus Caldwell: Well, I spent a million on talent development, so I guess that leaves me at 7. Boy, that interest just kills you, man!
Basher Tarr: I'm light 9.
Livingston Dell: What's the interest?
Reuben Tishkoff: 6.
Livingston

Dell: Then I owe 6.
Turk Malloy: What?
Livingston Dell: I've been living with my parents.
Rusty Ryan: I owe 25.
[everyone looks at him, he chuckles wryly]
Rusty Ryan: Hotels, man.

Reuben Tishkoff: I can handle Saul's share.
Danny Ocean: You don't have to do that.
Reuben Tishkoff: Who would I talk to if you're all dead?
Danny Ocean: That's a good point. Alright, I owe 10. Amazing?
Yen: [speaks in Mandarin]
Rusty Ryan: [chuckles] Yeah, but

it's a nice place.
Livingston Dell: So that comes to?
Reuben Tishkoff: 97, give or take.
Rusty Ryan: He didn't find us on his own. Someone helped him.
Reuben Tishkoff: Another thief.
Linus Caldwell: Well, there's no-one we'd know that would violate rule number one.

Danny Ocean: What we do know is we need a job. We need a high paying job.
Linus Caldwell: Well, now we're too hot to be working anywhere in this country.
Danny Ocean: So we go abroad. How 'bout we go to...
Rusty Ryan: [cuts in] We're on the 5:00.
Danny Ocean: Good. We're we going?

Rusty Ryan: Amsterdam.
Danny Ocean: Amsterdam, it is. Clock's running guys. Let's go.
Linus Caldwell: I've never been to Amsterdam.
Turk Malloy: I hear German girls are really hot.