Napoleon Dynamite
Napoleon Dynamite

Napoleon Dynamite: [Feeding the llama scoops of casserole over the fence] Tina, you fat lard, come get some DINNER!... Tina, eat. Food. Eat the FOOD!

Napoleon Dynamite
Napoleon Dynamite

Don: Hey, Napoleon. What did you do last summer again?
Napoleon Dynamite: I told you! I spent it with my uncle in Alaska hunting wolverines!
Don: Did you shoot any?
Napoleon Dynamite: Yes, like 50 of 'em! They kept trying to attack my cousins, what the heck would you do in a situation like that?

Don: What kind of gun did you use?
Napoleon Dynamite: A freakin' 12-gauge, what do you think?

Napoleon Dynamite
Napoleon Dynamite

Napoleon Dynamite: [referring to Deb's milk] I see you're drinking 1%. Is that 'cause you think you're fat? 'Cause you're not. You could be drinking whole if you wanted to.

Napoleon Dynamite
Napoleon Dynamite

[first lines]
Kid on Bus: What are you gonna do today, Napoleon?
Napoleon Dynamite: Whatever I feel like I wanna do. Gosh!

Napoleon Dynamite
Napoleon Dynamite

Deb: I'm trying to earn money for college.
Kip: [from the background] Your mom goes to college.

Napoleon Dynamite
Napoleon Dynamite

[repeated line]
Napoleon Dynamite: Gosh!

Napoleon Dynamite
Napoleon Dynamite

Deb: What are you drawing?
Napoleon Dynamite: A liger.
Deb: What's a liger?
Napoleon Dynamite: It's pretty much my favorite animal. It's like a lion and a tiger mixed... bred for its skills in magic.

Napoleon Dynamite
Napoleon Dynamite

Napoleon Dynamite: Do the chickens have large talons?
Farmer: Do they have what?
Napoleon Dynamite: Large talons.
Farmer: I don't understand a word you just said.

Napoleon Dynamite
Napoleon Dynamite

Uncle Rico: What about your girlfriend?
Kip: Well, things are getting pretty serious right now. I mean, we chat online for, like, two hours every day so I guess you could say things are gettin' pretty serious.

Napoleon Dynamite
Napoleon Dynamite

Napoleon Dynamite: Stay home and eat all the freakin' chips, Kip.
Kip: Napoleon, don't be jealous that I've been chatting online with babes... *all day*. Besides, we both know that I'm training to be a cage fighter.
Napoleon Dynamite: Since when, Kip? You have the worst reflexes of all time.
Kip: Try and hit

me, Napoleon.
Napoleon Dynamite: What?
Kip: I said come down here and see what happens if you try and hit me.

Napoleon Dynamite
Napoleon Dynamite

Teacher: Your current event, Napoleon.
Napoleon Dynamite: Last week, Japanese scientists explaced... placed explosive detonators at the bottom of Lake Loch Ness to blow Nessie out of the water. Sir Cort Godfrey of the Nessie Alliance summoned the help of Scotland's local wizards to cast a protective spell over the lake and its local residents and all those

who seek for the peaceful existence of our underwater ally.

Napoleon Dynamite
Napoleon Dynamite

[Napoleon has snuck tator tots out of the lunch room and is eating them during class out of his pants pocket]
Randy: Napoleon, give me some of your tots.
Napoleon Dynamite: No, go find your own.
Randy: Come on, give me some of your tots.
Napoleon Dynamite: No, I'm freakin' starving! I didn't get to eat

*anything* today.
Randy: [Kicks the pocket with the tots, crushing them]
Napoleon Dynamite: Ugh! Gross! Freakin' idiot!

Napoleon Dynamite
Napoleon Dynamite

Pedro: Do you think people will vote for me?
Napoleon Dynamite: Heck yes! I'd vote for you.
Pedro: Like what are my skills?
Napoleon Dynamite: Well, you have a sweet bike. And you're really good at hooking up with chicks. Plus you're like the only guy at school who has a mustache.

Napoleon Dynamite
Napoleon Dynamite

Napoleon Dynamite: Well, what is there to eat?
Grandma: Knock it off, Napoleon! Just make yourself a dang quesa-dilluh!

Napoleon Dynamite
Napoleon Dynamite

Grandma: How was school?
Napoleon Dynamite: The worst day of my life, what do you think?

Napoleon Dynamite
Napoleon Dynamite

Kip: LaFawnduh is *the* best thing that has ever happened to me. I'm 100% positive she's my soul mate. Don't worry Napoleon, I'm sure there's a babe out there for you too. Peace out.

Napoleon Dynamite
Napoleon Dynamite

Uncle Rico: How much you wanna make a bet I can throw a football over them mountains?... Yeah... Coach woulda put me in fourth quarter, we would've been state champions. No doubt. No doubt in my mind.

Napoleon Dynamite
Napoleon Dynamite

[Kip is singing to Lafawnduh after they are pronounced husband and wife]
Kip: Why do you love me? Why do you need me? Always and forever... We met in a chatroom, now our love can fully bloom... Sure the world wide web is great, but you, you make my salivate... I love technology, but not as much as you, you see... But I STILL love technology... Always and forever. Our love

is like a flock of doves, flying up to heaven above... always and forever, always and forever... Why do you need me? Why do you love me? Always and forever...

Napoleon Dynamite
Napoleon Dynamite

Rex: I'm Rex, founder of the Rex Kwan Do self-defense system! After one week with me in my dojo, you'll be prepared to defend yourself with the STRENGTH of a grizzly, the reflexes of a PUMA, and the wisdom of a man.

Napoleon Dynamite
Napoleon Dynamite

Napoleon Dynamite: [drinks glass of milk] The defect in that one is bleach.
FFA Judge No. 1: That's right.
Napoleon Dynamite: Yessssssssss.
Napoleon Dynamite: [drinks second glass of milk] This tastes like the cow got into an onion patch.
FFA Judge No. 2: Correct.

Napoleon Dynamite: Yessssssssss.