Julianne Potter: I have a confession. Another confession. Besides that I - love you, this is even worse. The e-mail that Walter sent to your boss - I wrote that. I'm the bad guy.
Michael O'Neill: Are you crazy? Jules, are you - are you completely insane? I mean - I mean - Jules, how could you do that?
Julianne Potter: Michael, it
wasn't supposed to get sent. I just - I just wanted you to get mad at Kimmy.
[sighs]
Julianne Potter: God. I have done nothing but underhanded, despicable, not even terribly imaginative things since I got here.
[sighs]
Julianne Potter: But I was ju - Michael, I was just trying to - to win you, to win you back.
[Crying]
Julianne Potter: But that doesn't excuse any of it. I'm pond scum. Well, lower actually. I'm like the - the fungus that feeds on pond scum.
Michael O'Neill: Lower. The pus that infects the mucous... that cruds up the fungus... that feeds on the pond scum. On the other hand, thank you... for loving me that much. That way, it's - it's pretty flattering.
Julianne Potter: Except it makes me fungus.
Julianne Potter: No. Crème brûlée can never be Jell-O. YOU could never be Jell-O.
Kimmy Wallace: I HAVE to be Jell-O!
Julianne Potter: You're never gonna be Jell-O! Now you need to come clean with your parents about this wedding because if you wait for the "Do you take this man?" part, it's considered poor form.
Julianne Potter: Michael, I love you. I've loved you for nine years. I've just been too arrogant and scared to realize it, and, well, now, I'm just scared, so - I-I-I realize this comes at a very inopportune time, but I really have this gigantic favor to ask of you. Choose me. M-marry me. Let me make you happy. Oh, that sounds like three favors, doesn't it? B-but...
Julianne Potter: I had the strangest dream. I dreamt that some psychopath was trying to break the two of you up. Luckily, I woke up and I see that the world is just as it should be. For my best friend has won the best woman. Um, I didn't buy you a gift. However, this is on loan until you two find your song. So...
Kimmy Wallace: You kissed him!
Ladies in the bathroom: [Gasp]
Kimmy Wallace: At my parents' house!
Ladies in the bathroom: That's cold.
Kimmy Wallace: On my wedding day!
Ladies in the bathroom: Bitch.
Ladies in the bathroom: Tramp.
Julianne Potter: I...
Kimmy
Wallace: Shut up! Now I love this man, and there is no way I'm gonna give him up to some two-faced, big-haired food critic.
Julianne Potter: What I mean, when I say annoyingly perfect, is that there is nothing annoying about her perfection. It's vulnerable and endearing... and that is annoying as shit.
George Downes: Ahh... you like her...
Julianne Potter: If I didn't have to hate her, I'd adore her.
George Downes: Listen, Jules. Why don't we stop and have a drink? You can take a later flight.
Julianne Potter: No, no, no, no. I'm a busy girl. I've got exactly four days to break up a wedding, steal the bride's fella and I haven't one clue how to do it. He was in love with everyday for nine godddamn years. Me!
Julianne Potter: This is my one chance at happiness. I have to be ruthless!
George Downes: [George is about to be introduced to Kimmy's family] Oh my god, race you to the altar!
Julianne Potter: [under her breath] Underplay.
George Downes: Got it.
[to a relative]
George Downes: HEY! I'm Jules' fiance, George! Just stopped by for a little preconjugal visit if you catch my drift!