Various Martians: Ack! Ack! Ack!
Grandma Florence Norris: They blew up Congress! Ha ha ha ha!
President Dale: I want the people to know that they still have 2 out of 3 branches of the government working for them, and that ain't bad.
Martian Translator Device: All green of skin... 800 centuries ago, their bodily fluids include the birth of half-breeds. For the fundamental truth self-determination of the cosmos, for dark is the suede that mows like a harvest.
General Decker: What the hell does that mean?
[Watching an alien on TV]
First Lady: [after seeing the Martians for the first time] I'm not allowing that thing in my house.
President Dale: Sweetie, we may have to. The people expect me to meet with them.
First Lady: Well they're not going to eat off the Van Buren china.
President Dale: Why can't we work out our differences? Why can't we work things out? Little people, why can't we all just get along?
Taffy Dale: Guess it wasn't the dove.
Martian Translator Device: Don't run! We are your friends!
Richie Norris: I want to thank my Grandma for always being so good to me, and, and for helping save the world and everything.
General Casey: [talking on phone] Hello? This is General Casey. I get to meet the Martian Ambassador! Ain't that great? Oh, it's a hell of an honor. But didn't I always tell you honey, if I just stayed in place and never spoke up, good things are bound to happen. Yeah... Ok
[makes kissing noises and ends the phone call]
Rude Gambler: You wanna conquer the world, you're going to need lawyers, right?
First Lady: [as the chandelier is falling on her] The Nancy Reagan chandelier!
Richie Norris: Wow, he just made the international sign of the doughnut.
Richie Norris: I bet you're psyched about the Martians coming Grandma? I mean, you've seen a lot of crazy stuff already. Everyone must have been real scared when they invented the train!
Grandma Florence Norris: Come on kid I'm not that old!
Billy Glenn Norris: Bye bye, Grandma.
Grandma Florence Norris: Goodbye, Thomas.
Billy Glenn Norris: It's Billy Glenn, Grandma.
Grandma Florence Norris: I know, Thomas.
Rude Gambler: HEY! You're Tom Jones Right? "It ain't unusual", Hey Tom, Tom! Can I have an autograph? Anyone Got A Pen?
[Challenging a Martian to a fistfight]
Byron Williams: No weapons! No tricks! Just you and me! Byron Williams! The heavyweight champion of the world!
President Dale: What do you think, Marcia?
First Lady: Kick the crap out of 'em.
President Dale: Rest assured that we will soon come out at a very real outcome.
Nathalie Lake: Jason, hi. It's me.
Jason Stone: Are you wearing a bra?
