I have no limits, no filter, no class, no poise. No decorum. Just fun.
I apologize in my real life all the time. I say ridiculous things, I make mistakes constantly. But when I'm on stage, I'm at a microphone... it's a joke!
I actually have to pick and chose stuff that I know I'm going to bomb at.
So I wonder if anything should ever be off limits.
The thing that cracks me up is how these reality characters start out thrilled and excited just to be on television, and how they move to thinking they are as big as the Friends.
I am an outsider looking in, absolutely. You're not going to see me at the Academy Awards 'Vanity Fair' party any time soon. I'm not somebody who, no matter where I go, there are paparazzi or any of that nonsense. But I have a little window into that world, and I can enter it and dance around. I want to be the audience's ticket into the party.
The great thing about celebrity culture is that they can't seem to stop themselves from displaying their ridiculous behaviour. I feel it's my job as a serious investigative journalist to witness all kinds of behaviour and then report back to the audience through the prism of my own anger and bitterness.
Well, my whole thing with gossip is I couldn't care less if it's true.
I have friends who are going through chemotherapy, and they make the darkest, most hideous cancer jokes you've ever heard.
I love to make fun of fashion because it is just so silly.
I'm a female in comedy, so of course I want there to be more women on 'SNL', and women of color.
I'm on every worst-dressed list imaginable.
I'm always listening and watching; my ear is like a boom mike. And judging, frankly. Constantly judging.
I'm not an artist. I tell inappropriate stories and jokes and I try to make people laugh.
I prefer being known for my stand-up because I write it. I love being an actor, and saying other people's words is great. But then, when I do stand-up, I love getting my own point of view out there.
It is a challenge, with the global fame, to try to act like I put my pants on one leg at a time, when in fact I have Pippa Middleton help me put my pants on every morning. She's my lady-in-waiting as well.
I have a no-apology policy.
I don't like doing movies, period. Movies are hard. I like TV.
I have to tell you, though, the sexism in late night talk is so profound.
I have what I call A-list moments, but believe me, I'm still on the D-list.
