Moose Finbar: [riding an elephant] ZOOLOGY, BITCH!
[Professor Oberon gets eaten by a hippo]
Moose Finbar: You better go in there and save her!
Dr. Smolder Bravestone: I'm not gonna get in there, you get in there!
Moose Finbar: I got a backpack on! You don't get in water with a backpack, everybody knows that.
Professor Shelly Oberon: Oh my God, this is so cool! Martha, come look at my penis!
Ruby Roundhouse: No, thanks!
Dr. Smolder Bravestone: I can't do this!
Moose Finbar: I saw you fix a helicopter in mid-air!
Dr. Smolder Bravestone: It's a lot easier to be brave when you've got lives to spare. It's a lot harder when you only have one life.
Moose Finbar: We always only have one life, man. That's how it is.
[Bethany has become Shelly Oberon]
Professor Shelly Oberon: [sees her reflection] NOO! I'm an over-weight middle-aged man!
Martha: [sarcasm] Are you gonna help, or are you too pretty?
Bethany: [serious] I'm too pretty.
Professor Shelly Oberon: [Bethany as Prof. Shelly Oberon is about to pee as a male for the first time] So how do we do this?
Moose Finbar: Easy. You just - you unzip, take it out, fire away.
Dr. Smolder Bravestone: Remember to aim. It's very important.
Professor Shelly Oberon: [Gasping] Oh my God, you guys,
there's like literally a penis attached to my body right now. Martha, come look at my penis!
Ruby Roundhouse: No, thanks!
Moose Finbar: Is this the first that you've seen it?
Professor Shelly Oberon: Yes, I didn't wanna look.
Moose Finbar: I looked at mine within the first 20 seconds of getting here.
I'm happy to report that I was able to bring one thing from the outside world.
Professor Shelly Oberon: [Bethany tried to take a peek at Finbar' peeing]
Moose Finbar: What? Are you...? What are you doing? Are you looking?
Professor Shelly Oberon: Sorry.
Moose Finbar: You don't look over here!
Dr. Smolder Bravestone: Yeah, you never look. It's a thing.
Professor Shelly Oberon: [Unzipping his pants] Okay, good boy. We're gonna take this nice and slow, and nobody's gonna get hurt. Now what?
Moose Finbar: Now blast off!
Dr. Smolder Bravestone: And aim, don't forget to aim.
Moose
Finbar: What is with you and aiming? What happened to you?
Dr. Smolder Bravestone: Can we not talk about this in mixed company?
Professor Shelly Oberon: [Peeing] Wow, wow, WOW! Oh, this is so much easier!
Moose Finbar: [Chuckles] It's cool, right?
Professor Shelly Oberon: Yeah, because you
have, like, a handle. The fact that I'm not Instagramming this right now is insane.
Ruby Roundhouse, Dr. Smolder Bravestone, Moose Finbar, Professor Shelly Oberon, Alex: [as Bravestone places the Jaguar's Eye onto the statue] JUMANJI!
Professor Shelly Oberon: Seriously, I can't even open my mouth around you. You don't even know me, but you, like, decided you hate me.
Ruby Roundhouse: Look, I just think you live in, like, the "hot popular girl" bubble, you know, where everybody either treats you like a princess or like an object. Maybe it makes you a little self-absorbed or something?
Professor Shelly Oberon: That's fair. But do you think that maybe the reason why you are so judgy is because you are like afraid that people are not gonna like you, so you've decided not to like them first? I'm just saying, you're a babe, go with it.
Moose Finbar: [after taking a bite of a cake] Wait, what - what is this?
Bread Vendor: That's my famous pound cake.
Ruby Roundhouse: Cake? Isn't that your weakness?
Moose Finbar: Bethany, you said this was bread!
Professor Shelly Oberon: I guess it's been so long, I forget how it tastes
like...
Moose Finbar: How do you forget what...
[looking at Ruby Roundhouse]
Moose Finbar: What is happening? Something happens to me?
Ruby Roundhouse: No.
Moose Finbar: Am I... am I shaking?
Ruby Roundhouse: No.
Moose Finbar: Am I breaking out?
Ruby Roundhouse: No.
Moose Finbar: Am I still black?
Ruby Roundhouse: Yes.
Moose Finbar: Okay. Okay, right? We're fine. Everything is fine. Yeah... no, no, no, it's okay. It probably just meant that I love cake that I couldn't resist it. Hey, it's all good...
[Finbar suddenly explodes in a burst of
flame]
Dr. Smolder Bravestone: I want to stay with you, like this.
Ruby Roundhouse: Then let's be like this... every day. Just come home.