Johnny English: [after he realises that the key is stolen] Shushan!
Agent Tucker: Susan.
Johnny English: [wrestling elderly woman] She was in Hong Kong! She's the killer!
Pamela: She's my mother!
Johnny English: Couldn't she be both?
Johnny English: Dear God, let me not die at the hands of the Swiss.
Agent Two: Welcome back. How long has it been?
Johnny English: Oh, I don't know, five years, three months and six days. Or something.
Johnny English: I may not know much about golf, Tucker, but I know how to hold the bat.
Ting Wang: [ominously] MI7 wants you on the first flight back to London.
Johnny English: Master, am I ready?
Ting Wang: No... Window seat, or aisle?
Johnny English: You mean there's a mole AND a vole?
Johnny English: Let's kick some bottom.
Johnny English: Hand it over, chimp!
Johnny English: So, when is the Prime Minister going to grace us with his presence?
Prime Minister: I'm the Prime Minister.
Johnny English: Yeah, you wish.
Johnny English: Well, the man's a god.
Kate Sumner: Well, I prefer mortals - pure, complicated, maddening mortals. I've come to realize that what's really exciting to me is great loyalty, determination, and courage.
Johnny English: Ambrose, you five star turd!
Kate Sumner: Oh, Johnny.
Chinese Man in Spectacles: Your grandmother is sick
Johnny English: What?
Chinese Man in Spectacles: Your grandmother is sick
Johnny English: Well, she's dead. That's how sick she is.
[first lines]
Agent One: Johnny English. Five years ago he was our top agent.
Agent Two: Yeah. Took his eye off the ball in Mozambique.
Agent One: Does it have to be him?
Agent Two: He's the only one our contact will talk to.
Agent One: So where is he?
Johnny English: Tucker... you clever boy.
Johnny English: You couldn't hit a barn-door with a banana.
Johnny English: There's bound to be a hospital in Dingham.
Agent Tucker: It's the T-2, sir. The T-2!
Technician: Has anyone seen the voice-changing travel lozenges?
Johnny English: [In a high-pitched voice] Um... No.
