It doesn't matter whether you are rich or poor - as long as you've got money.
You only live once - but if you work it right, once is enough.
You are only young once, and if you work it right, once is enough.
It pays to get drunk with the best people.
I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.
There's only one thing money won't buy, and that is poverty.
Show me a man with both feet on the ground and I'll show you a man who can't get his pants on.
A man is never drunk if he can lay on the floor without holding on.
I'm still chasing girls. I don't remember what for, but I'm still chasing them.
Show me a friend in need and I'll show you a pest.
I drink to forget I drink.
The way taxes are, you might as well marry for love.
I always wake up at the crack of ice.
Whenever someone asks me if I want water with my Scotch, I say I'm thirsty, not dirty.
If you want to make a dangerous man your friend, let him do you a favor.
I don't like money actually, but it quiets the nerves.
I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster.
I've been on such a losing streak that if I had been around I would have taken General Custer and given points.
I don't drink any more than the man next to me, and the man next to me is Dean Martin.
We can afford almost any mistake once.
