They asked me what I thought about euthanasia. I said I'm more concerned about the adults.
I went to the store and bought lady fingers, when I got home I noticed one of the fingers was missing so I went back to the store and the manager was nice enough to give me the finger.
It all started when my dog began getting free roll over minutes.
My father would take me to the playground, and put me on mood swings.
I recorded my hair this morning, tonight I'm watching the highlights.
I wanted to take up music, so my father bought me a blunt instrument. He told me to knock myself out.
I don't need to worry about identity theft because no one wants to be me.
I saw a stationery store move.
I told my therapist I was having nightmares about nuclear explosions. He said don't worry it's not the end of the world.
I'm convinced my cockroaches have military training, I set off a roach bomb - they diffused it.
I once dated a weather girl, we talked up a storm.
After all these years I had the privilege of naming my private part, cause we have nicknames. So I named my private part pride... it's not much but at least I have my pride.
My whole family is lactose intolerant and when we take pictures we can't say cheese.
Do you know it was a year a ago today?
I went to the doctor and he said I had acute appendicitis, and I said compared to who?
I went to a record store and asked for 50 cent. They kicked me out for pan-handling.
A guy gave me a job at an information booth - no questions asked.
A window of opportunity for me usually involves a rock.
I model irregular clothing.
You know what burns me? Matches.
