Laughter is the best medicine - unless you're diabetic, then insulin comes pretty high on the list.
I am amazed at radio DJ's today. I am firmly convinced that AM on my radio stands for Absolute Moron. I will not begin to tell you what FM stands for.
Ringo isn't the best drummer in the world. He isn't even the best drummer in the Beatles.
If I were to ask you who the first million-pound show winner was on British TV, you'd probably go for Judith Keppel. She was, indeed, the first 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire' contestant to win £1 million, but the first one on TV was actually Clare Barwick, who won £1 million on Chris Evans' show 'TFI Friday.'
After leaving school, I got a job in a department store not dissimilar to Grace Bros in 'Are You Being Served?'
When I hit the scene, there was Billy Connolly and Max Boyce. It was all mother-in-law and Irish jokes, and we broke the mould. Now there are thousands of comedians out there, and I don't think I can be above it all.
I have a very happy marriage and friends who keep my feet on the ground. But looking for satisfaction in life is difficult. Maybe being happy is as simple as not being unhappy.
I just felt that 'Golden Balls' was the right thing to do. I didn't care if people thought I was a failure.
I have that working class fear of having nothing. I've always got one eye on what's in the bank.
I started to develop my comedy skills when I became resident singer at the Boggery Folk Club in Solihull. My career blossomed from there, and I became a big draw on the folk-club circuit.
Try telling people in the Seventies that butter was healthier for you than margarine, and they would force feed you with Stork.
The impact of T.V. on our lives in general gets most things out of proportion.
Celador always ask me to do their shows, and I turned down 'Millionaire.' I couldn't have done it as well as Chris Tarrant, or at least I couldn't have done it any better.
My real name is Bob Davis, but for some reason, I got the name Jasper while playing football at the local rec when I was nine years old, and it just stuck. Years later, when someone asked 'Jasper who?' I just said 'Carrott' - but I have no idea why I came out with that particular word.
If you were asked to go on 'Mastermind,' what would your specialist subject be? I wouldn't have a clue what I could answer questions on. Birmingham City Football Club would be a start, I suppose, but with a hundred odd years of history, thousands of matches, players and incidents to recall, even access to Google would leave me struggling.
Happiness to me is simply not being unhappy.
I've always been sensible with my money. I can't say I'm a business genius.
I was never the class clown, and I've no idea where the comedy came from.
I want to do things I enjoy, and show business comes fifth or sixth down the line.
I have to confess here that I am a useless cook.
