Inglourious Basterds Quotes

Lt. Aldo Raine: My name is Lt. Aldo Raine and I'm putting together a special team, and I need me eight soldiers. Eight Jewish-American soldiers. Now, y'all might've heard rumors about the armada happening soon. Well, we'll be leaving a little earlier. We're gonna be dropped into France, dressed as civilians. And once we're in enemy territory, as a bushwhackin' guerrilla army,

we're gonna be doin' one thing and one thing only... killin' Nazis. Now, I don't know about y'all, but I sure as hell didn't come down from the goddamn Smoky Mountains, cross five thousand miles of water, fight my way through half of Sicily and jump out of a fuckin' air-o-plane to teach the Nazis lessons in humanity. Nazi ain't got no humanity. They're the foot soldiers of a Jew-hatin', mass

murderin' maniac and they need to be dee-stroyed. That's why any and every son of a bitch we find wearin' a Nazi uniform, they're gonna die. Now, I'm the direct descendant of the mountain man Jim Bridger. That means I got a little Injun in me. And our battle plan will be that of an Apache resistance. We will be cruel to the Germans, and through our cruelty they will know who we are. And they will

find the evidence of our cruelty in the disemboweled, dismembered, and disfigured bodies of their brothers we leave behind us. And the German won't not be able to help themselves but to imagine the cruelty their brothers endured at our hands, and our boot heels, and the edge of our knives. And the German will be sickened by us, and the German will talk about us, and the German will fear us. And

when the German closes their eyes at night and they're tortured by their subconscious for the evil they have done, it will be with thoughts of us they are tortured with. Sound good?
Sgt. Donny Donowitz, Pfc. Hirschberg, Pfc. Andy Kagan, Pfc. Simon Sakowitz, Pfc. Omar

Ulmer, Pfc. Smithson Utivich, Cpl. Wilhelm Wicki, Pfc. Michael Zimmerman: YES, SIR!
Lt. Aldo Raine: That's what I like to hear. But I got a word of warning for all you would-be warriors. When you join my command, you take on debit. A debit you owe me personally. Each and every man under my command

owes me one hundred Nazi scalps. And I want my scalps. And all y'all will git me one hundred Nazi scalps, taken from the heads of one hundred dead Nazis. Or you will die tryin'.

Lt. Aldo Raine: Well, I speak the most Italian, so I'll be your escort. Donowitz speaks the second most, so he'll be your Italian cameraman. Omar speaks third most, so he'll be Donny's assistant.
Pfc. Omar Ulmer: I don't speak Italian.
Lt. Aldo Raine: Like I said, third best. Just keep your fuckin' mouth shut. In fact, why don't you

start practicing, right now!

Lt. Aldo Raine: You didn't say the goddamn rendezvous was in a fuckin' basement.
Lt. Archie Hicox: I didn't know.
Lt. Aldo Raine: You said it was in a tavern.
Lt. Archie Hicox: It is a tavern.
Lt. Aldo Raine: Yeah, in a basement. You know, fightin' in a basement offers a lot of

difficulties. Number one being, you're fightin' in a basement!

Major Dieter Hellstrom: [in German] I must say, I grow weary of these monkeyshines.
[Maj. Hellstrom cocks his Walther pistol and aims it at Lt. Hicox under the table]
Major Dieter Hellstrom: Did you hear that? That was the sound of my Walther. Pointed right at your testicles.
Lt. Archie Hicox: Why do you have your Walther

pointed at my testicles?
Major Dieter Hellstrom: Because you've just given yourself away, Captain. You're no more German than that scotch.
Lt. Archie Hicox: Well, Major...
Bridget von Hammersmark: Major...
Major Dieter Hellstrom: Shut up, slut! You were saying?
Lt. Archie Hicox:

I was saying that that makes two of us. I've had a gun pointed at your balls since you sat down.
[Stiglitz takes Hellstrom by the shoulder and aggressively forces a gun against his crotch]
Sgt. Hugo Stiglitz: That makes three of us. And at this range, I'm a real Frederick Zoller.
Major Dieter Hellstrom: Looks like we have a bit of a sticky

situation here.
Lt. Archie Hicox: What's going to happen, Major... you're going to stand up and walk out that door with us.
Major Dieter Hellstrom: No, no, no, no, no, no. I don't think so. I'm afraid you and I... we both know, Captain... no matter what happens to anybody else in this room... the two of us aren't going anywhere. Too bad about

Sergeant Wilhelm and his famous friends. If any of you expect to live, you'll have to shoot them too. Looks like little Max will grow up an orphan. How sad.
Lt. Archie Hicox: [In English] Well, if this is it, old boy, I hope you don't mind if I go out speaking the King's.
Major Dieter Hellstrom: [In English] By all means, Captain.
Lt.

Archie Hicox: [picks up his glass of scotch] There's a special rung in hell reserved for people who waste good scotch. Seeing as how I may be rapping on the door momentarily...
[drinks his scotch]
Lt. Archie Hicox: I must say, damn good stuff, Sir.
[sets his glass down and smokes his cigarette]
Lt. Archie Hicox: Now, about this

pickle... we find ourselves in. It would appear there's only one thing left for you to do.
Major Dieter Hellstrom: And what would that be?
Lt. Archie Hicox: Stiglitz...
Sgt. Hugo Stiglitz: Say "Auf Wiedersehen" to your Nazi balls!
[Stiglitz fires his gun into Hellstrom's crotch]

Lt. Aldo Raine: [Drawing a map] Up the road apiece, there's an orchard. Now, besides you, we know there's another kraut patrol fuckin' around there somewhere. Now if that patrol were to have any crackshots, that orchard would be a goddamn sniper's delight. Now, if you ever want to eat a sauerkraut sandwich again, you gotta show me on this here map where they are, you gotta tell me

how many there are, and you gotta tell me what kinda artillery they're carrying with 'em.
Sgt. Werner Rachtman: You can't expect me to divulge information that would put German lives in danger.
Lt. Aldo Raine: Well, now Werner, that's where you're wrong, because that's exactly what I expect. I need to know about Germans hiding in them trees, and you

need to tell me, and you need to tell me right now. Now, just take that finger of yours and point out on this here map where this party's being held, how many's coming, and what they brought to play with.
Sgt. Werner Rachtman: [puts his hand over his heart] I respectfully refuse, sir.
Lt. Aldo Raine: [a smack is heard offscreen] Hear that?

Sgt. Werner Rachtman: Yes.
Lt. Aldo Raine: That's Sgt. Donny Donowitz. You might know him better by his nickname: "The Bear Jew". Now, if you heard of Aldo the Apache, you gotta have heard of the Bear Jew.
Sgt. Werner Rachtman: I've heard of the Bear Jew.
Lt. Aldo Raine: What d'you hear?
Sgt.

Werner Rachtman: He beats German soldiers with a club.
Lt. Aldo Raine: He bashes their brains in with a baseball bat is what he does. Now, Werner, I'm gonna ask you one last goddamn time, if you still respectfully refuse, I'm callin' the Bear Jew over. He's gonna take that big bat of his, and he's gonna beat your ass to death with it. Now, take your wiener

schnitzel lickin' finger and point out on this map what I want to know.
Sgt. Werner Rachtman: [after brief pause] Fuck you... and your Jew dogs!
[the Basterds all laugh]
Lt. Aldo Raine: Actually, Werner, we're all tickled to here you say that. Quite frankly, watchin' Donny beat Nazis to death is the closest we ever get to goin' to the movies.

Donny!
Sgt. Donny Donowitz: [from offscreen] Yeah?
Lt. Aldo Raine: We got a German here who wants to die for his country! Oblige him!

Col. Hans Landa: The feature that makes me such an effective hunter of the Jews is, as opposed to most German soldiers, I can think like a Jew, where they can only think like a German... more precisely, German soldier. Now, if one were to determine what attribute the German people share with a beast, it would be the cunning and the predatory instinct of a hawk. But if one were to

determine what attributes the Jews share with a beast, it would be that of the rat. The Führer and Goebbels's propaganda have said pretty much the same thing, but where our conclusions differ is I don't consider the comparison an insult. Consider, for a moment, the world a rat lives in. It's a hostile world, indeed. If a rat were to scamper through your front door right now, would you greet it

with hostility?
Perrier LaPadite: I suppose I would.
Col. Hans Landa: Has a rat ever done anything to you to create this animosity you feel towards them?
Perrier LaPadite: Rats spread diseases. They bite people.
Col. Hans Landa: Rats were the cause of the bubonic plague, but that's some time ago. I

propose to you, any disease a rat could spread, a squirrel could equally carry. Would you agree?
Perrier LaPadite: Oui.
Col. Hans Landa: Yet I assume you don't share the same animosity with squirrels that you do with rats, do you?
Perrier LaPadite: No.
Col. Hans Landa: But they're both rodents, are they

not? And except for the tail, they even rather look alike, don't they?
Perrier LaPadite: It's an interesting thought, Herr Colonel.
Col. Hans Landa: Ha! However interesting as the thought may be, it makes not one bit of difference to how you feel. If a rat were to walk in here right now, as I'm talking, would you greet it with a saucer of your

delicious milk?
Perrier LaPadite: Probably not.
Col. Hans Landa: I didn't think so. You don't like them. You don't really know why you don't like them; all you know is you find them repulsive. Consequently, a German soldier conducts a search of a house suspected of hiding Jews. Where does the hawk look? He looks in the barn, he looks in the attic, he

looks in the cellar, he looks everywhere he would hide. But there's so many places it would never occur to a hawk to hide. However, the reason the Führer has brought me off my Alps in Austria and placed me in French cow country today is because it does occur to me. Because I'm aware what tremendous feats human beings are capable of once they abandon dignity.

Lt. Aldo Raine: [Aldo shoots Hans' driver Hermann, and gives Utivich a knife] Scalp Hermann.
Col. Hans Landa: Are you mad? What have you done? I made a deal with your general for that man's life!
Lt. Aldo Raine: Yeah, they made that deal, but they don't give a fuck about him. They need you.
Col. Hans Landa:

You'll be shot for this!
Lt. Aldo Raine: Nah, I don't think so. More like chewed out. I've been chewed out before.

[last lines]
Lt. Aldo Raine: Y'know... Utivich 'n myself heard that deal you made with the brass. "End the war tonight"?... I'd make that deal. How 'bout you Utivich, you make that deal?
Pfc. Smithson Utivich: [busy scalping Hermann] I'd make that deal.
Lt. Aldo Raine: I don't blame ya! Damn good deal! And that purty little

nest you feathered for yourself. Well, if you're willing to barbecue the whole high command, I 'spose that's worth certain considerations. But I do have one question. When you get to your little place on Nantucket Island, I 'magine you're gonna take off that handsome-lookin' S.S. uniform of yours, ain'tcha?... That's what I thought. Now that I can't abide. How 'bout you Utivich, can you abide it?

Pfc. Smithson Utivich: [finishes scalping Hermann] Not one damn bit, sir.
Lt. Aldo Raine: I mean, if I had my way... you'd wear that goddamn uniform for the rest of your pecker-suckin' life. But I'm aware that ain't practical, I mean at some point you're gonna hafta take it off. So. I'm 'onna give you a little somethin' you can't take off.

[cut to Landa screaming and crying as Raine carves a swastika into his forehead]
Lt. Aldo Raine: [smirks widely] You know somethin', Utivich? I think this just might be my masterpiece!
[Raine and Utvich grin sardonically as the credits roll]

Col. Hans Landa: [in German] So who are your three handsome escorts?
Bridget von Hammersmark: [in German] I'm afraid neither three speak a word of German. They're friends of mine from Italy. This is the wonderful Italian stuntman, Enzo Gorlomi; a very talented cameraman, Antonio Margheriti; and Antonio's camera assistant, Dominick Decocco.

Bridget von Hammersmark: [in Italian] Gentlemen, this is an old friend, Colonel Hans Landa of the SS.
Lt. Aldo Raine: [in Italian with obvious southern accent] Buongiorno.
Col. Hans Landa: [in flawless Italian] Gentlemen, it's a pleasure; the friends of our cherished star, admired by all of us, this outright jewel of our culture, are

naturally going to be under my personal protection for the duration of their stay.
Lt. Aldo Raine: [after a pause] Grazie.
Col. Hans Landa: [in Italian] Gorlomi? Am I pronouncing it correctly?
Lt. Aldo Raine: [in a very bad accent] Sì... er, corretto.
Col. Hans Landa: [in Italian] Gorla... lomi? Say it

for me once please?
Lt. Aldo Raine: [mispronouncing the name] Gorlami.
Col. Hans Landa: [in Italian, faking confusion] I'm sorry, again?
Lt. Aldo Raine: [slightly annoyed] Gorlami.
Col. Hans Landa: [in Italian] Once more?
Lt. Aldo Raine: [obviously annoyed, leans forward and

whispers] Gorlami.

[Raine is interrogating Rachtman and poitning out all of his men]
Lt. Aldo Raine: And another one over there, you might be familiar with: Sgt. Hugo Stiglitz. Heard of 'em?
Sgt. Werner Rachtman: Everybody in the German army's heard of Hugo Stiglitz.
[Some of the Basterds laugh, and the camera focuses on Stiglitz; the scene freezes and the words

"Hugo Stiglitz" appear on the screen]
Narrator: [voice-over] The reason for Hugo Stiglitz's celebrity among German soldiers is simple. As a German enlisted man, he killed thirteen Gestapo officers.
[Stiglitz is seen strangling one officer with a cord; stabbing another multiple times in the head through a pillow; and asphyxiating one with his bare hands]

Narrator: [voice-over] Instead of putting him up against a wall, the High Command decided to send him back to Berlin, to be made an example of.
[cuts to Stiglitz locked in a cell]
Narrator: Needless to say, once the Basterds heard of him, he never got there.
[One of Raine's men slits a guard's throat; the other Basterds quickly open fire and

kill the other guards, then Raine approaches Stiglitz's cell]
Lt. Aldo Raine: Sgt. Hugo Stiglitz?
[Stiglitz nods]
Lt. Aldo Raine: Lt. Aldo Raine. These are the Basterds, ever heard of us?
[Stiglitz nods again]
Lt. Aldo Raine: We just wanted to say we're a big fan of your work. When it comes to killing Nazis...

[one of the guards stirs and groans, and is promptly shot dead on the spot]
Lt. Aldo Raine: ... I think you show great talent. And I pride myself on having an eye for that kind of talent. But your status as a Nazi killer is still amateur. We all come here to see if you wanna go pro.

Col. Hans Landa: [to Aldo] So you're "Aldo the Apache".
Lt. Aldo Raine: So you're "the Jew Hunter".
Col. Hans Landa: A detective. A damn good dectective. Finding people is my specialty so naturally I work for the Nazis finding people, and yes some of them were Jews. But "Jew Hunter"?
Col. Hans Landa: [reacts

in disgust] It's just a name that stuck.
Pfc. Smithson Utivich: Well, you do have to admit, it is catchy.
Col. Hans Landa: Do you control the nicknames your enemies bestow on you? "Aldo the Apache" and "the Little Man"?
Pfc. Smithson Utivich: [confused] What do you mean "the Little Man"?
Col. Hans

Landa: Germans' nickname for you.
Pfc. Smithson Utivich: The Germans' nickname for me is "the Little Man"?
Col. Hans Landa: And as if to make my point, I'm a little surprised how tall you were in real life. I mean, you're a little fellow, but not circus-midget little, as your reputation would suggest.