Hard Candy Quotes

Jeff Kohlver: Look. I'm not the monster you think I am. But, okay, I crossed a line. Just call the cops. I'll turn myself in.
Hayley Stark: [as if narrating a headline] Cute Pedophile Pleads Guilty.
[speaking as a defense attorney]
Hayley Stark: "Aww, it's not his fault. He's sick. He has an addiction."
Jeff

Kohlver: I'll do jail. Isn't, isn't that what should happen?
Hayley Stark: Yeah. You might. You might get jail time. I dunno: therapy, drugs, group discussions, notifying people when you move into a new house. How bad is that, really?
Jeff Kohlver: It'll ruin my career, ruin my life.
Hayley Stark: Well, didn't Roman

Polanski just win an Oscar?

Jeff Kohlver: God, who are you?
Hayley Stark: It's hard to say for sure. Maybe not a Calabasas girl. Maybe not the daughter of a med school professor.
Jeff Kohlver: Maybe not even a friend of Donna Mauer.
Hayley Stark: Maybe not even named Hayley.
[He sighs and looks around in desperation]

Jeff Kohlver: Who the hell are you?
Hayley Stark: I am every little girl you ever watched, touched, hurt, screwed, killed.

Jeff Kohlver: Look, I'm a decent guy. Ask anyone. Go ahead. Ask these models. Call them; they'll tell you.
Hayley Stark: Of course they will. You're not an idiot, Jeff. You don't piss where you live. Those girls were your work, and I, on the other hand, was your play.
Jeff Kohlver: You were coming on to me!
Hayley

Stark: Oh, come on. That's what they always say, Jeff.
Jeff Kohlver: Who?
Hayley Stark: Who? The pedophiles! 'She was so sexy. She was asking for it.' 'Oh, she was only technically a girl, she acted like a woman.' It's just so easy to blame a kid, isn't it! Just because a girl knows how to imitate a woman does not mean she's ready to do what

a woman does.
[pause]
Hayley Stark: I mean, you're the grown-up here. If a kid is experimenting and says something flirtatious, you ignore it, you don't encourage it! If a kid says, 'Hey, let's make screwdrivers!' you take the alcohol away, and you don't race them to the next drink!

Jeff Kohlver: You've been stalking me?
Hayley Stark: Ok, ok, let's get something straight. YOU have been stalking me. I went into different chat rooms with different nicknames and you would get to know each one. And as soon as you found out they were any bit older than me you would just drop them like that. You took your time sniffing out someone my age.

Jeff Kohlver: I didn't talk to the others because they were boring. You and I connected.
Hayley Stark: [nodding sarcastically] Right.
Jeff Kohlver: Oh, come on, you think I faked all that?
Hayley Stark: You know, actually, it's kinda funny. Because every time I would mention some obscure singer or band,

you knew so much about them. But not right away, it was like a few minutes later. Maybe enough time to look them up on the web? Jeff, you used the same phrases about Goldfrapp as they do on Amazon.com. Busted! Oh and by the way, I fucking hate Goldfrapp.

Jeff Kohlver: You're getting yourself in terrible trouble.
Hayley Stark: Oh? Oh, and how's that?
Jeff Kohlver: If you cut me in any way, you won't forget it. It changes you when you hurt somebody.
Hayley Stark: Oh, and you speak from experience, I guess.
Jeff Kohlver: I've just lived.

Unlike you. The things you do wrong... they haunt you.
Hayley Stark: Tell me what you're haunted by.
Jeff Kohlver: Do you wanna remember this day when you're with a guy? On a date? On your wedding night? 'Cause I promise you, you will. Don't do that to yourself.
Hayley Stark: Wow... You know, that is so thoughtful! You are

speaking to me so selflessly! I mean, you just don't want me to castrate you for my own benefit? Wow, I'm touched. Jeff, why don't we imagine someone saying the same thing to you at a random moment? Imagine that when you downloaded this little girl... I was sitting by your side, saying, "Stop, don't do that to yourself." Would you have listened? "Stop. Don't do that to yourself."

Jeff Kohlver: [while tied down to a chair] Look, look. I've been lonely, okay? And that makes me stupid, but I am not a pedophile.
Jeff Kohlver: [talking at the same time as Hayley answers him back] Look, this is some horrible mistake. Just untie me now and we'll forget this whole thing ever happened. Just untie me now!
Hayley Stark:

Okay, well you know what? I am not lonely and therefore not stupid. I untie you, you might understandably be a little peeved. So when I am ready to go, I'll call a cab and call another one to let you loose.
Jeff Kohlver: And when will that be?
Hayley Stark: I'm not sure yet.

Jeff Kohlver: What the fuck are you doing?
Hayley Stark: That's kind of been my question, Jeff. What the FUCK are you doing? Living in a house filled with pictures of half naked teenage girls. Oh, none of whom you've ever done it with.
Jeff Kohlver: HELP! HELP! HELP!
[Hayley sprays a liquid in Jeff's mouth to silence him]

Hayley Stark: [moving Jeff closer to her] There's really no point in me taking any risks, Jeff. Technically, I could let you scream your fucking brains out and no one is gonna hear you. Yeah, I waited till today because Mr. Coughlin is at work and the Krascos, they're vacationing in Santa Barbara. Still, I can't have some pedestrian just happening by as you're screaming so SHUT

UP or next time, it's gonna be bleach, okay?

Hayley Stark: Seriously. It turns out that castration is like the easiest surgical procedure around, and thousands of farm boys across the country geld their own livestock. So I figured, if they can do it, then I can pull it off, if you know what I mean.
Jeff Kohlver: I'm not fucking livestock.
Hayley Stark: You keep telling yourself

that, stud.