Guardians of the Galaxy Quotes

Peter Quill: I have a plan.
Rocket Raccoon: You've got a plan? Okay, first of all, you're copying me from when I said I had a plan.
Peter Quill: I'm not copying you, I have a plan, that's not that unique of a thing to say.
Rocket Raccoon: And secondly, I don't think you even have a plan.
Peter

Quill: I have part of a plan.
Drax the Destroyer: What percentage of a plan do you have?
Gamora: You don't get to ask questions after the nonsense you pulled on Knowhere!
Drax the Destroyer: I just saved Quill!
Peter Quill: We've already established that you destroying the ship I'm on is not

saving me!
Drax the Destroyer: When did we establish that?
Peter Quill: Like three seconds ago!
Drax the Destroyer: Well I wasn't listening then, I was thinking of something else...
Rocket Raccoon: She's right, you don't get an opinion... What percentage?
Peter Quill: I dunno...

Twelve percent?
Rocket Raccoon: Twelve percent?
[starts laughing]
Peter Quill: That's a fake laugh.
Rocket Raccoon: It's real!
Peter Quill: Totally fake!
Rocket Raccoon: That is the most real, authentic, hysterical laugh of my entire life because THAT IS NOT A PLAN!

Gamora: It's barely a concept.
Peter Quill: [to Gamora] You're taking their side?
Groot: I am Groot.
Rocket Raccoon: So what, "It's better than eleven percent!" What the hell does that have to do with anything?
Peter Quill: [to Groot] Thank you Groot, thank you. See? Groot's the only

one of you who has a clue.
Groot: [Groot begins to chew on a leaf protruding from his shoulder]

Peter Quill: Yeah, I'll have to agree with the walking thesaurus on that one.
Drax the Destroyer: DO NOT ever call me a thesaurus.
Peter Quill: It's just a metaphor, dude.
Rocket Raccoon: His people are completely literal. Metaphors go over his head.
Drax the Destroyer: *Nothing* goes

over my head...! My reflexes are too fast, I would catch it.

Gamora: I'm a warrior, an assassin. I don't dance.
Peter Quill: Really? Well, on my planet, we have a legend about people like you. It's called Footloose. And in it, a great hero, named Kevin Bacon, teaches an entire city full of people with sticks up their butts that, dancing, well, is the greatest thing there is.
Gamora: ...Who put

the sticks up their butts?

Groot: I am Groot.
Peter Quill: Well that's just as fascinating as the first 89 times you told me that. What is wrong with Giving Tree here?
Rocket Raccoon: Well he don't know talkin' good like me and you, so his vocabulistics is limited to "I" and "am" and "Groot," exclusively in that order.
Peter Quill: Well

I tell you what, that's gonna wear real thin, real fast, bud.

Drax the Destroyer: I just wanted to tell you how grateful I am that you've accepted me despite my blunders. It is good to once again be among friends. You, Quill, are my friend.
Peter Quill: Thanks.
Drax the Destroyer: This dumb tree is also my friend.
[Groot grunts]
Drax the Destroyer: And this green

whore is also...
Gamora: Oh, you must stop!

Rocket Raccoon: But Quill, beating Ronan... it can't be done. You're asking us to die.
Peter Quill: Yeah... I guess I am.
[pause]
Gamora: [stands up] Quill, I have lived most of my life surrounded my enemies. I will be grateful to die among my friends.
Drax the Destroyer: [stands up] You're an honorable

man, Quill. I will fight beside you. And in the end, I will see my wife and daughter.
Groot: [stands up] I am Groot.
Rocket Raccoon: Aww, what the hell, I don't got that long a lifespan anyway...
[stands up]
Rocket Raccoon: Well now I'm standing. Happy? We're all standing now. Bunch of jackasses, standing in a circle.

Rhomann Dey: Peter Jason Quill. He's also known as Star-Lord.
Nova Corps Officer: Who calls him that?
Rhomann Dey: Himself, mostly. Wanted mostly on charges of minor assault, public intoxication and fraud...
[Quill winds up his finger and flips the bird at the screen which reads: OBSCENE GESTURE ALERT]
Peter

Quill: Oh, I'm sorry. I don't know how this machine works...

Peter Quill: [about Gamora] She betrayed Ronan, he's coming for her. That's when you...
[draws his finger across his throat in a cutthroat gesture]
Drax the Destroyer: ...Why would I want to put my finger on his throat?
Peter Quill: No, that's the symbol for slicing his throat.
Drax the Destroyer: I

would not slice his throat, I would cut his head clean off.
Peter Quill: It's a general expression for you killing somebody. You've heard of this. You've seen this, right? You know what that is.

Rocket Raccoon: If we're gonna get outta here, we gonna need to get into that watch tower, and to do that, I'm gonna need a few things. The guards wear security bands to control their ins and outs. I need one.
Gamora: Leave it to me.
Rocket Raccoon: That dude there. I need his prosthetic leg.
Peter Quill: His

leg?
Rocket Raccoon: Yeah. God knows I don't need the rest of him. Look at him. He's useless.
Peter Quill: ...All right.
Rocket Raccoon: And finally, on the wall back there is a black panel. Blinky yellow light. You see it?
Peter Quill: Yeah.
Rocket Raccoon: There's a quarnex

battery behind it. Purplish box. Green wires. To get into that watch tower, I definitely need it.
Gamora: How are we supposed to do that?
Rocket Raccoon: Well, supposedly, these bald bodies find you attractive, so maybe you could work out some sort of trade.
[Groot starts walking toward the panel]
Gamora: You must be

joking.
Rocket Raccoon: No, I really heard they find you attractive.
Peter Quill: Look. It's 20 feet up in the air and it's in the middle of the most heavily guarded part of the prison. It's impossible to get up there without being seen.
Rocket Raccoon: I got one plan, and that plan requires this frickin' quarnex battery, so

FIGURE IT OUT!
[Groot removes the panel, which hits a passing inmate on the head and knocks him out]
Rocket Raccoon: Can I get back to it? Thanks.
[Drax spots Groot trying to remove the battery]
Rocket Raccoon: Now, this is important. Once the battery is removed, everything is gonna slam into emergency mode. Once we have it, we gotta

move quickly, so you definitely need to get that last.
[Groot removes the battery, setting off the alarms]
Rocket Raccoon: Or we could just get it first and improvise.
Gamora: I'll get the armband.
Peter Quill: Leg.