Kurt McKenzie: I can't believe nobody's even scared of a black guy anymore! Damn you, Obama!
[first lines]
[a deer walks into the bedroom]
Lenny Feder: Sweetheart.
Roxanne Chase-Feder: Mmm?
Lenny Feder: Go over to the window right now and open it as wide as you can.
Roxanne Chase-Feder: Please let me sleep.
Lenny Feder: I think your mother's here from Mexico, and
she needs to leave. Open the window now.
Bean Lamonsoff: Confidence. K-O-B-R-Q-V-Y. Confidence.
Eric Lamonsoff: Well, we're not gonna have to pay for college. That's for sure.
Eric Lamonsoff: Hold up. Hang on. I got a burpsnart coming up.
[burps, sneezes and farts]
Lenny Feder: You got to teach me how you do that.
Eric Lamonsoff: A burpsnart? It's simple. You just start with a burp, then you sniff with a sneeze, you get the going, and that triggers a fart, always.
Frat Boy Andy: This is Kappa Eta Sigma property. So you might want to quit perving on our ladies and get back to your trailer homes.
Lenny Feder: Okay, easy there, Abercrombile. I think it's... I think we've been around here longer than you. Been swimming here since we were eight years old, so you just calm down a little bit.
Frat Boy
Andy: I'm sure it was the bomb! Cranking to your Al Jolsson tunes on your transistor radio. But it's the 21st century now. And Thicky Thick and the Flabber Bunch should never take their shirts off. Never.
Lenny Feder: That hurts.
Eric Lamonsoff: Okay, I guess I'm Thicky Thick.
Lenny Feder: Yeah, well, I don't like
being in the Flabby Bunch, either.
Eric Lamonsoff: Whoa. Okay, you sure you want to go with those boots, honey? I know you bedazzled them yourself. I'm just wondering if they'll attract too much attention, you know, from outer space.
Donna Lamonsoff: It's the last day of school, and Mom said I'm free to express myself.
Eric Lamonsoff: Oh, building the confidence right
there with R2-D2.