Get Him to the Greek
Get Him to the Greek

Sergio Roma: You've been mind-fucked before?
Aaron Green: I don't think so.
Sergio Roma: I'm mind-fucking you right now.
Aaron Green: You are?
Sergio Roma: Can't you feel my dick fucking your mind?
Aaron Green: No, I can't really feel anything.

Sergio Roma: See? That's it. That's the art of it. I'm mind-fucking the shit out of you.
Aaron Green: Well I hope you're wearing a condom cause I have a dirty mind.

Get Him to the Greek
Get Him to the Greek

Aldous Snow: When the world slips you a Jeffrey, stroke the furry wall.

Get Him to the Greek
Get Him to the Greek

Aaron Green: [as Sergio is chasing after them in a hotel lobby] This is the longest hallway of all time!
Aldous Snow: It's Kubrickian!

Get Him to the Greek
Get Him to the Greek

Sergio Roma: I've got six fuckin' kids! Do you know how many Air Jordans six black kids wear?

Get Him to the Greek
Get Him to the Greek

Aldous Snow: I labored under the myth of monogamy for sever years with Jackie and it was pointless.
Aaron Green: So you only slept with Jackie?
Aldous Snow: No, I slept with other people but I always told her about it. Monogamy.

Get Him to the Greek
Get Him to the Greek

Aldous Snow: What you did was very spiteful, but it was also very brave and very honest and I respect you for doing that. But the content of what you said has made me hate you. So there's a layer of respect, admittedly, for your truthfulness, but it's peppered with hate. Hateful respect.

Get Him to the Greek
Get Him to the Greek

Sergio Roma: This is what old pussy used to look like in the 70's.

Get Him to the Greek
Get Him to the Greek

Aldous Snow: I was watching the news one day and I saw footage about, uh, war, and I think it was Darfur, or Zimbabwe, or Rwanda, or one of 'em, and I thought, 'this isn't right, is it?' And I made some phone calls and it turns out, it isn't.

Get Him to the Greek
Get Him to the Greek

Aaron Green: I think I just got raped.
Aldous Snow: [handing him a joint] Only one thing to do.
Aaron Green: [taking a hit] Uh, guys? What is this stuff? My heart's going really fast.
Aldous Snow: Oh, it's a bit of this, a bit of that. It's called a Jeffrey. It's mostly weed, with a bit of opium as well...

ground-up E's... heroin... Clorox...
Aaron Green: I think I'm having a heart attack.

Get Him to the Greek
Get Him to the Greek

Limousine Driver in London: Would you like me to take the Chiswick roundabout through Hounslow and Staines?
Aaron Green: What is this, fucking Middle Earth? Just take us to the airport, okay.

Get Him to the Greek
Get Him to the Greek

Aldous Snow: [Lars Ulrich enters scene] Oh, Enter Sandman.

Get Him to the Greek
Get Him to the Greek

Aaron Green: Do you know the lyrics to "African Child"?
Smiling African Drummer: I don't know the lyrics. I just bang the drum and do the African face.
[He shows Aaron his version of playing the African drum]

Get Him to the Greek
Get Him to the Greek

Aaron Green: [at a club] What's up man?
Tom Felton: Hey.
Aaron Green: I'm here with Aldous Snow, so we have a table in the back.
Tom Felton: [not interested] Great.
Aaron Green: Feel free to bring Professor Snape. Come by, we'll play some late night Quidditch.
Tom

Felton: Just leave it, you...
[walks away]
Aaron Green: Right. Not everyone cares.

Get Him to the Greek
Get Him to the Greek

Jackie Q: [sung] One, two, three, four, it's just like comin' in the back door. Five, six, seven, eight, uhh, feels great. A ring, a ring, a ring around my rosy. My little pocket is so fit and so damn cozy. Ring, a ring, a ring around my rosy. All the boys in town say I've the prettiest of posies. A ring around my rosy, my pocket's so damn cozy, and my posy, my posy. I'm talking

about my asshole.

Get Him to the Greek
Get Him to the Greek

Aldous Snow: We're gonna fuck these two girls.
Aaron Green: I just got out of a relationship.
Aldous Snow: Was your ex a blonde or brunette?
Aaron Green: Brunette.
Aldous Snow: Blonde it is.

Get Him to the Greek
Get Him to the Greek

Jackie Q: The old Aldous, would've you know, had his way with you he would have bent you over that pretty little chair and had his way and now we'd be having a three way you'd be coming over for a cognac later I'll tell you that sweetie. You bet that's not happening anymore.
Aldous Snow: Do you want me to start drinking again? Is that what you'd like? You

want me to return to that?
Jackie Q: Maybe you should. Maybe you should.
Aldous Snow: I'll do lines off her forehead while I'm in her up to my nuts. Is that what you want?
Jackie Q: I'm just saying.

Get Him to the Greek
Get Him to the Greek

Aldous Snow: [as he is watching TV] Didn't I have sex with her once?
[Aldous sees Sarah Marshall on TV]
Aldous Snow: Yeah, I did.

Get Him to the Greek
Get Him to the Greek

Jonathan Snow: That's the best part about the Jeffrey. It goes away and then it comes back.

Get Him to the Greek
Get Him to the Greek

Sergio Roma: Where are you? Why haven't you called? I'm calling you right now and I just got hit by a motherfucking car.

Get Him to the Greek
Get Him to the Greek

Aaron Green: I feel like I'm in "2 Fast 2 Furious."