Galaxy Quest Quotes

Voice of Computer: Negative, there is no replacement Beryllium Sphere on board.
Gwen DeMarco: [to crew] No, there is no replacement Beryllium Sphere on board.
Tommy Webber: You know, that is really getting annoying!
Gwen DeMarco: [shouts] Look! I have one job on this lousy ship, it's *stupid*, but I'm gonna do

it! Okay?
Tommy Webber: Sure, no problem.

[Gwen and Jason encounter the chompers]
Gwen DeMarco: What is this thing? I mean, it serves no useful purpose for there to be a bunch of chompy, crushy things in the middle of a hallway. No, I mean we shouldn't have to do this, it makes no logical sense, why is it here?
Jason Nesmith: 'Cause it's on the television show.
Gwen

DeMarco: Well forget it! I'm not doing it! This episode was badly written!

[Quellek has been shot, and is dying. Alexander rushes to him]
Sir Alexander Dane: Quellek?
[sees Quellek's wound]
Sir Alexander Dane: That's not too bad. We'll get you to the medical quarters, and you'll be fine.
Quellek: It has been my greatest pleasure to serve with you. I have been blessed, Sir. I... I... I...

Sir Alexander Dane: Don't speak, Quellek.
Quellek: You'll forgive my impertinence, Sir, but even though we have never before met, I have always considered you as a father to me.
Sir Alexander Dane: Quellek... by Grabthar's hammer... by the Suns of Worvan... you shall be... avenged.

[the crew is on a shuttle descending to an alien planet]
Guy Fleegman: I changed my mind. I wanna go back.
Sir Alexander Dane: After the fuss you made about getting left behind?
Guy Fleegman: Yeah, but that's when I thought I was the crewman that stays on the ship, and something is up there, and it kills me. But now I'm

thinking I'm the guy who gets killed by some monster five minutes after we land on the planet.
Jason Nesmith: You're not gonna die on the planet, Guy.
Guy Fleegman: I'm not? Then what's my last name?
Jason Nesmith: It's, uh, uh - -I don't know.
Guy Fleegman: Nobody knows. Do you know why? Because my

character isn't important enough for a last name, because I'm gonna die five minutes in.
Gwen DeMarco: Guy, you have a last name.
Guy Fleegman: DO I? DO I? For all you know, I'm "Crewman Number Six"! Mommy... mommy...
Sir Alexander Dane: Are we there yet?

[the rock monster chases Nesmith]
Alexander Dane: You're just going to have to kill it.
Jason Nesmith: Kill it? Well, I'm open to any suggestions.
Tommy Webber: Go for the eyes, like in episode 22!
Jason Nesmith: He doesn't have any eyes, Tommy!
Tommy Webber: Go for the mouth,

then, the throat, his vulnerable spots!
Jason Nesmith: It's a rock! It doesn't have any vulnerable spots!
Guy Fleegman: I know! You construct a weapon. Look around, can you form some sort of rudimentary lathe?

[Fred tries to digitize the pig-lizard with disastrous results]
Jason Nesmith: What? What was that?
Alexander Dane: Uh, nothing.
Jason Nesmith: I heard some squealing or something.
Gwen DeMarco: Oh, no. Everything's fine.
Teb: But the animal is inside out.
Jason

Nesmith: I heard that! It turned inside out?
[the pig-lizard explodes]
Teb: And it exploded.
Jason Nesmith: Did I just hear that the animal turned inside out, and then it EXPLODED? Hello?
Gwen DeMarco: [Flipping a bit of pig-lizard off her communicator] Hold, please.

Brandon Wheeger: I just wanted to tell you that I thought a lot about what you said.
Jason Nesmith: It's okay, now listen...
Brandon Wheeger: But I want you to know that I'm not a complete brain case, okay? I understand completely that it's just a TV show. I know there's no beryllium sphere...
Jason Nesmith:

Hold it.
Brandon Wheeger: no digital conveyor, no ship...
Jason Nesmith: Stop for a second, stop. It's all real.
Brandon Wheeger: Oh my God, I knew it. I knew it! I knew it!