[Dr. Paulson is going to pull the alien bug out through Harry's rectum]
Nurse Tate: I'll get the lubricant...
Dr. Paulson: There's no time for lubricant!
Harry Block: There's ALWAYS time for lubricant!
[Harry has just had an alien removed rectally]
Dr. Allison Reed: It's over, it's over. You did great! Do you need anything? Can we get you anything?
Harry Block: Ice cream... I'd like an ice cream please.
Dr. Allison Reed: Okay, what flavor?
Harry Block: It doesn't matter. It's for my ass.
Ira Kane: If I was a giant nasty alien bird in a department store, where would I be?
Harry Block: Lingerie.
Ira Kane: Not you, the bird.
Harry Block: Lingerie.
Harry Block: Great googa-mooga!
[after an alien bug crawls into his body]
Harry Block: For the love of everything good and holy, get this goddamn thing out of me!
Dr. Allison Reed: There's something I feel I should tell you, but I don't know exactly how.
Ira Kane: Well, just say it. We're adults and we're all about to die a very horrible death soon anyway, so?
Dr. Allison Reed: I would've rocked your world.
Ira Kane: You already have.
Brigadier Gen. Russell Woodman: I didn't know you were coming to see the show, sir.
Governor Lewis: Well, you damn well better make it a good one, Sergeant!
Brigadier Gen. Russell Woodman: That's General.
Governor Lewis: Not if you screw this up.
Harry Block: I'm no biologist, but how many cells do single-celled organisms have?
Ira Kane: Harry, if we're going to be big important scientists you have to start to act the part.
[as Allison introduces herself, she trips and falls, and her skirt rides up]
Ira Kane: A garter belt? At a day function?
Ira Kane: Give me back my friend, you big sphincter!
Ira Kane: Ira Kane, head of the science department, Glen Canyon Community College.
Harry Block: Harry Block, United States Geological Survey.
Wayne Grey: Wayne Grey. I took some chemistry in high school.
Harry Block: So, do they give the Nobel Prize out in yearly payments or is it just one lump sum, like the lottery?
Ira Kane: Let's not get ahead of ourselves.
Harry Block: Oh, I'm not getting ahead of myself. I've very concerned about the potential tax consequences.
Ira Kane: [after an alien fly is pulled out of Harry's rectum] You should have seen the size of that thing you had inside you, it was like this!
[measures with his hands]
Ira Kane: You took it like a man.
Ira Kane: You wouldn't understand.
Dr. Allison Reed: No, how could I? I'm just a humorless ice maiden in desperate need of a good humping.
Ira Kane: Oh... you heard that, huh?
Dr. Allison Reed: Loud and clear.
Nadine: I really need these credits to get into nursing school.
Harry Block: Nursing school? Don't you think you'd be happier in a different profession, one where people's lives were NOT dependent on you?
Governor Lewis: I oughta throw the whole goddamn, jacked-up bunch of you in prison. No, not that cushy federal place with the loose jumpsuits. *State prison*... with the crotch binders!
