EuroTrip
EuroTrip

Scott: I saw a gay porno once. I didn't know until halfway in. The girls never came. The girls never came!

EuroTrip
EuroTrip

Hooligan: So I tell the swamp donkey to sock it before I give her a trunky in the tradesman's entrance and have her lick me yarbles!
[laughs]
Cooper: Wow. You guys are on like a completely different level of swearing over here.

EuroTrip
EuroTrip

[repeated line]
Cooper: This isn't where I parked my car.

EuroTrip
EuroTrip

Scott: Let me handle this, I speak better German. Hello!
Truck Driver: Hello!
Scott: [in German] My German is ill, but I can understand on you if the speaking is slowly.
Truck Driver: [in German] German! I have been driving for 14 hours straight and I haven't slept in three days and I am wired on schnapps, benzedrine, and those little

chocolate covered peanuts.
Cooper: What did he say?
Scott: He said he's driving, something...
Scott: [in German] Do you know where is Berlin?
Truck Driver: [in German] Berlin? Yes, I know it well. I stabbed a woman in a bar in Berlin. But I am going nowhere near Berlin.
Scott: Berlin!

Truck Driver: [in German] Berlin! I also sexually assaulted a horse in Berlin.
Scott: He's going to Berlin.
Jamie: Awesome.
Truck Driver: [in German] Nowhere near Berlin.
Scott: All right, come on, let's go.
[the group get in the back of the truck]
Truck Driver: [to self, in German] I'll drive this truck

off a cliff before I ever go back to Berlin.

EuroTrip
EuroTrip

Cooper: Oh, here it is. Bratislava. Hmm. Capital of Slovakia. Oh, here's a fun fact: You made out with your sister, man!

EuroTrip
EuroTrip

[unrated DVD version]
[excerpts seen during original version credits]
Hostel Clerk: Hello, and welcome to Amsterdam's finest and most luxurious youth hostel. We feature one medium sized room containing 70 beds which can sleep up to 375 bodies a night. There is no bathroom. Nor is there one nearby. If you do not wish to have your valuables stolen I suggest destroying

them or discarding them right now. You can also try hiding your valuables. In your anus. This will deter some but of course not all thieves. Once you are inside, the doors are chained and locked from the outside. They will not be opened again until morning, no matter what. Should a fire occur due to our faulty wiring or, uh, the fireworks factory upstairs you will be incinerated along with the

valuables that you have hidden in your anus. Tips are greatly appreciated.

EuroTrip
EuroTrip

Cooper: I'm taking a nap. Wake me up when the train gets here.
Jenny: It says here this town has a famous nude beach.
Cooper: Alright, look, we can't all just lie around all day, we've got to get out there and experience the culture first hand!

EuroTrip
EuroTrip

Madame Vandersexxx: Administer the testicle clamps!

EuroTrip
EuroTrip

[outtake during credits]
Mad Maynard: Fuck off! Get out of it, you wankers! Go on, you Gallic fucking garlic-breath tossers! Piss off! Get in here and say that, mate! Come on! Fucking come and have it! You fucking beep? We'll beep, you bastard, all over your fucking nose! Fuck off! Go on, you French bastards! Get on the other side of the road, you pricks! Go on out of it!

Fuck off! I'm knackered.

EuroTrip
EuroTrip

Waiter: [Scottie tosses the waiter a nickel] Ah! A nickel!
[waiter shows his manager]
Waiter: You see this?
[slaps the manager]
Waiter: I quit. I open my own hotel.

EuroTrip
EuroTrip

[after taking a drink of Absinthe]
Jamie: I gotta say, I'm not feeling anything.
Cooper: Me neither.
Scott: Sober as a judge.
[to a hallucinatory green fairy]
Scott: How about you?
Green Fairy: I'm not feelin' a goddamn thing. This Absinthe is BULLSHIT!

EuroTrip
EuroTrip

Scott: Uh-oh.
Jamie: What?
Scott: Big tunnel.
Creepy Italian Guy: [grins maniacally as the train drives into darkness]
Jamie: [in the commotion] Scotty, is that you? WHO'S TOUCHING ME?

EuroTrip
EuroTrip

[repeated line]
Cooper: You guys are the worst twins ever.

EuroTrip
EuroTrip

[Creepy Italian Guy massages Jamie's shoulders]
Jamie: What-what the hell are you doing?
Creepy Italian Guy: Oh, scuzi, mi scuzi.
[massages harder]

EuroTrip
EuroTrip

Scott: A dollar and 83 cents American. What are we gonna get with that?
[cut to a lavish Slovak hotel]
Scott: Gotta love that exchange rate!

EuroTrip
EuroTrip

Scott: [after being told they can get a flight to London] Anything else?
Cooper: Europe is like the size of the Eastwood Mall. We can walk to Berlin from there.
Scott: Cooper, England's an island.
Cooper: OK, swim, whatever. We'll take it.

EuroTrip
EuroTrip

Cooper: Hello Mr. Walters... I see... fired? Well, I... Well, if that's what you want, I understand... goodbye, sir.
Scott: They had to catch you eventually.
Cooper: No, they fired Humphrey.
Scott: Shut up!
Cooper: I got his office and a raise!

EuroTrip
EuroTrip

Cooper: This is DEFINITELY where I parked my car.

EuroTrip
EuroTrip

Robot Man: [in French] Ow! My robot balls! Error! Error! Error!

EuroTrip
EuroTrip

Cooper: You know America was founded by prudes. Prudes who left Europe because they hated all the kinky, steamy European sex that was going on. And now I, Cooper Harris, will return to the land of my perverted forefathers and claim my birthright... which is a series of erotic and sexually challenging adventures.
Scott: You've really thaught a lot about

this, haven't you?
Cooper: It's my passion!