Ed Wood
Ed Wood

Orson Welles: Visions are worth fighting for. Why spend your life making someone else's dreams?

Ed Wood
Ed Wood

Conrad Brooks: Mr. Lugosi? I know you're very busy, but, um... can I have your autograph?
Bela Lugosi: Certainly.
Conrad Brooks: You know which movie of yours I love, Mr. Lugosi? The Invisible Ray. You were great as Karloff's sidekick.
Bela Lugosi: Karloff? Sidekick? FUCK YOU! Karloff does not deserve to smell

my shit! That limey cocksucker can rot in Hell for all I care!
Edward D. Wood, Jr.: What happened?
Bela Lugosi: How dare that asshole bring up Karloff? You think it takes talent to play Frankenstein? It's all makeup and grunting!
[mocks Frankenstein]
Edward D. Wood, Jr.: Bela, I agree with you 100%. Now, "Dracula,"

that's a role that requires talent.
Bela Lugosi: Of course. Dracula requires presence. It's all in the eyes, and the voice, and the hands...
Edward D. Wood, Jr.: That's right. That's right. You seem a little agitated. You wanna to go outside and get some air?
Bela Lugosi: Bullshit! I'm ready now! Roll the camera!

Ed Wood
Ed Wood

[At the "Plan 9" premiere]
Edward D. Wood, Jr.: This is the one. 'This' is the one I'll be remembered for.

Ed Wood
Ed Wood

Bela Lugosi: Home? I have no home. Hunted... despised... living like an animal. The jungle is my home! But I will show the world that I can be its master. I shall perfect my own race of people... a race of atomic supermen that will conquer the world!

Ed Wood
Ed Wood

Edward D. Wood, Jr.: [after Thor Johnson bumps into a scenery wall while walking through a door making the wall shudder] Ok, and CUT! PERFECT! PRINT IT!
Cameraman Bill: Don't you wanna do another take Ed? Seems like big baldy had some problems gettin' through that door.
Edward D. Wood, Jr.: No, it's fine. It's real. You know, in

actuality, Lobo would have to struggle with this problem every day.

Ed Wood
Ed Wood

Edward D. Wood, Jr.: Listen, I was wondering if you'd like to go out sometime, grab some dinner, maybe?
Vampira: You mean a date? I thought you were a fag.
Edward D. Wood, Jr.: No, no, I'm just a transvestite.

Ed Wood
Ed Wood

Edward D. Wood, Jr.: We don't have a permit. Run!

Ed Wood
Ed Wood

[Bunny Breckenridge is being baptized]
Reverend Lemon: Welcome to the fold, brother. Welcome. Praise the lord, brother. Do you reject Satan and all his evils?
Bunny Breckinridge: Sure.
[after his baptism, Bunny swims towards Ed Wood]
Bunny Breckinridge: How do you do it? How do you get all your friends to get baptized

just so you can make a monster movie?
Edward D. Wood, Jr.: It's not a monster movie. It's a supernatural thriller.

Ed Wood
Ed Wood

Bela Lugosi: This is the most uncomfortable coffin I've ever been in. Your selection is quite shoddy. You are wasting my time.

Ed Wood
Ed Wood

Edward D. Wood, Jr.: Do you know that I've even had producers re-cut my movies?
Orson Welles: I hate when that happens.
Edward D. Wood, Jr.: And they always want to cast their buddies. It doesn't even matter if they're right for the part.
Orson Welles: Tell me about it. I'm supposed to do a thriller for

Universal. They want Charlton Heston as a Mexican.

Ed Wood
Ed Wood

Dr. Tom Mason: [They are all sitting in a pew in the Baptist church, during a church ceremony; impersonating Bela Lugosi] I want to suck your blood. I want to suck your blood!
Bunny Breckinridge: Let's hear you call Boris Karloff a cocksucker.

Ed Wood
Ed Wood

Dolores Fuller: Ed, what's *my* motivation?
Edward D. Wood, Jr.: You're the file clerk. You're running into the next room and you run into Janet.
Dolores Fuller: But are we good friends or is she just a casual acquaintance?
Edward D. Wood, Jr.: Dolores, I have five days to complete this picture. Don't get

goofy on me.

Ed Wood
Ed Wood

[Stepping into water]
Bela Lugosi: GODDAMN, it's cold!
Edward D. Wood, Jr.: It'll warm up once you're in it.
Bela Lugosi: FUCK YOU! You come out here!

Ed Wood
Ed Wood

Edward D. Wood, Jr.: [on phone with Mr. Feldman] Really? Worst film you ever saw. Well, my next one will be better. Hello. Hello.

Ed Wood
Ed Wood

Edward D. Wood, Jr.: What are you drinking, Bela?
Bela Lugosi: Formaldehyde
Edward D. Wood, Jr.: Straight up or on the rocks?

Ed Wood
Ed Wood

Edward D. Wood, Jr.: And cut! Print. We're moving on. That was perfect.
Ed Reynolds: Perfect? Mr. Wood, do you know anything about the art of film production?
Edward D. Wood, Jr.: Well, I like to think so.
Ed Reynolds: That cardboard headstone tipped over. This graveyard is obviously phony.

Edward D. Wood, Jr.: Nobody will ever notice that. Filmmaking is not about the tiny details. It's about the big picture.
Ed Reynolds: The big picture?
Edward D. Wood, Jr.: Yes.
Ed Reynolds: Then how 'bout when the policemen arrived in daylight, but now it's suddenly night?
Edward D. Wood,

Jr.: What do you know? Haven't you heard of suspension of disbelief?

Ed Wood
Ed Wood

Criswell: Eddie, we're in show biz. It's all about razzle-dazzle. Appearances. If you look good, and you talk well, people will swallow anything.

Ed Wood
Ed Wood

Edward D. Wood, Jr.: Why, if I had half a chance, I could make an entire movie using this stock footage. The story opens on these mysterious explosions. Nobody knows what's causing them, but it's upsetting all the buffalo. So, the military are called in to solve the mystery.
Editor on Studio Lot: You forgot the octopus.
Edward D. Wood,

Jr.: No, no, I'm saving that for my big underwater climax.

Ed Wood
Ed Wood

Bunny Breckinridge: What about glitter? When I was a headliner in Paris, audiences always liked it when I sparkled.
Edward D. Wood, Jr.: No!
Bunny Breckinridge: Cat's Eyes.
Edward D. Wood, Jr.: No!
Bunny Breckinridge: Well, I'm going to need some antennae.
Edward D. Wood,

Jr.: No! You're the ruler of the galaxy! Show a little taste!

Ed Wood
Ed Wood

[on the phone to Bunny]
Edward D. Wood, Jr.: Listen, hit the bars, work some parties, and get me transvestites. I need transvestites. All right. Bye.
Bela Lugosi: Eddie, what kind of a movie is this?