Donnie Darko Quotes

Ronald Fisher: Beer and pussy. That's all I need.
Sean Smith: We gotta find ourselves a Smurfette.
Ronald Fisher: Smurfette?
Sean Smith: Mm-hmm. Not some, like, tight-ass Middlesex chick, you know? Like, this cute little blonde that will get down and dirty with the guys. Like Smurfette does.

Donnie: Smurfette doesn't fuck.
Sean Smith: That's bullshit. Smurfette fucks all the other Smurfs. Why do you think Papa Smurf made her? Because all the other Smurfs were getting too horny.
Ronald Fisher: No, no, no, not Vanity. I heard he was a homosexual.
Sean Smith: Okay, well, you know what? Then she fucks

them while Vanity watches. Okay?
Ronald Fisher: What about Papa Smurf? I mean, he must get in on all the action.
Sean Smith: Yeah, what he does, he films the gang-bang. Later on, he beats off to the tape.
Donnie: [matter-of-factly] First of all, Papa Smurf didn't create Smurfette. Gargamel did. She was sent in as Gargamel's

evil spy with the intention of destroying the Smurf village. But the overwhelming goodness of the Smurf way of life transformed her. And as for the whole gang-bang scenario - It just couldn't happen. Smurfs are asexual. They don't even have reproductive organs under those little white pants. That's what's so illogical, you know, about being a Smurf. What's the point of living... if you don't have

a dick?
Ronald Fisher: [pause] Damn it, Donnie. Why do you gotta get so smart on us?

Donnie: You're such a fuck-ass!
Rose Darko: Please.
Elizabeth: What? Did you just call me a "fuck-ass"?
Rose Darko: Elizabeth, that's enough.
Elizabeth: You can go suck a fuck.
Donnie: Oh, please, tell me, Elizabeth, how exactly does one suck a fuck?

Elizabeth: You want me to tell you?
Donnie: Please, tell me.
Rose Darko: We will not have this at the dinner table.
Donnie: [Mouthing] I'm all ears!

Donnie: Well, life isn't that simple. I mean, who cares if Ling Ling returns the wallet and keeps the money? It has nothing to do with either fear or love.
Kitty Farmer: Fear and love are the deepest of human emotions.
Donnie: Okay. But you're not listening to me. There are other things that need to be taken into account here, like

the whole spectrum of human emotion. You can't just lump everything into these two categories and then just deny everything else.

Dr. Lilian Thurman: Do you feel alone right now?
Donnie: Oh, I don't know. I mean, I'd like to believe I'm not, but I just... I've just never seen any proof, so I... I just don't debate it anymore, you know? It's like I could spend my whole life debating it over and over again, weighing the pros and cons. And in the end, I still wouldn't have any proof. So

I just... I just don't debate it anymore. It's absurd.
Dr. Lilian Thurman: The search for God is absurd?
Donnie: It is if everyone dies alone.
Dr. Lilian Thurman: Does that scare you?
Donnie: I don't want to be alone.

Jim Cunningham: Son... Do you see this?
Donnie: Right?
Jim Cunningham: This is an anger prisoner. A textbook example.
Donnie: Anger prisoner.
Jim Cunningham: Do you see the fear, people? This boy is scared to death of the truth. Son, it breaks my heart to say this, but I believe you are

a very troubled and confused young man. I believe you are searching for the answers in all the wrong places.
Donnie: You're right, actually. I am pretty... I'm pretty troubled and I'm pretty confused, but I... And I'm afraid. Really, really afraid. Really afraid. But I-I think you're the fucking Antichrist.

Donnie: [in a letter] Dear Roberta Sparrow, I have reached the end of your book and there are so many things that I need to ask you. Sometimes I'm afraid of what you might tell me. Sometimes I'm afraid that you'll tell me that this is not a work of fiction. I can only hope that the answers will come to me in my sleep. I hope that when the world comes to an end, I can breathe a

sigh of relief, because there will be so much to look forward to.

[from the Extended and Deleted Scenes. The class is discussing "Watership Down"]
Karen Pommeroy: When the other rabbits hear of Fiver's vision, do they believe him?
Donnie: Why should we care?
Karen Pommeroy: Because the rabbits are us, Donnie.
Donnie: Why should I mourn for a rabbit like it was human?

Karen Pommeroy: Are you saying that the death of one species is less tragic than another?
Donnie: Of course. The rabbit's not like us. It has no history books, no photographs, no knowledge of sorrow or regret. I mean, I'm sorry, Miss Pommeroy. Don't get me wrong. You know, I like rabbits and all. They're cute and they're horny. And if you're cute and

you're horny, then you're probably happy that you don't know who you are or why you're even alive. You just wanna have sex as many times as possible before you die. I just don't see the point in crying over a dead rabbit, you know, who never even feared death to begin with.

Dr. Lilian Thurman: Do you still think about girls a lot?
Donnie: [Under hypnosis] Yeah.
Dr. Lilian Thurman: How are things going at school?
Donnie: I think about girls a lot.
Dr. Lilian Thurman: I asked you about school, Donnie.
Donnie: I think about fucking a

lot during school.
Dr. Lilian Thurman: What else do you think about during school?
Donnie: Married with Children.
Dr. Lilian Thurman: Do you think about your family?
Donnie: I just turn down the volume and think about fucking Christina Applegate.
Dr. Lilian Thurman: I asked you

about your family, Donnie.
Donnie: [Chuckling] No. I don't think about fucking my family. That's gross.