Die Hard
Die Hard

Hans Gruber: [on the radio] Mr. Mystery Guest? Are you still there?
John McClane: Yeah, I'm still here. Unless you wanna open the front door for me.
Hans Gruber: Uh, no, I'm afraid not. But, you have me at a loss. You know my name but who are you? Just another American who saw too many movies as a child? Another orphan of a bankrupt

culture who thinks he's John Wayne? Rambo? Marshal Dillon?
John McClane: Was always kinda partial to Roy Rogers actually. I really like those sequined shirts.
Hans Gruber: Do you really think you have a chance against us, Mr. Cowboy?
John McClane: Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker.

Die Hard
Die Hard

Supervisor: [as McClane tries to call up police] Attention, whoever you are, this channel is reserved for emergency calls only.
John McClane: No fucking shit, lady! Does it sound like I'm ordering a pizza?

Die Hard
Die Hard

John McClane: [huddled in an air vent, recalls his wife's invitation] "Come out to the coast, we'll get together, have a few laughs..."

Die Hard
Die Hard

Hans Gruber: [Reading what McClane wrote on the dead terrorist's shirt] "Now I have a machine gun. Ho ho ho."

Die Hard
Die Hard

Dwayne T. Robinson: I've got a hundred people down here, and they're covered with glass.
John McClane: Glass? Who gives a shit about glass? Who the fuck is this?
Dwayne T. Robinson: This is Deputy Chief of Police, Dwayne T. Robinson, and I am in charge of this situation.
John McClane: Oh, you're in charge?

Well, I got some bad news for you *Dwayne*, from up here it doesn't look like you're in charge of jack shit.
Dwayne T. Robinson: You listen to me, you little asshole, I'm...
John McClane: Asshole? I'm not the one who just got butt-fucked on national TV, *Dwayne*. Now, you listen to me, jerk-off, if you're not a part of the solution, you're a part of

the problem. Quit being a part of the fucking problem and put the other guy back on!

Die Hard
Die Hard

John McClane: Welcome to the party, pal.

Die Hard
Die Hard

John McClane: You'd have made a pretty good cowboy yourself, Hans.
Hans Gruber: Oh, yes. What was it you said to me before? "Yippie-ki-yay, motherfucker."

Die Hard
Die Hard

Hans Gruber: This time John Wayne does not walk off into the sunset with Grace Kelly.
John McClane: That was Gary Cooper, asshole.

Die Hard
Die Hard

Hans Gruber: [Hans' radio turns on] I thought I told all of you, I want radio silence until further...
John McClane: Ooooh, I'm very sorry Hans. I didn't get that message. Maybe you should've put it on the bulletin board. I figured since I've waxed Tony and Marco and his friend here, I figured you and Karl and Franco might be a little lonely, so I wanted to

give you a call.
Karl: How does he know so much about th...
Hans Gruber: [silences Karl him with a gesture] That's very kind of you. I assume you are our mysterious party crasher. You are most troublesome, for a security guard.
John McClane: Eeeh! Sorry Hans, wrong guess. Would you like to go for Double Jeopardy where the

scores can really change?
[speaking to dead man about cigarettes]
John McClane: Whoa, these are very bad for you.
Hans Gruber: Who are you then?
John McClane: Just a fly in the ointment, Hans. The monkey in the wrench. The pain in the ass.

Die Hard
Die Hard

John McClane: Drop it, dickhead. It's the police.
Tony: You won't hurt me.
John McClane: Oh, yeah? Why not?
Tony: Because you're a policeman. There are rules for policemen.
John McClane: Yeah. That's what my captain keeps telling me.

Die Hard
Die Hard

Ginny: [Karl smashes a table of glasses in fury] God. That man looks *really* pissed.
Holly Gennero McClane: He's still alive.
Ginny: What?
Holly Gennero McClane: Only John can drive somebody that crazy.

Die Hard
Die Hard

Hans Gruber: "And when Alexander saw the breadth of his domain, he wept, for there were no more worlds to conquer." Benefits of a classical education.

Die Hard
Die Hard

John McClane: You throw quite a party. I didn't realize they celebrated Christmas in Japan.
Joseph Takagi: Hey, we're flexible. Pearl Harbor didn't work out so we got you with tape decks.

Die Hard
Die Hard

Joseph Takagi: You want money? What kind of terrorists are you?
Hans Gruber: Who said we were terrorists?

Die Hard
Die Hard

Hans Gruber: Touching, Cowboy, touching. Or should I call you, Mr. McClane? Mr. Officer John McClane of the New York Police Department?
Richard Thornburg: Get on the phone to Harry in New York. Come on, baby, move, move.
Thornburg's Assistant: Got it.
Sergeant Al Powell: Better get a hold of somebody in

dispatch.
John McClane: Sister Teresa called me Mr. McClane in the third grade. My friends call me John, and you're neither, shit-head.
Hans Gruber: I have someone who wants to talk to you; a very special friend who was with you at the party tonight.
Harry Ellis: [Hans hands him the walkie talkie] Hey, John boy.

John McClane: Ellis?
Harry Ellis: Yeah. Now listen, John, they're giving me a few minutes to try to talk some sense into you. I know you think you're doing your job, John, and I can appreciate that, but, you're just dragging this thing out. Now look, no one gets outta here until these guys can talk to the *LA* police, and that just ain't gonna happen until

you stop messin' up the works, capisci?
John McClane: Ellis, what have you told them?
Harry Ellis: I told 'em we were old friends and you were my guest at the party.
John McClane: Ellis, you shouldn't be doin' this.
Harry Ellis: Tell me about it. Alright, John, listen. They want you to tell them where

the detonators are. They know people are listening. They want the detonators or they're gonna kill me.
[pause]
Harry Ellis: John, didn't you hear me?
John McClane: Yeah, I hear you.
Harry Ellis: Hey, John, I think you can get with the program a little, huh? The police are here now, it's their problem. Now tell these

guys where the detonators are so no one else gets hurt, you know I'm putting my life on the line for you, pal.
John McClane: Ellis, listen to me very carefully.
Harry Ellis: John?
John McClane: Shut up Ellis, just shut your mouth! Put Hans back on the line.
[Ellis holds the walkie talkie up]
John

McClane: Hans, this shit-head does not know what kind of man you are, but I do. Listen to me!
Hans Gruber: Good. Then, you'll give us what we want and save your friend's life. You're not part of this equation this time, you realize that.
[presents his gun]
Harry Ellis: Hey, what am I, a method actor? Hans, babe, put away the gun, this

is radio, not television.
John McClane: [nervously yelling] Hans, this asshole is not my friend, I just met him tonight, I don't know him. Jesus Christ, Ellis these people are gonna kill you, tell them, you don't know me.
Harry Ellis: John, how can you say that after all these years, huh? John?
[gets no response]
Harry

Ellis: John?
[still gets no response, then laughs slightly, then Hans shoots him in the head]
Hans Gruber: [he puts the walkie talkie up to the screaming crowd, then yells into the walkie talkie] You hear that? Talk to me, where are my detonators? Where are they, or shall I shoot another one? Sooner or later, I might get to someone you *do* care about!

John McClane: Go fuck yourself, Hans.

Die Hard
Die Hard

Hans: The following people are to be released from their captors: In Northern Ireland, the seven members of the New Provo Front. In Canada, the five imprisoned leaders of Liberte de Quebec. In Sri Lanka, the nine members of the Asian Dawn movement...
John McClane: [listening on the radio] What the fuck?
Karl: [mouthing silently]

Asian Dawn?
Hans: [covers the radio] I read about them in Time magazine.

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Die Hard

Dwayne T. Robinson: We're gonna need some more FBI guys, I guess.

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Die Hard

John McClane: So that's is what this is about, Hans? A fucking robbery?
Hans Gruber: Put down the gun.
John McClane: Why'd you have to nuke the whole building, Hans?
Hans Gruber: Well, when you steal $600, you can just disappear. When you steal 600 million, they will find you, unless they think you're already

dead.

Die Hard
Die Hard

Holly Gennero McClane: I have a request.
Hans Gruber: What idiot put you in charge?
Holly Gennero McClane: You did.
[Hans looks at her]
Holly Gennero McClane: When you murdered my boss. Now everybody's looking to me. Personally, I'd pass on the job. I don't enjoy being this close to you.
[long

pause]
Hans Gruber: Go on.
Holly Gennero McClane: We have a pregnant woman out there.
[Hans looks disturbed]
Holly Gennero McClane: Relax. She's not due for a couple of weeks. Sitting on that rock isn't doing her back any good, so I would like permission to move her to one of the office where there's a sofa.

Hans Gruber: No, but I'll have a sofa brought out to you. Good enough?
Holly Gennero McClane: Good enough, and unless you like it messy, I'd start bringing us in groups to the bathroom.
Hans Gruber: Yes... you're right, it will be done.

Die Hard
Die Hard

Theo: [as the SWAT Team closes in]
[over the CB]
Theo: All right, listen up guys. 'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, except... the four assholes coming in the rear in standard two-by-two cover formation.