Dial M for Murder Quotes

Tony Wendice: How do you go about writing a detective story?
Mark Halliday: Well, you forget detection and concentrate on crime. Crime's the thing. And then you imagine you're going to steal something or murder somebody.
Tony Wendice: Oh, is that how you do it? It's interesting.
Mark Halliday: Yes, I usually

put myself in the criminal's shoes and then I keep asking myself, uh, what do I do next?
Margot Mary Wendice: Do you really believe in the perfect murder?
Mark Halliday: Mmm, yes, absolutely. On paper, that is. And I think I could, uh, plan one better than most people; but I doubt if I could carry it out.
Tony Wendice: Oh? Why

not?
Mark Halliday: Well, because in stories things usually turn out the way the author wants them to; and in real life they don't... always.
Tony Wendice: Hmm.
Mark Halliday: No, I'm afraid my murders would be something like my bridge: I'd make some stupid mistake and never realize it until I found everybody was looking at

me.

Tony Wendice: By the way does Mrs. Van Dorn know about "Mr. Adams" or "Mr. Wilson" and Miss Wallace? You were planning to marry Mrs. Van Dorn, weren't you?
C.A. Swan: Smart, aren't you?
Tony Wendice: No, not really. I've just had time to think things out. Put myself in your position. That's why I know you're going to agree.

C.A. Swan: What makes you think I'll agree?
Tony Wendice: For the same reason that a donkey with a stick behind him and a carrot in front always goes forwards and not backwards.
C.A. Swan: Tell me about the carrot.

[last lines]
Tony Wendice: As you said Mark, it might work out on paper, but congratulations, Inspector. Oh, by the way... How about you, Margot?
Margot Mary Wendice: Yes, I could do with something.
Tony Wendice: Mark?
Mark Halliday: So could I.
Tony Wendice: I suppose you're

still on duty, Inspector.

Tony Wendice: At exactly three minutes to eleven, you'll enter the house through the street door. You'll find the key to this door under the stair carpet here.
C.A. Swan: The fifth step?
Tony Wendice: That's the one. Go straight to the window, and hide behind the curtains. At exactly eleven o'clock, I shall go to the telephone in the

hotel to call my boss. I shall dial the wrong number. This number. That's all I shall do.

C.A. Swan: [referring to the bribe money Tony is offering him to kill Margot] You know the police would only have to trace one of these notes back to you to hang us both from the same rope?
Tony Wendice: They won't. For a whole year I've been cashing an extra twenty pounds a week, always in fivers. I then change them for those at my leisure.

C.A. Swan: Let me see your bank statement.
Tony Wendice: By all means. Don't touch.
[Tony opens up his checkbook for Swan, so as not to leave fingerprints]
C.A. Swan: [as he reads] Turn back a page.
[Tony complies]
C.A. Swan: Ah, your balance has dropped by over a thousand pounds during the year.

Suppose the police ask you about that?
Tony Wendice: I go dog-racing twice a week.
C.A. Swan: They'll check your bookmaker!
Tony Wendice: Like you, I always bet on the "Tote." Satisfied?

Mark Halliday: When did you find out, sir?
Chief Insp. Hubbard: Well, the first clue came quite by accident.
[to Margot]
Chief Insp. Hubbard: We discovered that your husband had been spending a large number of pound notes all over the place - it ran into over three hundred pounds - and it appeared to have started at about the

time you were arrested. Now, I had to find out where he got that money, and how. Then I remembered that after you were arrested we searched this flat, and I saw a copy of his bank statement in that desk. So yesterday afternoon, I went to the prison and asked to see your handbag. While I was doing this, I managed to lift your latchkey. Highly irregular, of course, but my blood was up. And then this

morning when your husband was out, I came back here to look at his statement. I never saw it... because I never got through that door. You see, the key that I'd taken from your handbag didn't fit the lock!

C.A. Swan: You know, I think I must have seen you somewhere since we left Cambridge.
Tony Wendice: Ever been to Wimbledon?
C.A. Swan: That's it! Wendice. Tony Wendice. What's all this about "Fisher"?
Tony Wendice: What's all this about "Lesgate"?
[embarrassed, Swan doesn't respond]
Tony

Wendice: Would you like a cigar?

Chief Insp. Hubbard: Sooner or later, he'll come back here. As I've pinched his latch key, he'll try the one in the handbag. When that doesn't fit, he'll realize his mistake, put two and two together, and look under the stair carpet.
Mark Halliday: If he doesn't do that, all of this is pure guess work. We can't prove a thing.
Chief Insp.

Hubbard: That's perfectly true. But once he opens that door, we shall know everything.