Gru: You told me my father died of disappointment the day I was born!
Agnes: The soup of the day, madame and monsieur. The Gummi Bears were my idea.
Gru: [Looks warily at soup] Mmm. Looks almost too good to even eat. Am I right?
Agnes: But I made it for you.
Gru: [Takes a spoonful, struggles to avoid retching] Mmm, mmm, mmm! Good soup! I love the combination...
[swallows]
Gru: ... of Gummi Bears and meat.
Mel the Minion: [singing onstage in the Sing competition with other Minions] Pito pato milo mila taka tiki poulet tika Cepa la joi demitoka lana moule macarena. Pao leggis pabo pati mele cepa maka guta mami lebel mela mustache elle muchaaaa...
Balthazar Bratt: Hello, Gru. How's your transition coming? You know, from world's worst villain to world's worst agent.
[pulls out a gun and aims it at Gru]
Gru: [sarcastic] Oh, that's hilarious. You should be on TV.
[slaps the gun away]
Gru: Oh, that's right, you were!
[aims the Freeze Ray and aims it at Bratt]
Gru: But then you got canceled!
[laughs]
Balthazar Bratt: [kicks the Freeze Ray away; pulls out a humongous gun and aims it at Gru] Ha ha!
Gru: Oh, what about that?
[punches the gun away and squirts a squirt gun at Bratt]
Gru: Whaa...? Ah, girls!
[throws the squirt gun at Bratt and
throws punches at him]
Balthazar Bratt: [dodges the punches] Dance fight!
[dodges and dances as Gru tries to catch him]
Agnes: [to the Scar Faced Man] You saw a for real, like, unicorn? What did it look like? Did you pet it? Did it smell like candy? Was it FLUFFY?
The Scar Faced Man: It was so fluffy... I thought I was gonna die!
[Agnes smiles and screams extremely loud]
Lucy Wilde: [outside the shop] Agnes!
[breaks in and severely
attacks everyone]
Lucy Wilde: Excuse me!
[grabs a dart from someone and puts it in another person]
Lucy Wilde: Don't worry, I'm here!
[picks Agnes up]
Lucy Wilde: Are you okay?
[pants]
Edith: Yeah, we're fine. Are you...?
Agnes: Unicorns are really real! And
I'm gonna find ONE!
[happily runs outside the shop]
Lucy Wilde: [to everyone who is knocked out on the floor after she attacked them] Sorry. Went a little mamma bear on ya. You know, I heard a scream and... Yeah, okay. Have a good one!
[from TV Spot]
Valerie Da Vinci: Agent Gru, YOU'RE FIRED!
Lucy Wilde: If you fire him, you're gonna have to fire me. Do you really wanna do that? Alu-ya.
[guards throw them out]
Lucy Wilde: Well, I guess she did.
[from trailer]
Gru: [hanging naked from strings of bubble gum; passes a window with a group of people singing happy birthday who start laughing and taking photos] Happy Birthday dear Dan. Happy Birthday...
Minions: [watching from binoculars] ... to you!
[laugh]