Deadpool: [Commenting on her shaved head] Ripley, from Alien 3!
Negasonic Teenage Warhead: Fuck, you're old.
Deadpool: [cackles] Fake laugh. Hiding real pain. Go get Silver Balls.
[from leaked test footage]
Deadpool: [singing to Hollaback Girl on the radio] I heard that you were talking shit / And you didn't think that I'd hear it / People hear you talking like that, getting everybody fired up... This my shit, this my shit / This shit is bananas, B-A-N-A-N-A-S...
Deadpool: Whatever they did to me made me totally indestructible... and completely unfuckable.
Deadpool: Time to make the chimi-fuckin'-changas.
Wade Wilson: [to Vanessa] Your right leg is Thanksgiving and your left leg is Christmas. Can I come and visit you between the holidays?
Deadpool: [to Colossus] Listen, the day I decide to become a crime-fighting shit swizzler, who rooms with a bunch of other little whiners at the Neverland Mansion of some creepy, old, bald, Heaven's Gate-looking motherfucker... on that day, I'll send your shiny, happy ass a friend request!
Wade Wilson: Listen, Ive been thinking.
Vanessa Carlysle: Really?
Wade Wilson: About why were so good together.
Vanessa Carlysle: Why is that?
Wade Wilson: Well, your crazy matches my crazy, big time.
Vanessa Carlysle: Mm.
Wade
Wilson: And, uh, were like two jigsaw pieces, you know, and we have curvy edges.
Vanessa Carlysle: But you fit them together and you see the picture on top.
Wade Wilson: Right.
Vanessa Carlysle: Wade, theres something Ive been meaning to ask you. Only because you havent gotten around to asking
me. Will you, um, stick it up my a
[Wade holds up a giant ring]
Wade Wilson: Marry me?
Vanessa Carlysle: Uh, jinx?
Wade Wilson: Huh.
Vanessa Carlysle: Where were you hiding that?
Wade Wilson: Nowhere.
[Wade and is shown to be butt-naked]
Wade Wilson: Hey, is Ajax your actual name? Because it sounds suspiciously made up. What is it really? Kevin? Bruce? Scott? Mitch? The Rickster?
[in British accent]
Wade Wilson: Is it Basil Fawlty?
Ajax: Oh, joke away. One thing that never survives in this place is a sense of humor.
Wade Wilson: We'll
see about that.
Ajax: I suppose we will.
Ajax: [to Angel] He's all yours.
[Ajax leaves]
Wade Wilson: Oh, come on. You're gonna leave me all alone here with less-angry Rosie O'Donnell?
[Angel punches Wade]