Chasing Amy Quotes

Alyssa: Why are we stopping?
Holden: 'Cause I can't take this.
Alyssa: Can't take what?
Holden: I love you.
Alyssa: You love me?
Holden: I love you. And not, not in a friendly way, although I think we're great friends. And not in a misplaced affection, puppy-dog

way, although I'm sure that's what you'll call it. I love you. Very, very simple, very truly. You are the-the epitome of everything I have ever looked for in another human being. And I know that you think of me as just a friend, and crossing that line is-is-is the furthest thing from an option you would ever consider. But I had to say it. I just, I can't take this anymore. I can't stand next to

you without wanting to hold you. I can't-I can't look into your eyes without feeling that-that longing you only read about in trashy romance novels. I can't talk to you without wanting to express my love for everything you are. And I know this will probably queer our friendship - no pun intended - but I had to say it, 'cause I've never felt this way before, and I-I don't care. I like who I am

because of it. And if bringing this to light means we can't hang out anymore, then that hurts me. But God, I just, I couldn't allow another day to go by without just getting it out there, regardless of the outcome, which by the look on your face is to be the inevitable shoot-down. And, you know, I'll accept that. But I know, I know that some part of you is hesitating for a moment, and if there's a

moment of hesitation, then that means you feel something too. And all I ask, please, is that you just - you just not dismiss that, and try to dwell in it for just ten seconds. Alyssa, there isn't another soul on this fucking planet who has ever made me half the person I am when I'm with you, and I would risk this friendship for the chance to take it to the next plateau. Because it is there between

you and me. You can't deny that. Even if, you know, even if we never talk again after tonight, please know that I am forever changed because of who you are and what you've meant to me, which - while I do appreciate it - I'd never need a painting of birds bought at a diner to remind me of.

Silent Bob: So there's me and Amy, and we're all inseparable, right? Just big time in love. And then four months down the road, the idiot gear kicks in, and I ask about the ex-boyfriend. Which, as we all know, is a really dumb move. But you know how it is: you don't wanna know, but you just have to, right? Stupid guy bullshit. So, anyway, she starts telling me about him... how

they fell in love, and how they went out for a couple of years, and how they lived together, her mother likes me better, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah... and I'm okay. But then she drops the bomb on me, and the bomb is this: it seems that a couple of times, while they were going out, he brought some people to bed with them. Ménage à trois, I believe it's called. Now this just blows my

mind, right? I mean, I am not used to this sort of thing. I mean, I was raised Catholic, for God's sake.
Jay: Saint Shithead.
[Silent Bob elbows him; Jay motions as if to start a fight]
Silent Bob: Do something.
[to Holden]
Silent Bob: So I'm totally weirded out by this, right? And then I just start blasting her.

Like... I don't know how to deal with what I'm feeling, so I figure the best way is by calling her a slut, right? And tell her she was used. I'm... I'm out for blood. I really wanna hurt this girl. I'm like, "What the fuck is your problem?", right? And she's just all calmly trying to tell me, like, it was that time and it was that place and she doesn't think she should apologize because she

doesn't feel that she's done anything wrong. I'm like, "Oh, really?" That's when I look her straight in the eye, I tell her it's over. I walk.
Jay: Fuckin' A!
Silent Bob: No, idiot. It was a mistake. I didn't hate her. I wasn't disgusted with her. I was afraid. At that moment, I felt small, like... like I'd lacked experience, like I'd never be on her

level, like I'd never be enough for her or something like that, you know what I'm saying? But, what I did not get, she didn't care. She wasn't looking for that guy anymore. She was... she was looking for me, for the Bob. But, uh, by the time I figure this all out, it was too late, man. She moved on, and all I had to show for it was some foolish pride, which then gave way to regret. She was the

girl, I know that now. But I pushed her away. So, I've spent every day since then chasing Amy... so to speak.

Hooper: Always some white boy gotta invoke the holy trilogy. Bust this: Those movies are about how the white man keeps the brother man down, even in a galaxy far, far away. Check this shit: You got cracker farm boy Luke Skywalker, Nazi poster boy, blond hair, blue eyes. And then you got Darth Vader, the blackest brother in the galaxy, Nubian god!
Banky

Edwards: What's a Nubian?
Hooper: Shut the fuck up! Now... Vader, he's a spiritual brother, y'know, down with the force and all that good shit. Then this cracker, Skywalker, gets his hands on a light saber and the boy decides he's gonna run the fuckin' universe; gets a whole clan of whites together. And they go and bust up Vader's hood, the Death Star. Now what the

fuck do you call that?
Banky Edwards: Intergalactic civil war?
Hooper: Gentrification! They gon' drive out the black element to make the galaxy quote, unquote, safe for white folks. And Jedi's the most insulting installment! Because Vader's beautiful black visage is sullied when he pulls off his mask to reveal a feeble, crusty, old white man! They

tryin' to tell us that deep inside we all wants to be white!
Banky Edwards: Well, isn't that true?
[Hooper pulls out his gun, shoots Banky]

Silent Bob: [mumbling to Holden, who has just revealed his trouble with Alyssa] You're chasin' Amy.
Holden: [Shocked that Silent Bob has broken his silence] What? What did you say?
Silent Bob: You're chasing Amy.
Jay: What do you look so shocked for, man? Fat bastard does this all the time. He thinks just

'cause he doesn't say anything, it'll have some huge impact when he does open his fuckin' mouth...
Silent Bob: Jesus Christ, why don't you shut up? You're always yap-yap-yappin' all the time! You're givin' me a fuckin' headache.
[to Holden]
Silent Bob: I went through something like what you're talking about, a couple years ago with this chick

named Amy.
Jay: When was this?
Silent Bob: [annoyed] A couple of years ago?
Jay: What, she live in Canada or something? How come I don't remember anyone with the name of Amy?
Silent Bob: Bitch, what you don't know about me I can just about squeeze in the Grand fucking Canyon. Did you know I always

wanted to be a dancer in Vegas?

Hooper: For years in this industry, whenever an African American character, hero or villain, was introduced - usually by *white* artists and writers - they got slapped with racist names that singled them out as Negroes. Now, my book, "White-Hatin' Coon," don't have none of that bullshit. The hero's name is Maleekwa, and he's a descendant from the black tribe that established the

first society on the planet, while all you European motherfuckers were still hiding in caves and shit, all terrified of the sun. He's a strong role model that a young black reader can look up to. 'Cause I'm here to tell you, the chickens is coming home to roost, y'all. The black man's no longer gonna play the minstrel in the medium of comics and sci-fi fantasy. We keepin' it real, and we gonna get

respect by any means necessary.
Holden: Ah, come on, that's a bunch of horse shit! Lando Calrissian was a black guy. You know. He got to fly the Millennium Falcon, what's the matter with you?
Hooper: Who said that?
Holden: I did! Lando Calrissian is a positive role-model in the realm of science-fiction/fantasy.

Hooper: Fuck Lando Calrissian! Uncle Tom nigger!

Alyssa: You know, I didn't just heed what I was taught, men and women should be together, it's the natural way, that kind of thing. I'm not with you because of what family, society, life tried to instill in me from day one. The way the world is, how seldom it is that you meet that one person who just *gets* you - it's so rare. My parents didn't really have it. There were no

examples set for me in the world of male-female relationships. And to cut oneself off from finding that person, to immediately halve your options by eliminating the possibility of finding that one person within your own gender, that just seemed stupid to me. So I didn't. But then you came along. You, the one least likely. I mean, you were a guy.
Holden: Still am.

Alyssa: And while I was falling for you I put a ceiling on that, because you *were* a guy. Until I remembered why I opened the door to women in the first place: to not limit the likelihood of finding that one person who'd complement me so completely. So here we are. I was thorough when I looked for you. And I feel justified lying in your arms, 'cause I got here on my own terms,

and I have no question there was some place I didn't look. And for me that makes all the difference.
Holden: [pause] Well, can I at least tell people all you needed was some serious deep dicking?

Banky Edwards: Alright, now see this? This is a four-way road, okay? And dead in the center is a crisp, new, hundred dollar bill. Now, at the end of each of these streets are four people, okay? You following?
Holden: Yeah.
Banky Edwards: Good. Over here, we have a male-affectionate, easy to get along with, non-political agenda

lesbian. Down here, we have a man-hating, angry as fuck, agenda of rage, bitter dyke. Over here, we got Santa Claus, and up here the Easter Bunny. Which one is going to get to the hundred dollar bill first?
Holden: What is this supposed to prove?
Banky Edwards: No, I'm serious. This is a serious exercise. It's like an SAT question. Which one is going

to get to the hundred dollar bill first? The male-friendly lesbian, the man-hating dyke, Santa Claus, or the Easter bunny?
Holden: The man-hating dyke.
Banky Edwards: Good. Why?
Holden: I don't know.
Banky Edwards: [shouting] Because the other three are figments of your fucking imagination!

Banky Edwards: What is it about this girl man? You know you have no shot at getting her into bed. Why do you bother wasting time with her? Because you're Holden fucking McNeil, the most persistent traveler on the road that's *not* the path of least resistance. Everything's gotta be a fucking challenge for you and this little relationship with that *bitch* is a prime example of

your fucking condition. Well, I don't need a magic 8-ball to look into your future. You want a forecast? Here, will Holden ever fuck Alyssa? Oh, what a shock, "Not fucking Likely." This relationship is affecting you, our work and our friendship and the time's gonna come when I throw down the gauntlet and say it's me or her. Then what are you gonna say?
Holden: I think you

should let this one go.
Banky Edwards: No, what would you say? Would you trash twenty years of fucking friendship because you got some idiotic notion that this chick would even let you sniff her panties, let alone fuck her?
Holden: Look fucking asshole, I'm telling you, okay, let it go!
Banky Edwards: What the fuck, man! What

the fuck makes this bitch all that important?
Holden: 'Cause I'm fucking in love with her, man, okay?

Holden: They fuckin' used you!
Alyssa: No! I used them! You don't think I would've let it happen if I hadn't've wanted to? Do you? I was an experimental girl for Christ sake! Maybe you knew early on that your track was from point A to B, but unlike you I was not given a fucking map at birth, so I tried it all! That is until we, that's you and I, got

together and suddenly I was sated!

Cohee Lundin: [Explaining how Alyssa's High-School nickname "Finger-Cuffs" came to be] Alyssa Jones? Shit I know Alyssa Jones, I mean I KNOW Alyssa Jones! Know what I'm sayin'? Me and Rick Darris used to hang around her house after school and shit cause her parents were like never home and shit. One day Rick just whips it out and starts rubbin it on her leg and shit, starts chasin

her around the living room. I was dyin. But you know what the crazy bitch did? She drops to her knees and she just starts suckin him off. Right there in front of me, like I wasn't even there man. I almost died. But that's not the fucked up part. The fucked up part was Rick, man, right in the middle of it, he turns to me and he says 'Cohee!' Just like that, 'Co-Hee!' So I'm like, "Yo ill give it a

shot." So I start pullin' her pants down and shit. All slow cause I'm figurin' any minute she's gonna turn around and belt me in the mouth and shit right? But yo check this shit out man. Shes all into it. She doesn't even try to stop me or nothin'. Shes all wet and shit and I just start going to work, Know what I'm sayin? Me and Rick are just going to town on this crazy bitch and shes just loving

it, all moaning and shit, it was fucked up! So Ricks the one that came up with the nickname, cause that day she had us locked in tight from both ends like a pair of god-damned Chinese finger cuffs!