Willy Wonka: Everything in this room is eatable, even I'm eatable! But that is called "cannibalism", my dear children, and is in fact frowned upon in most societies.
Willy Wonka: Good morning, starshine... the earth says hello!
Grandpa George: There's plenty of money out there. They print more every day. But this ticket, there's only five of them in the whole world, and that's all there's ever going to be. Only a dummy would give this up for something as common as money. Are you a dummy?
Mike Teavee: Why is everything here completely pointless?
Charlie Bucket: Candy doesn't have to have a point. That's why it's candy.
Mike Teavee: Who wants a beard?
Willy Wonka: Well, beatniks for one, folk singers, and motorbike riders. Y'know. All those hip, jazzy, super cool, neat, keen, and groovy cats. It's in the fridge, daddy-o! Are you hip to the jive? Can you dig what I'm layin' down? I knew that you could. Slide me some skin, soul brother!
Willy Wonka: You can't run a chocolate factory with a family hanging over you like an old, dead goose. No offense.
Grandpa George: None taken. Jerk.
Willy Wonka: The best kind of prize is a *sur*prise!
Veruca Salt: I'm Veruca Salt. It's very nice to meet you, sir.
[does a curtsy]
Willy Wonka: I always thought a verruca was a type of wart you got on the bottom of your foot.
[laughs]
Grandma Georgina: You smell like peanuts. I love peanuts.
Willy Wonka: Oh, thank you. You smell like... old people. And soap. I like it.
Willy Wonka: Let's go put him in the taffy puller!
Mr. Teavee: [horrified] Taffy puller?
Willy Wonka: Hey, that was my idea!
Willy Wonka: Little girl? Don't touch that squirrel's nuts! It'll make him crazy!
[last lines]
Narrator: In the end, Charlie Bucket won a chocolate factory. But Willy Wonka had something even better, a family. And one thing was absolutely certain - life had never been sweeter.
