Captain Fantastic
Captain Fantastic

Rellian: If you assume that there is no hope, you guarantee that there will be no hope. If you assume that there is an instinct for freedom, that there are opportunities to change things, then there is a possibility that you can contribute to making a better world.

Captain Fantastic
Captain Fantastic

Ben: When you have sex with a woman, be gentle and listen to her. Treat her with respect and dignity even if you don't love her.
Bo: I know.
Ben: Always tell the truth. Always take the high road.
Bo: I know.
Ben: Live each day like it could be your last. Drink it in. Be adventurous, be

bold, but savour it. It goes fast.
Bo: I know.
Ben: Don't die.
Bo: I won't.

Captain Fantastic
Captain Fantastic

Ben: [preparing to cremate his wife] My face is mine, my hands are mine, my mouth is mine, but I'm not. I'm yours.

Captain Fantastic
Captain Fantastic

Kielyr: We're defined by our actions, not our words.

Captain Fantastic
Captain Fantastic

Nai: Power to the people!
Bo: Stick it to the man!

Captain Fantastic
Captain Fantastic

Nai: Let's dig. Otherwise she has to lie under that bullshit forever.

Captain Fantastic
Captain Fantastic

Rellian: What kind of crazy person celebrates Noam Chomsky's birthday like it's some kind of official holiday? Why can't we celebrate Christmas like the rest of the entire world?
Ben: You would prefer to celebrate a magical fictitious elf, instead of a living humanitarian who's done so much to promote human rights and understanding?

Captain Fantastic
Captain Fantastic

Ben: There's no cavalry. No one will magically appear and save you in the end.

Captain Fantastic
Captain Fantastic

Ben: [stops the bus to lecture his moping children] We can't go to mommy's funeral. We have to do what we're told. Some fights, you can't win. The powerful control the lives of the powerless. That's the way the world works. It's unjust and it's unfair. But that's just too damn bad. We have to shut up and accept it.
[now turning around in his seat]

Ben: Well, fuck that!
[starts the bus back up and turns on loud bag pipe music]
Kids: [all cheering]

Captain Fantastic
Captain Fantastic

Bo: I just want to go to college.
Ben: You speak six languages. You have high math, theoretical physics! This is what I'm talking about! What the hell are these people going to teach you?
Bo: I know nothing! I know nothing! I am a freak because of you! You made us freaks! And mom knew that! She understood! Unless it comes out of a

fucking book, I don't know anything about anything!

Captain Fantastic
Captain Fantastic

Nai: [from the back seat] What does rape mean?
Ben: When a person, usually a man, forces another person, usually a woman, to have sexual intercourse.
Nai: Oh.
Ben: Who's hungry?
Kids: Me! Me!
Nai: What's sexual intercourse?
Ben: When a man sticks his penis

in a woman's vagina... Everyone keep their eyes peeled for deer.
Nai: Why would a man stick his penis in a woman's vagina?
Ben: Because it can give them both pleasure. And because the combination of a man's sperm and a woman's egg can create a baby and continue the human race.
Nai: But that's where she pees.

Ben: Pee comes not from the vagina, but from the urethra, which is within the outer labia. But generally speaking, yes, that is where she pees... Everyone keep your eyes open for game of any kind.

Captain Fantastic
Captain Fantastic

Ben: [about flirtatious girls] Go talk to them. We got time.
Bo: Ask her what she thinks of the working people creating an armed revolution against the exploiting classes and their state structures?
Ben: Well, Marxists can be just as genocidal as capitalists.
Bo: Or weather or not she's a dialectical

materialist and accords primacy to the class struggle?
Ben: Avoid Marxism. Or telling her you're a Trotskyite.
Bo: Trotskyist. Only a Stalinist would call a Trotskyist a Trotskyite. And I'm not a Trotskyist anymore. I'm a Maoist.
Ben: Right. I forgot, sorry.

Captain Fantastic
Captain Fantastic

Ben: [commandeering the eulogy from the minister] First of all, Leslie practiced Buddhism, which to her was a philosophy and not an organized religion. In fact, Leslie abhorred all organized religions. To her, they were the most dangerous fairy tales ever invented, designed to elicit blind obedience, and strike fear into the hearts of the innocent and the uninformed. To her, the

only thing worse than death would have been the knowledge that her rotting flesh was to be trapped for all eternity inside a big box, and buried in the middle of a fucking golf course. Although the absurdity of being eulogized by someone that didn't even know her has exactly the kind of comedic flourish that Leslie would have cherished. If nothing else, she had a sense of humor. I want to read

something to all of you, so you'll know what I mean.
[pulling out a piece of paper]
Ben: Leslie's last will and testament. And I quote, "in the event of my death, I, Leslie Abigail Cash, as a Buddhist, wish to be cremated. My funeral, such as it is, shall be a celebration of the life cycle, with music and dancing. After, it is my expressed desire that my ashes shall

be taken to a nondescript location, preferably public and heavily populated. At which point my ashes, promptly and unceremoniously, are to be flushed down the nearest toilet." End quote. Now that's comedy.

Captain Fantastic
Captain Fantastic

Harper: Children don't drink wine.
Ben: In France and other countries, children drink small amounts of wine all the time. It's a digestive. It's not crack.
Nai: What's crack?
Ben: Crack is a crystallized, highly addictive derivative of the stimulant cocaine. In the mid-1980s, it accelerated the decimation of

inner-city neighborhoods. Crackheads, some of them kids just like you guys, were killing each other over nothing, over their Nikes.
Nai: They killed each other for Nike? The Greek winged-goddess of victory?

Captain Fantastic
Captain Fantastic

Ben: It's a beautiful mistake. But a mistake.

Captain Fantastic
Captain Fantastic

Kielyr: Okay, you can think that, but we don't make fun of people. Right, Dad?
Ben: That's right. We don't make fun of people.
Vespyr: Except Christians.

Captain Fantastic
Captain Fantastic

Vespyr: Yes, thank you, Zaj.
Ben: Can unique be modified?
Kids: [in unison] No.
Nai: [in his froggy costume] We don't hate Nana and Grandpa, but the rest of their tribe are fascist capitalists.
Kielyr: You're just repeating whatever dad says.
Nai: [squinty-eyed] I'm writing down

everything you say - in my mind.
Kielyr: Do you even know what a fascist is?
Nai: Violent nationalist militants, supported by big business, and they're totalitarian single-party dictators.

Captain Fantastic
Captain Fantastic

Ellen: [intercepting Bo & Claire on their way to a tryst] It's almost midnight. I sincerely hope you two lovebirds haven't been doing what I think you've been doing.
Bo: [talking rapidly] I know what you think. But I know that your daughter has taught me many things just now. She has broadened my mind, she has helped me grow. When we just kissed for the

first time just then, it... The endorphins that your daughter sent through my body were like dolphins swimming through my bloodstream. The way she has opened me up, she has penetrated deep inside of me, and I know that I have penetrated deep, deep inside of your daughter. And... but not-not like that. I would love to when... When it's necessary for... I, I want kids someday. Not right now, of

course.
Bo: [turning to speechless Claire] But when you're ready, when I'm ready, because I think this should be a shared decision. This is a decision that we should make together. But when you are ready, I will be ready. I am ready for you, if you will have me... Claire... What's your last name?

Captain Fantastic
Captain Fantastic

Ben: [to passers-by as he stands naked in the doorway of his bus] It's just a penis. Every man has one. We're all animals of the earth.
Nai: [waiting at the picnic table] Clothes when we eat!

Captain Fantastic
Captain Fantastic

Ben: Mom needs to be in the hospital right now.
Vespyr: But you said hospitals are a great place to go if you're a healthy person and you want to die.
Zaja: You said Americans are under-educated and over-medicated.
Kielyr: You said the AMA are avaricious whores only too willing to spread their fat legs for big

pharma.
Ben: All those things are true. But mom does not have enough of the neurotransmitter serotonin to conduct electrical signals in her brain.