Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason Quotes

Daniel Cleaver: [Daniel Cleaver and Mark Darcy have just had a fistfight over Bridget] You know what, mate? If you are so obsessed with Bridget Jones, why don't you just marry her?
Mark Darcy: [turns away and starts to walk]
Daniel Cleaver: [pause] Cause then she'd definitely shag me.
[Mark dives again into the fountain]

Bridget Jones: Well, uh... I just wanted to tell Mr. Darcy that I heard what magnificent work he actually did, releasing me from prison. Tiny... tiny misunderstanding to do with an enormous stash of cocaine. And I also wanted to say, since having found out that his girlfriend is actually a lesbian, that I love him. Always have. Always will. And that I'm, you know, available for

dates if he should feel so inclined.

Mark Darcy: As a matter of fact, I have a question to ask you.
Bridget Jones: Okay. As long as it's not, "Will you marry me?"
[chuckles. Mark looks devastated]
Bridget Jones: Oh, God... It *is* "Will you marry me?"
Mark Darcy: Well, I'm not going to say it now.
Bridget Jones: No,

no, no! Just wait!
[runs back to the door]
Mark Darcy: The moment's gone, Bridget.
Bridget Jones: We've just come out into the corridor and you say, "I've got a question to ask you" and then I don't say *anything*!
[pause]
Bridget Jones: and you say...
Mark Darcy: [pause] Bridget Jones,

will you marry me?

Mark Darcy: [answers the phone] Hello?
Bridget Jones: It's me. Just wondered how you are.
Mark Darcy: I'm fine thanks. Everything alright with you?
Bridget Jones: Fine, though, er, I've just had a rather graphic shag flashback. You do have a genuinely gorgeous bottom.
Mark Darcy: Right,

well, thank you. I'm actually with the Mexican Ambassador just at the moment and the Head of Amnesty International and the Under Secretary for Trade and Industry and you're on speakerphone.
Bridget Jones: Oh, right.

Mark Darcy: [Bridget gets out of bed covered in a sheet and begins to fumble around] What on Earth are you doing?
Bridget Jones: Getting dressed.
Mark Darcy: Why're you dancing around in that tent business?
Bridget Jones: Because I don't want you to see any of my wobbly bits.
Mark

Darcy: Well now that's a bit pointless, isn't it? As I happen to have a very high regard for your wobbly bits. In all circumstances.
Bridget Jones: [Bridget's head emerges from the sheet] Really?
Mark Darcy: Absolutely. I think it's high time we had another look.
[Bridget drops the sheet on the floor]

Bridget Jones: [Bridget is on the phone talking to Mark's answering machine while he waits outside her flat] You're outside! Look err, I'll ring you later. Unless you've come to chuck me once and for all, in which case... Bye and thank you and sorry.
[Mark buzzes up again from outside]
Bridget Jones: Oh God please don't chuck me, don't chuck me. If

you have chucked me, please change your mind, I'll behave much better in future.
[pause]
Bridget Jones: On the other hand if you haven't chucked me please behave better next time we go out. Stuck up snob.

Bridget Jones: Daniel Cleaver is a deceitful, sexist, disgusting specimen of humanity that I wouldn't share a lift with, let alone a job.
Daniel Cleaver: [swings around on his chair, coming into Bridget's view] Oh, come on Jones there must have been something you liked about me.
Bridget Jones: You have a nice car. And - quite nice

manners, outside the bedroom. But that's about it. And by the way, I know exactly where Germany is. The question is, do you know the location of your arsehole?
[walks out]
Daniel Cleaver: [to other colleagues] As a matter of fact I do know the exact location of my arsehole. And hers, for that matter.