Bridget Jones's Diary
Bridget Jones's Diary

Bridget: Wait a minute... nice boys don't kiss like that.
Mark Darcy: Oh, yes, they fucking do.

Bridget Jones's Diary
Bridget Jones's Diary

Mark Darcy: I don't think you're an idiot at all. I mean, there are elements of the ridiculous about you. Your mother's pretty interesting. And you really are an appallingly bad public speaker. And, um, you tend to let whatever's in your head come out of your mouth without much consideration of the consequences... But the thing is, um, what I'm trying to say, very inarticulately,

is that, um, in fact, perhaps despite appearances, I like you, very much. Just as you are.

Bridget Jones's Diary
Bridget Jones's Diary

Bridget: It is a truth universally acknowledged that when one part of your life starts going okay, another falls spectacularly to pieces.

Bridget Jones's Diary
Bridget Jones's Diary

Bridget: I'm so sorry. I didn't mean it. Well, I meant it, but I was so stupid that I didn't mean what I meant... After all, it's only a diary. Everyone knows diaries are just... full of crap.
Mark Darcy: Yes, I know that. I was just buying you a new one.

Bridget Jones's Diary
Bridget Jones's Diary

Bridget: Thank you, Daniel, that is very good to know. But if staying here means working within 10 yards of you, frankly, I'd rather have a job wiping Saddam Hussein's arse.

Bridget Jones's Diary
Bridget Jones's Diary

Mark Darcy: Bridget!
Bridget: Mark... What are you doing here?
Mark Darcy: I was just wondering if you were available for Bar Mitzvahs and Christenings in addition to Ruby Weddings.
Bridget: I thought you were in America.
Mark Darcy: Well I was... but I realized I had forgotten

something here.
Bridget: Which was...?
Mark Darcy: Well, I realized that I had forgotten to... kiss you goodbye, do you mind?
Bridget: Umm... not really, no. So... does this mean you're *not* going to America?
Mark Darcy: No... not.
Bridget: Does this mean you're staying here?


Mark Darcy: It would seem so...
Mark Darcy: [notices her friends cheering] Friends of yours?
Bridget: Oh, haha... never seen them before in my life.

Bridget Jones's Diary
Bridget Jones's Diary

Mark Darcy: Mother, I do not need a blind date. Particularly not with some verbally incontinent spinster who drinks like a fish, smokes like a chimney, and dresses like her mother.

Bridget Jones's Diary
Bridget Jones's Diary

Mark Darcy: I like you, very much.
Bridget: Ah, apart from the smoking and the drinking, the vulgar mother and... ah, the verbal diarrhea.
Mark Darcy: No, I like you very much. Just as you are.

Bridget Jones's Diary
Bridget Jones's Diary

[From the UK release]
[answering phone]
Bridget: Bridget Jones, wanton sex goddess, with a very bad man between her thighs... Mum... Hi.

Bridget Jones's Diary
Bridget Jones's Diary

Bridget: Did I really run round your lawn naked?
Mark Darcy: Oh, yes. You were four and I was eight.
Bridget: Well, that's a pretty big age difference. It's quite pervy really.
Mark Darcy: Yes, I like to think so.

Bridget Jones's Diary
Bridget Jones's Diary

Bridget: You once said you liked me just as I am and I just wanted to say likewise. I mean there are stupid things your mum buys you, tonight's another... classic. You're haughty, and you always say the wrong thing in every situation and I seriously believe that you should rethink the length of your sideburns. But, you're a nice man and I like you. If you wanted to pop by some

time that might be nice... more than nice.
Mark Darcy: Right, crikey.

Bridget Jones's Diary
Bridget Jones's Diary

Daniel Cleaver: Come on Bridget, we belong together - you, me, poor little skirt. If I can't make it with you then I can't make it with anyone.
Bridget: That's not a good enough offer for me.

Bridget Jones's Diary
Bridget Jones's Diary

Bridget: I owe you an apology about Daniel. He said you ran off with his fiancée and left him brokenhearted.
Mark Darcy: No, it was the other way around. My wife. My heart.

Bridget Jones's Diary
Bridget Jones's Diary

Daniel Cleaver: I've been going crazy. I can't stop thinking about you, and thinking about what an idiot I've been. Christ, is that blue soup?

Bridget Jones's Diary
Bridget Jones's Diary

Richard Finch: Why do you wanna work on television?
Bridget: I've got to leave my job because I shagged my boss.
Richard Finch: Fair enough. Start on Monday.

Bridget Jones's Diary
Bridget Jones's Diary

Perpetua: Anyone going to introduce me?
Bridget: [to herself] Ah. Introduce people with thoughtful details. Perpetua, this is Mark Darcy. Mark is a prematurely middle-aged prick with a cruel raced ex-wife. Perpetua is a fat-ass old bag who spends her time bossing me around.
[to herself]
Bridget: Maybe not.

Perpetua: Anyone going to introduce me?
Bridget: Ah, Perpetua. This is Mark Darcy. Mark is a top barrister. Comes from Grafton Underwood. Perpetua is one of my work colleagues.

Bridget Jones's Diary
Bridget Jones's Diary

Mark Darcy: I realize that when I met you at the turkey curry buffet, I was unforgivably rude, and wearing a reindeer jumper.

Bridget Jones's Diary
Bridget Jones's Diary

Mark Darcy: I should have done this years ago.
Daniel Cleaver: Done what?
Mark Darcy: This.
[Darcy punches Cleaver, hard]
Daniel Cleaver: Ow. Fuck me, that really hurt. What the fuck do you think you're doing?
Mark Darcy: This.
[Darcy punches Cleaver again, even harder]


Bridget Jones's Diary
Bridget Jones's Diary

Mark Darcy: [pauses during fight to sing] Happy birthday dear what's-his-name...

Bridget Jones's Diary
Bridget Jones's Diary

Tom: Well done Bridge, four hours of careful cooking and a feast of blue soup, omelette and marmalade. I think that deserves a toast, don't you? To Bridget, who cannot cook, but who we love
[in an undertone]
Tom: just as she is.
TomShazzerJude: To Bridget, just as she is.